Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Dad is doing ok. His breathing is rough most of the time, and he had a couple of coughing fits that left him in a lot of pain while we were there, but that’s par for the course, and the thing that surprises me the most is how well he hides it from us while we’re there. We go to bed much earlier than he does, though. And we also tried to get out of the house and give him and my step mom their privacy on a regular basis while we were there, so it makes sense that we just don’t happen to see the worst of the trouble he’s going through a majority of the time. I guess.
But we were able to spend a lot of quality time together, and watch football, and other t.v., and have little chats about random shit. It was nice. I can’t help but feel a bit in the way of the routine while I’m there, though. Visits are always nice to be able to do, but I hate feeling like we’re messing with the normal schedule by being there. I really hope my family understands that I can’t keep doing that…going home and saying goodbye. Dad and I are on a good level with each other. So that was our final weekend together in person, I think, unless he makes it through Christmas by some miracle. (I wouldn’t put it past him, btw. He looks good, and seems to be doing well still. But looks can be deceiving I guess. I’m not going to put any false hope on those looks…at least, I’m going to try not to, anyway!) And I’m ok with that reality. The emotional turmoil that those trips home cause internally for me just get worse and worse, and I can’t keep doing it. This doesn’t mean that I love my father less than anyone else in the family, of course. It just means that I’m drained. It happened with mom, too. I don’t like what it does to me, mentally, when I get drained like that. I need to feel this grief as it happens this time around. I’m not as resilient as I used to be, like I was when mom died, I don’t think. So feeling it as it happens is more important to me this time around.
Not that I expect that to make much sense to anyone outside of my head right now, but I needed to write it, anyway. Sorry!
Now I’m back at work, trying to wake up and be chipper and mellow while getting over the minor jetlag I brought in with me today. At least it’s a short week. Thank goodness!
Friday, September 25, 2009
If one seat is broken, and the rest of the passengers are seated happily and ready to go, does it make sense to make the rest of the plane wait for maintenance to fix that one seat? I'm gonna say no. (Especially since its not my seat that's in question.) We're currently waiting for maintenance to get here to look at ONE seat. Ugh. It is in the exit row, so maybe that makes a difference? I dunno.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I just had to go learn how to unpack and repack Leo's wound in his back from the cyst that absessed last week, and had left a 1 inch hole in him at that time. Thank goodness it's down to about a 1/2 inch long incision, and only about a 1/2 inch deep, near as I could figure, but DAMN. Da-a-amn. GROSS. I am NOT cut out for the nursing thing! I think I need to go ahead and turn in my safety marshal whistle for work now, because that was damned tough to do on my husband, and the wound isn't even seeping or anything any more.
Thank goodness there are people out there that can handle seeping wounds! That actually like seeping wounds, and can stuff gauze in them until the cows come home! And if they don't make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year for looking at, touching, squeezing, and then stuffing gauze into seeping wounds, then goddammit, they should.
I only have to deal with this thing every other day until we come home from vacation, so I shouldn't have to look at it more than twice, but still. [Insert grossed out face here] Leo should be damned glad that thing is on his back, and he doesn't have to look at it as they stuff gauze into it. ::shudders::
Ok, done talking about this now. Sorry...
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Yesterday, I was pointed in the direction of this story about a 6 year old schizophrenic. Her name is Jani (short for January), and she and her family live in the LA area. As I read through the story about what Jani has developed into since birth, and what her parents have gone through in trying to get her diagnosed and then properly medicated and cared for, I realized that my life really is cake. It is CAKE compared to what people like this have to go through!
Not that I ever think otherwise, really. I know I have things easy, comparatively.
It's times like this...what I'm going through right now with the family and my father and everything...that even make me consider things like how good or bad my life is, and how easy or hard I have it on a daily basis. And it's hard to describe because it's not until I get up, and get moving each day that my brain starts to work against me. But by then, I'm already up and moving. It's not like I can stop the process once it's already started! So I shower, and then I put on makeup, and then I choose an outfit and put it on, and then I go to work. And the day just rolls along.
But some of those days feel like they're being performed in a jar of molasses, all covered in a slow-moving, sticky goo that makes it hard to breath, like Monday was. And then some days are just...normal. I might be more tired than usual, and require an extra dose of caffeine when I get to work, but otherwise, it's not all bad. Like today. Today is good, so far.
And I know it's all relative...the difficulties we face and have to deal with shouldn't be compared to other peoples' difficult issues, because really, we'd deal with whatever is handed to us accordingly, I bet. But I can't help but look at stories like that one, and think to myself, Holy HELL, you need to snap out of it!
Is that wrong of me, do you think?
Monday, September 21, 2009
The vacation this week is us going to see my dad again. Before he dies. So, yeah. Take me with a grain of whateverthefuck you want this week...I appreciate the suggestions and help with the last post (which I tried to write in a lighthearted and upbeat manner...FAIL.), but just know that any grr-ness that comes from me this week, or any other week in the near future, is not because of anything anyone says, really.
It's just me. I'm having a hard time dealing with me right about now.
Because what I'm going through...what my family is going through, what Leo has to go through, hell, what my dogs have to go through...is not fair. It's not fucking FAIR. And I'm just not reconciling very well with that concept, it seems.
My heart and head is full of so, so, soooo much right now that it's hard to be normal, is the thing. So maybe I should stop trying. I think I need to just let it all out somewhere, so this might wind up being that place for a bit. Bear with me through the changes. Hopefully, I'll be back to my normal self sometime next summer...
I started thinking that maybe we could just stay at the Marriott up there by the airport the night before, get "free" parking while we're gone, and be that much closer to the airport in the morning, so we wouldn't have to get up until maybe 4:30-ish instead of 3 a.m. that morning.
But it costs about $130 (without taxes and stuff, so more than that, really...) to stay the night there, and I don't know if that's worth it to save myself the extra hour and a half of sleep, and hassle of parking in the econ lot, you know?
Fuck, I could park in the terminal lot for only $90 total, and that'd be cheaper than the hotel night, and I wouldn't have to deal with the shuttle crap.
Hm. What would you guys do if you were me? (And believe me, I tried to find a later flight than the 6 a.m., but it literally added on another $100 per person to take one at around 10, or whatever. Not worth it.)
UPDATE: I should have been more clear in my question, I realize now that some of you are giving me your opinions...I have 3 options: Drive to the airport the day of, and park in a terminal lot for $18 per day; drive to the airport the day of, deal with the shuttle sitch out of the econ lots, and pay $5.50 per day; or stay at the Marriott the night before, wake up an hour and a half later than we would if we had stayed home, and park for "free" which really means for the cost of one night's stay which is probably abouty $150 total.
I'm leaning toward the terminal lot option right now...not for sure, though...
Saturday, September 19, 2009
I'm PISSED. And I'm trying to calm down, but I have to say, its hard. Got some food, and that helped, but still. Wtf is wrong with everyone? "We don't get the crowd that gives us a need for that package," they say. If you DID have it, you WOULD get that crowd, you morons!
I might try the Granfalloon. I seem to recall them having it once upon a time.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Shhhh! You guys!
I'm a bit tipsy. But I realized a few minutes ago (probably about an hour ago in real time...I'nm working in drunk time, you see...) that I never made a post today!
Sorry. But I was busy. I was all wondering about what to have for lucnh....
Wait. Should I let this post with all the typse? Or should I correct the typos as I gfo? I'm DRUNK. So I shoukld publish WIHT the typose, yes?
God, I wanna watch Roman Goliday right now. Ugh.
Anyway, so I was busy today. I got all caught up with what my lunch should be. and then I finaly wenmt to get my lunch, ans it tuernd out to be a mustard sammich fromSubaway/ (you guys are smart, so I know you'll fiugre out what I'm supposed to be typing, as if I'm sober, so no worries...ecept for the D. Sorry, Darrin! Good luck, man!) which was more disappointing trhan I realizxed it might be. And I LIEK mustard. So, wahtever.
Anyway, I fogt my lunch, and then I got back to the office, adn it's like the rest of the dfayu FLEW by! I had to leave early to deal with a thing thatn Leo hasd going on...iots a cyst on his lopwer back,. if you must know, and it SUCKS. Shshhhhh...he's asleep right now. And he needs it, ok? Becuas it was BAD./ It was all infected, and thank goodness we got it taken care of in a good amount of time, bwecausehe \started acting all weird, and shit...
This is starting to seem like a Flight of the Conchords song now,... Hm.
Anyway, that took up the last couple fo days of thought for me. Al;iong weith the wondering about where we can watch the USC game on Saturday (Tanners on Wornall, in casea nyone is wondering. They have mini corndogs!) and other things.
I'd bettern go back to watching t.v, now. Becayusde this isn;t exacty helping my stellar Admin exterior I've been putting forth this far, eh?
Good LORD, I'm fucked up! Ok, off to bed with me. Have a great weekend, everyone!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
So take, for example, that photo of the face I caught last week, which I think reflects our ghost Jeffers mugging for the camera? Here is the shot as uploaded originally from the camera without any zooming:
So much clearer and easier to see, I think! (And how could anyone be afraid of a ghost that looks like that, eh? He's so loveable, I wanna just pinch his happy cheeks!)
Same thing with that picture of Jake looking all cro-magnon and jacked up while sitting on the deck, observing the yard a couple of weeks ago...here is the original picture I took:
For the record, here is my cute, curly-haired, happy puppeh...
Cute face! Cozying up with mama and Iz! So cute! So really, WTF is going on with his face in that photo of him on the deck? Hahahahaha! I love the underbite. LOVE.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
This worried me. I had gotten a little tipsy on beer and port wine as I watched football, but I didn’t seem to have any problem remembering that I managed to clean up properly after the celebration orgy that took place in the living room.
Or did I?
Ok, ok…there wasn’t any celebration orgy. You guys know me too well! There was a lot of hopping about quietly and silent clapping after USC managed to beat Ohio State, but that was about it. (I had to keep my celebrating quiet since Leo was already in bed. Oh, and his team lost their game, so celebrating my tough win would have been just plain MEAN. And I’m not like that all the time, ok? I swear.) The puppies wanted to come out and go to the bathroom after that, and so I let them out, and then we all went to bed.
About 4 a.m. rolled around, and Izzy was doing another dance out in the living room. Fuck, she needed to go out again! So I climbed out of bed, and let her and Jake out (it doesn’t matter how deep asleep he might be…you open that back door, and he’s out like a shot!), and then I went back into the bedroom and shut the door, resigning myself to whatever damage might come of it. (They tend to get dewy and really wet from being outside in the middle of the night/early morning, so I have to dry them off before they can come back to bed, and all of that just sounded like a hell of a lot of work at that hour. Work I was NOT in the mood for. So closing the bedroom door was my solution.)
About 30 minutes passed, and then I heard Iz whining at the bedroom door. So I headed out to the living room to dry them off. Izzy whizzed right past me, and jumped onto the bed. Her paws were soaked, but she hates being dried off, and I think she was trying to avoid me, but she just succeeded in pissing me off. I grabbed her and carried her out to the living room. I got her paws dried off, and then asked Jake to come to get on the towel. He just stayed where he was on the ottoman. Ok, fine…I wasn’t in the mood for fucking around – 4:30 a.m. people!!! – so I took the towel over to him and dried his face and paws. (He’s like a sponge…it’s SUCH a pain in the ass. But he’s cute, and apparently he’s the missing link, so we gotta be nice to him regardless.) When I finished drying him off, I abandoned him in the living room. He sleeps out there all the time, which is fine with me as long as my couch cushions stay in tact.
But when Leo asked me what had happened the night before, sounding like he found me in a tub full of cherry Jell-O with nothing but a pair of boy shorts and pasties to cover me after the orgy had cleared out, I was genuinely worried. “Why? What the fuck happened???” I replied in a sleepy haze.
“Well, there was a dead rabbit in the living room,” he said.
“Ooh nooo! I’m so sorry! I had no idea there was a rabbit in the house! Fuck…was it gross? Did you clean it up already?” Yes, he had cleaned it up, but he took pictures first so I could see it before he disposed of it. (I haven’t uploaded those, and I don’t plan on sharing them anyway, since EW! DEAD BUNNY!) I looked at them when I woke up, and there it was…right below the ottoman that Jake was so quietly and contentedly laying on just a few hours before when I went out to dutifully dry him off, like the good mommy that I am. Dude, my foot was right next to it, but I had no idea it was there. Sick...SICK. The fucking dog brought in a rabbit he had killed by apparently snapping its neck! (There was no blood, thank goodness.) GAH! GAAAAAHHHH!
Poor Leo. That’s the 2nd dead bunny he’s had to dispose of this year, although it’s just the first one that he’s ever found in the house. I found one, too, I reminded him, except it turned out that the one I found was just playing dead, but still...he has no argument over me when it comes to the number of creatures he’s had to deal with since living in our house. I’ve had the squished squirrel, and the baby bunny that was playing dead, and he’s had two bunnies. Who were totally dead, and not squished in any way, so he can shut the fuck up with his whining.
Yes, we use the dead animals we’ve had to clean up as leverage against each other…what of it? I asked him to get up and let the dogs out last night as we lounged on the couch, and he was all, “Um, dead bunny! Helloooo!” And I told him that he can’t use that one, because we’re basically even now. He’s pissed off about that fact, apparently, and I think he’s wishing a small woodland creature Armageddon on me now, but I don’t fucking care. It was his turn to get up and open the door. Nyah.
::sigh:: Men. Such big fucking babies, you all are. ::rolls eyes::
Monday, September 14, 2009
Or maybe it's just funny to me and Leo because it's our dog. (Kinda like how parents think their kids are the funniest, smartest, cutest kids anyone has ever seen, but...they really aren't.)
(Not any of your kids, though. All of you actually DO have the funniest, smartest, cutest kids. For real.)
I think it's fucking comical. I like comical. More people should do the comical thing, I think.
Friday, September 11, 2009
On Tuesday, Leo got up, ate some breakfast, puttered around a bit, and then started dusting. And then he noticed that the framed photos on top of our bookcase were all in a kind of odd formation...
Anywho, that freaked him out.
And then Wednesday, the ball still wasn't back, and nothing happened at all while we were both out of the house, so that was nice. (Except we didn't have the ball back, so that still sucked.)
But then I got up yesterday, and my toothbrush holder was on the right side of the sink. I keep it on the left side of the sink, so that was weird. (I put it back, and it hasn't moved again.) I checked with Leo before I left for work (he had Thursday off this week, because he had to work the holiday on Monday), and asked him if he had moved it for some reason the night before? No, he said. I told him the blue ball had shown back up, and then headed out the door.
Last night, we had a chat. He seems to think that I'm encouraging all this activity because I laugh at it, and find it amusing. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, though. It's not like I can fake being upset by it. I'm not upset by it. It's just silliness, as far as I'm concerned. It's not like anyone is getting hurt, for pete's sake.
I don't know. I feel bad, but I don't know what to do. This time around, it wasn't as amusing as it was the last few times, so instead of laughing out loud when I finally saw it had reappeared, I just sort of sighed and said, "Thank you! I was wondering when you'd put it out!" in an exasperated kind of way, really. He needs to put more time in between the ball stealing, I think. And he needs to take less time with bringing it back! Because when it's gone for 2 days, it really drives me up the wall. I cannot stop watching for it everywhere in the house. It's no way to live, if you ask me. I liked it better when he moved it from the ottoman to the window while we were in the kitchen for a couple of minutes. That was funny.
I'm not really looking for suggestions on this...you guys have all been really good with them so far, anyway. I don't mind Jeffers in the playful state he's in, and unless things got drastically worse (i.e. chairs on top of tables, or either me or Leo getting scratched, or he steals my black bra, or some shit), I don't feel that any kind of cleansing is necessary, per se. I just wanted to keep y'all in the loop. The crazy, fucked up loop that is our life in a haunted house. ::sigh:: Not like that's new or anything. (I'm surprised I went as long as I did without a ghost, to be honest!)
Glad it's Friday, that's for sure! Have a great weekend, everyone!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
I found it in our kitchen on Sunday. WHAT IS IT?
Anyone know WTF it is? (And don't be smart and just say "spider" because duuhhh. I want to know if you know what fucking planet it's from, for chrissakes!)
I did what any other cool person would do, and ignored it, and it went away eventually. Leo wasn't home, so it wasn't like I was going to TOUCH the damned thing. I mean, lookit! It's a fucking minion of SATAN, for cryin' out loud! You just have to give those kinds of things space (after taking sufficient blog pictures) and then ignore them until they disappear to their own hole in the ground, or crack in the wall, or lint ball they came forth from.
Was that a mistake, though? Will we eventually get bit, filled with it's evil magic serum, and turn into a puddle of former flesh that it can eat and grow from, becoming bigger than our house and then rampaging the city looking for cars to crush, houses to stomp, and people to feed off of? Let me know, and I'll...have Leo look for it.
Ok, first of fucking all, I posted that comment weeks ago. I don't even remember what I wrote, except that it was unfavorable overall, and I think I gave the couch 2 out of 5 stars. But I can tell you for sure that when I write reviews for products, I do not cuss, I do not get beligerent if I didn't like said product, and I follow the damned guidelines and terms of usage agreements. I want to HELP people with my reviews, not get snarky, FFS. Our couch didn't live up to what we needed it to. It's our only couch, so it's not like we only sit on it when company is over...we're on it for a good 6 - 10 hours, depending on the day. We told this to the salesperson who sold it to us, and asked if it could live up to two 200 pound people sitting on it all the damned time. The salesperson told us it would be a great couch for years to come. The fabric is decent, so I'll give it that. But while we like our couch, we don't love it. And we need to love it...we live on the damned thing, for pete's sake! The cushions need to be rotated every other day, it seems like, and we've only had it for 3 years. It shouldn't have to be like this, is how I feel. If I'm paying $1700 for a couch, the fucking springs had better not be poking into my ass 2 years into ownership, mkay?
There isn't really a second of all, now that I think about it. Just an expanded thought on the first of all, which is why the hell are they denying the posting of the comment now? WTF? It's literally been at least 2 months since I discovered that C&B had the option to post reviews, and then posted one of my own. (I was bored that day...it filled the time.)
In looking at the latest reviews, it looks like they have another dissenter at the top of their list! (Who has similar complaints to mine, actually...) I wonder how long it'll be before that review gets the shaft, too?
I responded back to their email to me in a similar manner, and hope it doesn't get dropped into some random black hole of customer service replies. I don't know if I will hear back from them before winter arrives, but I thought I'd go on record and say that this definitely put the nail in the Crate & Barrel coffin for me. I won't be purchasing their shit again, if this is how they treat customers. Fuck that shit...I think I'm going custom made on my next sofa, dammit.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
The bank was very excited about offering me this program, under the guise of trying to help me owe them less in interest over time. Really, I think they’re looking forward to the $395 fee they charge for me choosing to pay my mortgage this way, as well as the $1.50 per transaction they apply in order to charge the debit to my account every 2 weeks. Yeah, because THAT must be tough on them. ::roll eyes::
The only problem was that I wasn’t sure if they count the payment I made at the end of August toward my September payment owed, or if they count the one in September as the September payment. (I like making things difficult and convoluted in my head. It’s a fun place to be…you should totally try it sometime.) Because, while they will start the auto-deductions at the end of September, they advise that I still need to make my September payment for my mortgage amount due for that month.
They wouldn’t have said that to me if they knew I’d already paid for it, right? Well, shiiit. I dunno!
So I call and get a lovely customer service rep on the phone relatively quickly, and I ask him whether that payment I made in August counts toward September like I think it does, and he confirms that it does, and all is well in the world.
But oh-ho! He is not done with me like I am with him. He thanks me for taking advantage of their biweekly payment program, and congratulates me on making a good decision to finish paying my mortgage earlier than the 30 years scheduled, and yadayadayada, bullshit bullshit…
Then he asks if he can ask me a question? “Sure…” I said tentatively. I knew what was coming, but I didn’t want him to get taken out back and beaten before being sent home without his full day’s pay of rupees, or whatever. So I listened as he told me that since I am such a wonderful customer (oh, stop ::blushing::) and I pay all my bills on time, they will be sending me a credit card that is platinum, and I can get money back based on my purchases, and it will have a very good purchase limit…
“No…I appreciate the offer, but no thank you.”
Oh, but this card they are sending me (why does he keep SAYING THAT?) has 0% APR, on all transferred balances, too. This always gets me…I really, really wish that the bank that has my mortgage isn’t reputed to be even WORSE than BofA when it comes to credit issues, or I might just take him up on it.
But no. Not interested. I tell him as much, and wonder how they can base their opinion of me being such a wonderful customer on just 3 month’s worth of mortgage payments, but ok…if they wanna run their business that way, its fine with me! I specifically tell him, “I do not accept that offer, but thank you for mentioning it!” And then we finish up and I’m finally free to get off the phone.
I have to say that it’s nice that SOMEONE still thinks I’m a good customer worthy of lovely credit offers that they trust me to be good on in this day and age. ::gives sideway glance to BofA’s credit department and their nasty, nasty agents who need to get out more, dammit::
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
(a) The blue ball has gone missing again. This is unusual and worthy of note because it was behind the picture of Leo's brother when it disappeared, and that has been the aforementioned "safe place" for us to keep it up till now. Usually, when we put it back there, nothing fucks with it. So we have no idea what's going on. I had noticed that the picture of his brother seemed to be inching it's way closer and closer to the edge of the bookcase it's on top of, and I finally mentioned it to Leo yesterday while we watched the Florida State game. I asked him if he'd moved it forward like that, and he said he hadn't. I told him I was afraid it might fall, so we should push it back, and that was that. (Both of us were too lazy to actually get up to move the photo, so it stayed where it was, precariously close to the edge of the bookcase.)
Then, before I went to bed, I looked at the photo as I passed it, and noticed the ball was gone from behind it. ::sigh:: Jeffers is such a smart ass. It still hasn't reappeared as of this morning. I have no idea how long it's been gone from being in it's "safe place". I can't remember the last time I looked back there and saw it over the last few days. So there ya have it...no place is sacred! The blue ball is in fair play wherever we put it, apparently. I'll let you know when it shows back up again. Although I can't imagine how it can pop up in a more unusual place than behind a sliding glass door in a bookcase, really. I keep wondering if I'll find it in the toilet when I raise the lid. Or in the freezer when I go to get some ice for my tea.
There were other things happening last night, too, all of a sudden. Just stuff that the paranormal experts refer to as "auditory phenomena" but it's a jump in activity all the same. We were eating dinner when we heard a sudden *THWAP* noise in the kitchen that sounded like a magnet had fallen off the fridge to the floor, or a spoon had been dropped on the stove. We searched and searched, but couldn't find the source of the noise. Later, I was in putting the leftovers into containers, and I heard a tap tap tap tap tap tap, over and over, and it sounded like it was coming from the living room, so I asked Leo to stop it (because it was annoying), and he said he wasn't doing anything, and as we started to talk about it, it had stopped. It sounded like a really loud drip. Very odd. (Hmm...I wonder if the blue ball is in the attic? If it were being bounced up there, it would make a noise similar to the one I heard, I'd think. Maybe I'll have Leo check up there if it doesn't show up today.)
But that was that. And then I noticed the blue ball missing, so I guess the auditory crap made more sense at that point. I'll tell you what...soon as one of us gets touched, or something, I'm moving to the White Haven Motor Lodge, dammit. I'm not scared of this crap that's currently happening, but it seems to be slowly building up, is the thing. I really, really don't need to be touched. I'm pretty sure that's where my threshhold for getting straight up freaked out would be reached. I've never been touched by an entity before, though, so I can't say for sure. I guess we'll just hope it remains on this playful level, really.
Ok, on to point...
(b) (Parts of this are going to sound bad and incredibly selfish, but bear with me if you start reading it, and it should all be explained accordingly if you can get through this first part...) Leo and I are taking our remaining vacation time this year and heading back to California to see my dad again. He's being awesome about it. I feel terrible that every time we take a vacation, we have to head home to visit my family. Given, at least I'm from southern California...it's not like I'm dragging him to the fucking arctic circle, or something. But we haven't seen his family since Christmas. And we haven't seen a few of his friends since the freaking wedding! We were planning on visiting them in November, but my older sister called me over the weekend and recommended that I go home again. I texted my brother to get his take on it, and he also recommended I go home. To be honest, I was still a bit torn. I love visiting home...I really do. I want to see dad as much as I can right now, obviously. But the trip there takes 7 hours from Kansas City...it wasn't so bad back when Midwest Airlines had a direct fight into LA, but now that no flights like that are offered anymore, we have to fly through somewhere to get there. Also, flying there isn't bad really...the excitement of seeing family and being in California again always outweighs the travel issues (like flying out at 6 a.m. - oy.)...it's the flight back that's more of a pain in the ass. Leaving at 10 a.m. and not arriving back in KC until 8 p.m. really sucks. And my last trip home was kind of sucky, travel-wise, so that left a bad taste in my mouth, sorta.
But this will be different, because Leo was able to move his vacation up to just 3 weeks from now, so I don't have to go alone. And I was able to find really decent prices on flights through Priceline on American , so that helps, too. Our whole trip will cost significantly less than the one we were planning in November, since we won't have hotels and gas to worry about. But still...I feel bad. Like the in-laws probably hate me for keeping their son away from them thanks to all my family stuff that we have to tend to. They're reasonable people, so I know they understand the circumstances...but I still feel bad all the same. And I shouldn't...I know that. But emotionally, my quota has been reached at this point. So very small things tend to break me down and make me feel badly these days.
It's been a very tough year, and between the emotional strain of dealing with dad's illness and slow decline, and then dealing with the other random and relatively small issues I have that have managed to pop up several times over the past few months, I'm drained. And it makes me tired. And the tiredness contributes to a level of apathy that makes the emotional aspect of certain situations even harder to manage.
Let me just say for the record that keeping moving, with a smile on my face, has been very, very hard. I'm trying to combat it with workouts, and vitamins, and happy television...but it's just HARD.
So that is what's up with me. This week is starting out all weird, and funky, and I kinda wish I could just crawl back into bed again.
Oh, and one last thing: I tried watching that Rachel Getting Married movie over the weekend, and it is just awful. Truly, a terrible fucking film. Given, I'm not into rough, emotionally heavy, difficulty-laden material in films right now anyway (see above comments about being emotionally drained), but I tried giving this movie two chances. Leo couldn't stomach it when we tried watching it last Wednesday, so I shelved it to the weekend and tried watching it again by myself on Sunday. UGH. The shakey camera work, and the absolutely insane plot line...horrible. Terrible film. The acting was pretty good. But it would have to be in order for them to make one of the most depressing movies of all time. Seriously, if you're feeling at all down, and/or you get seasick easily, do NOT watch this movie. Jeezy chreezy...bad.
Friday, September 04, 2009
Not as blue as LeGarrett Blount might be feeling right about now...
...but pretty damned blue all the same. (Get it? Blue? He lost to Boise? Hahahaha! I love a good pun.)
Boy, he clocked him good, eh? I see some difficult times ahead in that young man's future, for some reason. Maybe some anger management seminars and classes, at the very least. But yeah...sports might not be the best place for him, after all.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
I've been wearing comfy (and cute! Gotta keep it cute, dammit...) skirts and dresses all week, thanks to the quarterly period that's currently visiting, and thank goodness for the cooler weather that's been allowing me to layer, particularly today. Even though my quick change that I did the 2nd time around, right before my carpooling neighbor pulled into the driveway to pick me up (which is made evident to me each week thanks to the super-handy Carpooler Alarm I had built into Izzy when she was born...it's amazing! She barks as he pulls into the driveway, and so no matter where I am in the house, I know when he's arrived to pick me up. No honking necessary!), wound up being a bit less layered than it should be, I think. I needed a different slip under this dress. The one I have on worked for the shorter dress that I had on at first. Now it just feels like I have a layer on that's too skimpy for the end resulting outfit. Not that anyone other than me knows that fact, but when you have your quarterly period, that kind of issue is just the thing to bring you to a random crying attack when you least expect it.
Being a girl is fun.
I appreciate the option of having my period only 4 times a year...I honestly do. It may suck ass to be me or to be around me for a couple of weeks, but it's only 4 times a year instead of every month! That's gotta be helpful, in some regard, I'd think. You'd have to ask Leo to be sure, but since he doesn't have a blog, you just have to trust me. I'm pretty sure it's helpful, though. From my viewpoint, it is!
All this useless rambling is brought to you by the letter P. And the fact that today is the start of college football season, and I'm so fucking excited, I could shit a rainbow. WOO!
Now, as you were...
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
So here's the latest that concerns Jeffers and the Blue Ball:
Sunday, I was doing laundry, as per usual. The puppies were following me all over the place as I moved about gathering the items to wash, and I was chatting with them, like I do when they hang out around me for whatever reason they do. (I think they wanted to go on a walk like we did on Saturday morning. But I had too much to do around the house on Sunday morning...so no walk.)
I noticed that Izzy was suddenly looking into the bedroom at something, and following it with her eyes. Jake noticed, too, and laid down in the bathroom door to watch whatever was in the bedroom. (For the record: nothing was in the bedroom. I was the only one home at the time.) Izzy barked, and wagged her tail. I was finished with loading the laundry, so I asked them if Jeffers wanted to play? We walked out into the living room, and I took the blue ball down from its "safe place" behind the picture of Leo's brother in the living room. I figured Jeffers was feeling frisky, and I was up for his antics while Leo was at work, so no harm, no foul.
The ball was in play all day while I hung out with the puppies. Leo came home and saw that it was out, and I told him why, and he didn't say much, so I figured it was ok with him that we were playing with it. (Again, he is very uncomfortable with what happens with the blue ball. I know it's kind of assholeish of me, but I keep hoping that the more we have the blue ball move about on its own, the more used to it he will get, and will start to loosen up about it. My plan isn't going all that well, but I can keep hoping!)
It was right before bedtime that night when I noticed it was gone. Last I remembered, I had thrown it down the hall for Izzy to run after, she went and fetched it and took it to a chair, where she laid and guarded it from Jake, and then she and Jake tousled for a bit, and forgot about the ball, and that was that. It was gone.
So we looked for it before we went to bed. Leo found a kong that had been missing for a while under the couch, but the ball wasn't there. He even had the flashlight to help him look under all the furniture. Nothing. I figured maybe I missed it when Jake carried it outside. He checked on Monday, but it wasn't anywhere in the yard, or under the deck.
Seemed like Jeffers got it!
We looked all over for it yesterday. When I got home from work, I started looking in drawers and shit, just to see if Jeffers was getting more creative with his hiding places. I looked in the fridge, the pantry, my chest of drawers in the bedroom, the closet…everywhere.
But it was nowhere to be found.
Leo was confused, and really doesn’t seem to understand what happens to the ball when Jeffers takes it. My personal opinion is that it is not on this same plane with us when Jeffers has it. When it’s moved to a windowsill or a random piece of molding on the cabinetry in the kitchen, it’s not like it’s floating through air in the hand of a ghost when it’s being placed there; rather, it’s taken to another “realm,” if you will, and then brought back to ours in its new position. For some reason, Jeffers wanted to play hide and seek yesterday with it. I even called out “olly, olly, oxen free!” at one point. But it still didn’t reappear.
Until this morning, when I was taking my vitamins after breakfast, and I noticed the blue ball in a new spot. It was in our bookcase in the living room. Behind a sliding glass door. I chuckled a fair amount, and went over to see if I wasn’t seeing things. (It looked…fuzzy…at first. I think I was catching it as it happened, to be honest.) Sure enough, there it was!
I got my camera and snapped a couple of pictures, and in both the close up shots, I caught some sort of mist-looking thing that could have been glare, but I’m not sure really. Anyway, I took a couple of far away shots, too, just to show the case I’m talking about. Here it is (in the bottom left-hand corner, next to the "Dog Bible"):
Can you see what I'm refering to in that picture above? If not, here...I've circled his head. I see two eyes with rather bushy white eyebrows, a nose, and a mouth in a closed-lipped smile gazing back at me. I think he has a white beard.