Monday, February 08, 2010

Blinded by sushi, I'd imagine.

How desperate do you think you'd have to be to think that climbing into the wheel well/landing gear of a plane is a good way to get from point A to point B?

Ok, first off, you must have some level of intelligence to be able to get down to the part of the airport that even allows you access to that area. Right? So why can't a person who might think, for a fleeting moment, "Hey, I know how I can get to Tokyo from NYC! The landing gear!!!" be able to put two and two together and realize that is NOT such a good idea after all?

I can see them thinking that a cross-country flight might be doable, even after plenty of cognizant thought on the matter. But a flight from New Tokyo? In FEBRUARY??? Hello, yes, you are gonna turn into a human popsicle, ok? A human popsicle with limited access to breathable AIR.

So, really, unless your goal is death, it just is not a generally good way to travel, from what I've read. And if your goal IS death, then there are easier ways to do it, man. You can buy razor blades anywhere these days. Or maybe you can find a tree on a remote road to drive headfirst into at a high rate of speed. Or jumping off a bridge...nothing to even purchase, there! The walking is free, as is the jumping. (As long as you do die, that is. If you survive a jump, there are all kinds of fines and shit I'd imagine you'd have to pay for, so the $2 razor blade option might be the best bet if you're going for a cheap route on death.)

I just don't know how this sort of thing keeps happening. Not that it happens a lot, but when it does, it's just a bit of a surprise to me, is all. People can be so weird. (Like this guy? That walked into the Blue Moose yesterday during halftime of the game? He was wearing jeans and some sort of dress, and a coat over it all, and he walked into the bar, made his way over to the jukebox, and started playing with the touch screen. Then the bartender paused the jukebox, since we were listening to the game and didn't want music to be played, and he walked away from that and over into the dining room, where he took a moment to stare at the blue moose they have mounted above the fireplace. And then he caught on to the fact that management was about to kick his ass out, and he left. And rode away on a bicycle. No matter that it was snowing out. People. Are. Weird.)


faithstwin said...

Maybe he saw you walk in wearing your tiara and thought, "This is the place for me!" =P

I say the stow away WAS dumb enough not to check into what the consequences are to riding in such a compartment. This is what I don't get- if I am sitting next to the window, I am looking out of it. There wasn't one solitary passenger that didn't see that guy dash under the plane and not come out again? I guess they would have to assume that dasher would continue thru to the other side and can't very well get up to go see for themselves. But it's like smelling smoke before you take off... NOTHING is too ridiculous to call an attendant for.

"This plane is missing a phalange!"

Faith said...

I don't tend to look out the window much when I'm waiting to take off, personally. I wouldn't have seen him, I don't think!

And har har har about the tiara thing. I didn't look THAT crazy, asshole. :P Someone thought that the dress-like thing he was wearing might've been a snuggie. We weren't real sure. ::shrugs::

faithstwin said...

A SNUGGIE!! OMG. I wish the Moose had cameras and would release the video from that.

I'm calling you right now. WTF am I supposed to do with all the meat you sent!? lol...