Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Kleenex, I'm going to have to ask you to explain yourself. ::taps foot expectantly::

I have become very close to Kleenex over the past few weeks. Closer than I ever thought possible. And I thought Kleenex and I were pretty good pals prior to now, to be honest. But these past few weeks have gone to show me that I'm a fool - A FOOL - if I thought we had been anything beyond mere acquaintances before this cold I currently have in my head!

The thing is, the cold is almost gone...but the runny nose remains as a cruel reminder of what the cold once was. ::sigh::

Boxes of Kleenex like to confound me about halfway through themselves, is the thing. I buzz through the box, using a good 20 - 40 of the suckers a day, minimum, and inevitably there is a point each day, depending on where I am in the box either on my desk or next to my couch spot or on the sink in the master bathroom, where I reach what I believe must be the middle of the Kleenex box. It used to scare me, because it seems like you're suddenly out of Kleenex. And unless you have the backup box handy and ready to go, it can be a frightening moment to those of us who have a habit of sneezing into a hastily-grabbed Kleenex, or who have (apparently) perpetually runny noses.

And then I have to reach into the box, and maneuver the next Kleenex from it's tightly wrapped position around the remaining roll/wad/whatever that's in the bottom of the box, trying not to rip it, because that pretty well ruins the Kleenex experience, if you ask me. I like my Kleenexes whole, goddammit, and if they can't be whole, well then...there might be some snot in some places I didn't intend for it to be. If I have a whole Kleenex, I'm good to go. Anything less than that, and I have to be careful and cautious with my sneezing and/or blowing. And we can't always be cautious and careful, ok? Sneezes can attack you in a very sudden and violent fashion, so I need my Kleenexes to be on my side in that kind of fight!

Ugh. My nose hurts. ::sniffle::


Layla said...

LOL... OK, that just described my morning EXACTLY... *sigh*

faithstwin said...

Maybe you should switch to the rectangular boxes instead? Those just lay flat in the box, no balling up. Otherwise you may have to be the mother of invention on the issue, get rich on your creation and all the world will be at peace.