Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Appreciation is tough to achieve, at times.

(The blue ball is missing again. Just wanted to put that out there. It disappeared on Monday, and is still gone as of this morning. The people on the ghosty website I'm a member of want me to get a webcam on the damned thing, which I might just do in the future. Because it's WEIRD. Just plain weird. I'll let you all know when it shows back up again...)

Yesterday, I was pointed in the direction of this story about a 6 year old schizophrenic. Her name is Jani (short for January), and she and her family live in the LA area. As I read through the story about what Jani has developed into since birth, and what her parents have gone through in trying to get her diagnosed and then properly medicated and cared for, I realized that my life really is cake. It is CAKE compared to what people like this have to go through!

Not that I ever think otherwise, really. I know I have things easy, comparatively.

It's times like this...what I'm going through right now with the family and my father and everything...that even make me consider things like how good or bad my life is, and how easy or hard I have it on a daily basis. And it's hard to describe because it's not until I get up, and get moving each day that my brain starts to work against me. But by then, I'm already up and moving. It's not like I can stop the process once it's already started! So I shower, and then I put on makeup, and then I choose an outfit and put it on, and then I go to work. And the day just rolls along.

But some of those days feel like they're being performed in a jar of molasses, all covered in a slow-moving, sticky goo that makes it hard to breath, like Monday was. And then some days are just...normal. I might be more tired than usual, and require an extra dose of caffeine when I get to work, but otherwise, it's not all bad. Like today. Today is good, so far.

And I know it's all relative...the difficulties we face and have to deal with shouldn't be compared to other peoples' difficult issues, because really, we'd deal with whatever is handed to us accordingly, I bet. But I can't help but look at stories like that one, and think to myself, Holy HELL, you need to snap out of it!

Is that wrong of me, do you think?

9 comments:

Alisha said...

I just read that article and I can't really put into words how it made me feel.

::shakes head::

Ms. Pants said...

I find Jani rather fascinating. I'd love to peer into her world. But I also ache that she's trapped within it as well.

PB would tell you not to compare your problems with anyone else's. Your problems are yours and they are important to you--comparing them to those of someone else is counterproductive, as the two are comparable.

Essentially-- don't short yourself. xox

Ms. Pants said...

I find Jani rather fascinating. I'd love to peer into her world. But I also ache that she's trapped within it as well.

PB would tell you not to compare your problems with anyone else's. Your problems are yours and they are important to you--comparing them to those of someone else is counterproductive, as the two are comparable.

Essentially-- don't short yourself. xox

Faith said...

I find her fascinating, too. I feel terrible for the parents, but I can't help but wonder what it must be like to be inside that tiny head...where did the insanity come from? IS it considered insanity, or is that word not used with regards to schizophrenia?

I told the Twin on the phone, I really think it's interesting that she names everything with numbers, or after days of the week. Wonder what that's all about?...

Alisha said...

I found that weird too but interesting because she is named after a month of the year. Maybe it makes "sense" to her because of that.

Faith said...

That was immediately what my mind went to, too, Alisha. (I love the name January...I thought it was a cool name for them to choose for her!)

faithstwin said...

I think it's also interesting to know her IQ, at age 6, is 146. THAT is remarkable.

Remember when I was all nutso in elementary school and one of the things they gave me was an IQ test? I remember it well- but mine turned out VERY average. It has always stayed that way.

I guess one of the things they do is give IQ tests to mentally off kids. Her IQ may explain quite a bit, actually. She's got a brilliant mind and maybe needs the outlet for it. Like Jodie Foster's kid in Little Man Tate.

Faith said...

Yes, I remember that "nutso" stage in elementary school, Twin. I had to go with you to the shrink throughout that period, although I cannot figure out why. I think you were just overly creative during that time. Maybe. Can't really say.

I'm glad I'm not that smart. I'm also glad I'm not schizophrenic! Maybe, if I hadn't been a twin, I might've wound up with more issues...who knows?

Ms. Pants said...

I was IQ tested for the smartypants program in the 3rd grade. PB wanted to do an IQ test on me when I started seeing her as well. Mine went up one point in all those years. She said it was indicative of a properly administered test. The scores apparently don't change more than 1 or 2 points over the course of one's life if the tests were administered properly.

And not "if the testes were administered properly" which is what I had originally typed and is far funnier.