Tuesday, September 08, 2009

It's a running theme, dammit.

Two things are going on this morning...

(a) The blue ball has gone missing again. This is unusual and worthy of note because it was behind the picture of Leo's brother when it disappeared, and that has been the aforementioned "safe place" for us to keep it up till now. Usually, when we put it back there, nothing fucks with it. So we have no idea what's going on. I had noticed that the picture of his brother seemed to be inching it's way closer and closer to the edge of the bookcase it's on top of, and I finally mentioned it to Leo yesterday while we watched the Florida State game. I asked him if he'd moved it forward like that, and he said he hadn't. I told him I was afraid it might fall, so we should push it back, and that was that. (Both of us were too lazy to actually get up to move the photo, so it stayed where it was, precariously close to the edge of the bookcase.)

Then, before I went to bed, I looked at the photo as I passed it, and noticed the ball was gone from behind it. ::sigh:: Jeffers is such a smart ass. It still hasn't reappeared as of this morning. I have no idea how long it's been gone from being in it's "safe place". I can't remember the last time I looked back there and saw it over the last few days. So there ya have it...no place is sacred! The blue ball is in fair play wherever we put it, apparently. I'll let you know when it shows back up again. Although I can't imagine how it can pop up in a more unusual place than behind a sliding glass door in a bookcase, really. I keep wondering if I'll find it in the toilet when I raise the lid. Or in the freezer when I go to get some ice for my tea.

There were other things happening last night, too, all of a sudden. Just stuff that the paranormal experts refer to as "auditory phenomena" but it's a jump in activity all the same. We were eating dinner when we heard a sudden *THWAP* noise in the kitchen that sounded like a magnet had fallen off the fridge to the floor, or a spoon had been dropped on the stove. We searched and searched, but couldn't find the source of the noise. Later, I was in putting the leftovers into containers, and I heard a tap tap tap tap tap tap, over and over, and it sounded like it was coming from the living room, so I asked Leo to stop it (because it was annoying), and he said he wasn't doing anything, and as we started to talk about it, it had stopped. It sounded like a really loud drip. Very odd. (Hmm...I wonder if the blue ball is in the attic? If it were being bounced up there, it would make a noise similar to the one I heard, I'd think. Maybe I'll have Leo check up there if it doesn't show up today.)

But that was that. And then I noticed the blue ball missing, so I guess the auditory crap made more sense at that point. I'll tell you what...soon as one of us gets touched, or something, I'm moving to the White Haven Motor Lodge, dammit. I'm not scared of this crap that's currently happening, but it seems to be slowly building up, is the thing. I really, really don't need to be touched. I'm pretty sure that's where my threshhold for getting straight up freaked out would be reached. I've never been touched by an entity before, though, so I can't say for sure. I guess we'll just hope it remains on this playful level, really.

Ok, on to point...
(b) (Parts of this are going to sound bad and incredibly selfish, but bear with me if you start reading it, and it should all be explained accordingly if you can get through this first part...) Leo and I are taking our remaining vacation time this year and heading back to California to see my dad again. He's being awesome about it. I feel terrible that every time we take a vacation, we have to head home to visit my family. Given, at least I'm from southern California...it's not like I'm dragging him to the fucking arctic circle, or something. But we haven't seen his family since Christmas. And we haven't seen a few of his friends since the freaking wedding! We were planning on visiting them in November, but my older sister called me over the weekend and recommended that I go home again. I texted my brother to get his take on it, and he also recommended I go home. To be honest, I was still a bit torn. I love visiting home...I really do. I want to see dad as much as I can right now, obviously. But the trip there takes 7 hours from Kansas City...it wasn't so bad back when Midwest Airlines had a direct fight into LA, but now that no flights like that are offered anymore, we have to fly through somewhere to get there. Also, flying there isn't bad really...the excitement of seeing family and being in California again always outweighs the travel issues (like flying out at 6 a.m. - oy.)...it's the flight back that's more of a pain in the ass. Leaving at 10 a.m. and not arriving back in KC until 8 p.m. really sucks. And my last trip home was kind of sucky, travel-wise, so that left a bad taste in my mouth, sorta.

But this will be different, because Leo was able to move his vacation up to just 3 weeks from now, so I don't have to go alone. And I was able to find really decent prices on flights through Priceline on American , so that helps, too. Our whole trip will cost significantly less than the one we were planning in November, since we won't have hotels and gas to worry about. But still...I feel bad. Like the in-laws probably hate me for keeping their son away from them thanks to all my family stuff that we have to tend to. They're reasonable people, so I know they understand the circumstances...but I still feel bad all the same. And I shouldn't...I know that. But emotionally, my quota has been reached at this point. So very small things tend to break me down and make me feel badly these days.

It's been a very tough year, and between the emotional strain of dealing with dad's illness and slow decline, and then dealing with the other random and relatively small issues I have that have managed to pop up several times over the past few months, I'm drained. And it makes me tired. And the tiredness contributes to a level of apathy that makes the emotional aspect of certain situations even harder to manage.

Let me just say for the record that keeping moving, with a smile on my face, has been very, very hard. I'm trying to combat it with workouts, and vitamins, and happy television...but it's just HARD.

So that is what's up with me. This week is starting out all weird, and funky, and I kinda wish I could just crawl back into bed again.

Oh, and one last thing: I tried watching that Rachel Getting Married movie over the weekend, and it is just awful. Truly, a terrible fucking film. Given, I'm not into rough, emotionally heavy, difficulty-laden material in films right now anyway (see above comments about being emotionally drained), but I tried giving this movie two chances. Leo couldn't stomach it when we tried watching it last Wednesday, so I shelved it to the weekend and tried watching it again by myself on Sunday. UGH. The shakey camera work, and the absolutely insane plot line...horrible. Terrible film. The acting was pretty good. But it would have to be in order for them to make one of the most depressing movies of all time. Seriously, if you're feeling at all down, and/or you get seasick easily, do NOT watch this movie. Jeezy chreezy...bad.


justquirky said...

Could you ask Jeffers not to touch you? I'm not an expert on paranormal stuff, but maybe just telling him you aren't comfortable with it would help? Good luck!

Ms. Pants said...

I've been touched by ghosty things. It can be no big deal and it can be terrifying. Sounds like Jeffers (did I miss how that name came about?) is more playful than malicious so it would most likely be a tag-you're-it type thing, which is not on the terrifying end of the scale.

However, and this is something I've told many people who worry about the ghosties.... You are in control of your space and you get to dictate when things hit the borderline and need to back the eff off. I always recommend leaving out an "offering dish" for your visitors. Put things in it that you think they'd like. The blue ball, like. Shiny things. Buttons, change, etc. Maybe a flower here, a piece of fruit there. It helps with the happy-vibe. And make sure you send out that "Do not touch me, please" intention. Like even say, "Hey Jeffers, we're cool with you here but please just don't touch me physically--that would wig me out. But this dish is for you--all yours, buddy! Have at!" It sounds nuts, but it's worked almost every single time.

Faith said...

I think that's a good idea, Ms. Pants. I mean, he obviously feels that the ball is basically his now, so why not add more fun shit to the plate for him to feel is his? Good call.

(I contacted a psychic when we first experienced random activity - which was pretty much all in the kitchen at the time - about 2 1/2 years ago. She told me that she felt it was an older male energy that was trying to let me know that he was aware of my emotional tension - I was planning my wedding at the time - and he was there if I wanted to talk. Opening my mind to his presence and talking to him made the activity stop. She told me she felt his name was Jeffy, or Jefferson, or Jeffers...and we picked Jeffers because it was our favorite name out of the ones she suggested. I have no way of knowing if that's even close to what he was ever called.)

I don't mind sharing our space with Jeffers at all, and I try to express Leo's discomfort with all of the activity as best I can in hopes that it helps. I think he must see the reaction he gets from me (giggles and smiles), and wants to keep doing it, because he knows how down I am all the time lately. But yeah, I need to make sure he knows that he needs to respect that the space we live in is OURS, and not his anymore. I just don't want to make him sad!

We had elementals in the house when he first started with his activity all that time ago, but I don't feel their presence anymore, so I think they moved back out of the house, thank goodness. They were dark. I didn't like them. (They were earth/nature elementals. I think they were mad I had to tear down a tree to build the new addition.)

faithstwin said...

I'm happy you are coming to visit again and supah happy Leo can come this time, too.

I'm gonna go hang with Dad while step Mom is visiting her Mama today so I'll let you know how the past couple days have treated him if I see any difference.

Alisha said...

We completely understand but I am making a pouty face because I was really excited to see you guys!

I really hope the blue ball is in the attic. That would be hilarious. Will Leo even attempt to look for it up there?

Faith said...

I dunno, Alisha. (And I'm so sad we won't be coming up in November! I was really looking forward to seeing you guys, dammit.) I actually was wondering if maybe Leo snuck it out to the trashcan and didn't tell me. But he seemed flustered and freaked out, as usual, so I don't think that was the case. I'll find out if he's willing to check the attic later, if it hasn't shown up while I've been at work.

If it IS in the attic, I know for sure he won't go up to get it!