Thursday, March 11, 2010

Ooohhh! I get it now!

Bwahahahahahahaha!

In case you aren't interested in clicking on that link, I just learned (via the Fug Girls, in a random aside on their post about Sigorney Weaver's Oscar outfit) that Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for their latest "Milka-whaaat...?" commercial. For ONE HUNDRED MEEELION DOLLARS to cover her pain and suffering.

Um, honey. Honey Lindsay child. C'mere. ::puts a gentle arm around Lindsay's sad, saaad shoulders:: First of all, you're being a little ridiculous. You kinda have no legs to stand on here, sista. Because - and I know this may come as a shock to you, but - most of the world thinks of you as a loser, bat shit crazy, party-your-ass-off, bi-sexual dumbass who is drunk and high pretty much all the time. It doesn't matter how often you go through rehab, m-kay? It's like that person who captivates me every time I happen to see Mean Girls playing on TBS or what have you just simply doesn't exist anymore. And I'm ok with that, really.

And until I saw this lawsuit, to be honest, I didn't even remember the name of the baby. I never even thought about a connection being there, much like the ladies on The View mentioned. Maybe your "friends" made the connection, and mentioned it to you, and that in turn made you all sad face and sour puss over the whole thing? But again...see above about how most of the world thinks of you, sugar. Mm-hmm...it's that whole past (and likely the present, let's be honest!) comin' back to haunt ya thing that your agent might've warned you about a while back!

So now that you've made an ass of yourself to the point that the women on The View are making fun of ya...maybe it's time to crawl into a hole, and just stay there for a while. There's this rather nice-looking one in the Adirondacks for sale, and it could be perfect for you...

3 comments:

Ms. Pants said...

Right? I haven't even seen the commercial. She's inadvertently drawn enough attention to eTrade that they can probably afford her stupid lawsuit now, though she'll never win.

I kinda hope the judge laughs in her stupid, stoned face.

I miss MeanGirls LL. This pod person animating the skeletal remains of LaLohan makes me want to vomit in her eye sockets.

Faith said...

The View clip in that link played the whole commercial in it. It's so funny!

And I miss that LL, too. She looks more and more like her raggedy mother every time I see her photos these days, and her mother looks like a jerkified meth addict that's WAY beyond her prime, so that's not good! I can't believe the girl isn't even 25 yet. Or is she? I just remember being shocked by her age when I hear it, but it's been a while...

faithstwin said...

I read this on TMZ earlier this week and had a great laugh. I missed the name of the baby and didn't remember it so I watched it too... I love that 'milkawhaaa?' combined with the baby boy's face in the background.

She won't have a leg to stand on in court and she is just digging her hole deeper and deeper.