Thursday, October 22, 2009

Warm and fuzzy? Um, no. Bitchy and prickly? HELL yes.

I just want to start off a relatively random post with the fact that you men out there? You who don’t already appreciate the fluctuation in hormone levels women have to go through every month? The ones who think that we’re just bitches/moody/unreasonable human beings every once in a while just because? The ones who I wish could take birth control in order to prevent pregnancy in their relationships so they could deal with the fun that is supplemental hormone ingestion?

You guys can all step the fuck off. Ok? Yeah, you heard me right. I’m in a FOUL mood if ever there was one, and whether it is tied to the incredible (read: disgusting) evening I had with Leo and one of his childhood friends on Monday night, or to my birth control hormone levels this week, I don’t know for sure. But I can damn well tell you that I am NOT a warm fuzzy person this week. Nuh-uh.

And before it happens, this is not a request for suggestions on new birth control I should try, or anything like that. So please, keep the comments snarky, funny, or to yourselves on that subject, hm? I like the funny…please BRING ME THE FUNNY!!!

On to some recent observations and shit I’ve been wanting to “chat” about…

Anyone else watching Cougar Town? That new show on ABC with Courteney Cox in it? Because it really is entertaining. I think my favorite parts of it are when she sees her neighbor outside, and goes running over to have a conversation with him, always opening it by calling him her “paper buddy”. But I also love her ex-husband. And her fucking GORGEOUS boyfriend. And her assistant. Oh! And her kid.

Aw hell…I love it all!

The thing that bothers me, though, is what the hell happened to Courteney’s face? Is it her teeth? It seems like it’s her teeth. Like, they’re fake, or something. It’s like she has some of those fake teeth in her mouth that those creepy little girl beauty pageant contestants wear to make them look more grown up, or whateverthefuck they’re used for. Regardless, it’s disconcerting, and while I love the show, I really want the old Courteney Cox back, dammit. (Oh, and if God is reading this, can I please be blessed with a body just like hers while I sleep tonight? It’s been long enough with the current body I have, thanks. Time to switch it up a lil’ bit, man! TIA.)

Side note: did anyone else know that was how she spelled her first name? It is according to IMDB, anyway. Weird. I had no idea it wasn’t just “Courtney”. Hm. (All my show links have to come through IMDB today, rather than from their actual websites, because my internet at work is being very selective on where it lets me go today. For instance, no Google, but Blogger is fine. No ABC, but IMDB is a-ok. It's a weird day. I think I need to crawl back into bed now...)

We are also watching the new Modern Family show that’s on ABC, right before Cougar Town. We love the shit out of it, too. I like to think that I’m most like the fatter gay guy, and Leo is like the redhead gay guy. You know, if we had to be characters from the show. I mean, I’d LOVE to be like the lovely transplant from Colombia, married to Al Bundy, who looks like she slid off a mudflap, as the lovely character played by Julie Bowen observed in last night’s episode, but let’s be real…I’m more like a fat gay dude than a gorgeous Colombian on most days, and you all know it. Anyway, it regularly makes me laugh heartily, and that is all that matters. Try watching it if you haven’t already.

Movie-wise, here are my latest picks that I would suggest: 500 Days of Summer - awesome movie, awesome soundtrack…loved it!; Year One, which is ridiculously stupid, and perfect for kicking back and watching with a bowl o’ popcorn, and a beer or glass of wine, or whatever; I Love You Man, which is similar to Year One in my perception of it's silliness, except a little bit less on the ridiculous side; Management, which was a random Jennifer Aniston/Steve Zahn comedy that was totally worth putting on the Netflix list…we really liked it!; New In Town, which is effortlessly silly, thanks to the stereotype that IS Minnesota. Even though the ending was a little corny and contrived, it was still a good movie for an otherwise might-be-boring night. We’d recommend it.

Movies I would NOT recommend: I had to watch He’s Just Not That Into You on the plane ride back from California at the end of last month. I think I’d rather have dealt with 3 hours of severe turbulence, and being surrounded by crying babies*. It SUCKED. Just was absolutely terrible.

So, to wrap up, try to avoid passing any kind of negative judgment on women because we’re only like this due to the hormones, watch the shows/movies I recommended, and burn all copies of He’s Just Not That Into You (the movie) that you can get your hands on. Ok? Ok.

*Alright, I’m not THAT crazy, but the movie did suck a whole lot. I was just trying to find a way to impress upon you all the amount of suckage that is involved in it, is the thing. Hope that worked!


faithstwin said...

I completely agree with your warning on the movie He's Just Not That... yeah, I care so little about it I don't even want to finish typing out the title. It is truly one movie I wish I could get my money back after renting.

I've started recording the later playing of Ghost Hunters and watching Modern Family and Cougar Town. I completely agree with your assessment of The Boyfriend- he's so frickin' hot!

Hormones kicking your ass, eh? I'm having a decent amount of luck with that st. john's wort stuff. I've noticed I've mellowed out a bit. Otherwise? I got nothin'.

Ms. Pants said...

Um, hello! I wanna hear about the gross evening!!

I've noticed the extra vowel in Courteney Cox's name lately too. I don't get it. Has it always been like that? I don't think it has. And is she still Court[e]ney Cox-Arquette?

Please tell me you watch Glee. Seriously, I look forward to it each week. (Insert Gleespot joke here.)

Faith said...

We don't watch Glee, no. I record a bunch of stuff on Wednesday nights, and Glee lost out! The twin might be on to something there with the recording the later showing of GH, so I can record Glee, though. Hm. I'll look into that. I'd forgotten they repeat later!

I don't know if I can talk about Monday night, unfortunately. I've been thinking about it all week, because it was so utterly disturbing to me. And the grossness/disgustingness was based in the childhood friend's behavior, not in any activity we took part in. I'll say this much: after spending the evening having dinner and drinks with the guy, I was disappointed that Leo ever asked him to stand up in our wedding as his best man. After Leo got home and told me about the rest of the evening they had after I'd left, I know for sure that (a) I hate that his name is on my marriage license, and (b) I don't care to ever see him again. He's pretty much a letch. And I don't whip that term out for everyday use, so you KNOW it must've been bad!

floydfixx said...

Totally agree on Courteney Cox's face in Cougar Town. Though, I think it's something more like injections that freeze her face from showing emotions. Her BFF has the same face-freeze thing going on, too, I think, although I noticed it when she was on Scrubs. Oh, and she has had the extra vowel since Friends.

Also agree on (500) Days of Summer... love that movie. Would recommend Inglorious Bastards, probably best movie I've seen lately. Glad you liked Management, it's on my Netflix. Maybe I'll move it up.

Maine said...

If women are like this due to hormones, and that's forgivable, doesn't that mean men are forgiven for making penis-driven decisions, being ruthlessly competitive and refusing to nurture since we're like that due to testosterone? I demand equity in my hormone forgiveness.

Also? I love Al Bundy.

Faith said...

Nice wrap-up to your whole comment, Maine. Well done. (And yeah, as long as you guys don't mind hearing us girls mutter "Men!" in an exasperated way on a regular basis, I feel it's a pretty equal trade off.

But don't you DARE try to do the whole "Women!" thing right back. Oh, HELL no.


floydfixx, we haven't seen the Inglorious Basterds thing yet, because of all the subtitles. Leo has a hard time with subtitles, due to his severe dyslexia, so we'll add it to the Netflix when it comes out, and likely watch it separately so he can pause it as much as he needs to. :) I can't WAIT, though. I've heard so many good reviews on it.

Layla said...

Loved inglorious... Awesome, awesome movie... Also have to say Zombieland was freaking hilarious!.. Course, I love zombie movies (I'm weird like that) but even some of my non-zombie lovin' friends loved it. Definitely worth a looksee ;)

Faith said...

I dunno...I might see the Zombieland movie when it's out on DVD. It DOES look funny. :)

The only movie I want to see in theaters that's coming out soon is Men Who Stare At Goats. Looks freaking awesome.

Nuke said...

You want funny? How bout tragically funny. Or just plain tragic and weird but mad me laugh (yeah I'm goin to Hell).

"The bear, who was wearing ice-skates when the incident occurred...."

Krissy said...

I tried to like Cougar Town - WANTED to like Cougar Town. But I don't. /shrug.