I'm on a thin line between wanting to be goofy and silly, and barely having the energy to talk. Last I heard from the Twin, dad had declined to a point where he's no longer responding to anyone, except when they flipped him on his side to put a sheet underneath him (which will make it easier to move him, so the bed can be changed frequently), and his eyes got wide with fear at what was happening.
He hasn't been able to keep anything down since last Friday, apparently. He tried to eat a little on Saturday, and when I spoke to him at about 9:30 or 10 a.m. his time, he sounded really very good! I feel so lucky that I got a hold of him then, because ever since, he's been slipping fast.
The food isn't staying down, and his organs are failing. He told someone that was visiting him that he was going on a trip. And I keep thinking about that, over and over and over. And I hope the journey he has is short, painless, and has my mom and his brother there waiting for him!
When we spoke on Saturday, he told me that he was glad I was happy. He thinks Leo is a great guy, and I agree. He did tell me, though, "You tell Leo I said he'd better treat you good, or I'm coming after him!" I laughed, and reminded him that it was Leo that we needed to worry about in this relationship, because I'M the evil one, dammit. And then I said that even though our family is only made up of me, Leo, and the puppies, it's a damned good one to have, I think. He agreed.
I wish I'd told him how much I appreciate everything he did for me. I wish I'd told him that I learned so much from him, and feel strong because of it all, and can't thank him enough for the values he instilled in me. I wish I'd told him that I'm glad that I've inherited so many of his traits, because it makes me feel like a better person when I try to behave like him.
But I try to console myself by thinking that he already knows all that. He has to. He is DAD, after all! They know everything. :)