Friday, May 28, 2010

I'm all about length right now. ::sexy eyebrow raise::

Ok, first things first. This? stupid. Don't do shit like this, ok?

Now, on to important things. Did you all know I was growing my hair out? 'Cause I am. For reference, this is what it looked like about a year ago...
I haven't been growing it out all this time...I only decided to maybe back in January, or so. And I've considered giving up and going back to short because growing out hair is hard sometimes! (Hey! Maybe that's what's causing all my headaches! :D

No? Fuck.)

But anyway, I had it colored last night, and had the bangs cleaned up, and didn't really have anything to post about today, so I came up with the groundbreaking idea to show you all the efforts I go through to be pretty.
I prefer the shorter bang with my longer hair. I had grown my bangs out between last May and February this year, but I just love 'em so damned much, I had them reinstalled. I think I look younger with them cut in. My hairdresser agrees with me, and she's known me for, like, a gazillion years, so I'm pretty sure she knows what looks good on me vs. what doesn't.

(I was just looking those pictures over again, and DAMN. I am pale. Wow. Good thing I like pale, though.)

I'm planning on growing the hair out to about my boob level. And then maybe putting in extensions to thicken it up a bit. That's a long way off, though, so I'll update again when I get there.

Hair is fun. :D

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

AC on the fritz? Good luck getting a pro to help this week...

I thought this article was rather timely today. Leo called our Heating and Cooling guy on Monday, and still hasn't heard back from him, and he lives down the street from us! Our AC has been making some really weird noises since last week, and we figured it was time for a tune-up anyway.

Leo went and got new filters yesterday, and when he went in to replace the current one, he noticed all kinds of build up of dust and nasty in the works of the system, so he just cleaned it all out himself. Took a vaccum, and went to town on it! And when I got home last night, it sounded much, much happier, and hell if I wasn't actually cold after a bit with the thermostat set at 74, even! So it seemed to have worked. I think he saved us a good $100 - $150!

Anyway, if you're having any issues with your AC making weird sounds, or not being able to cool your house efficiently during this random heat spike we're having right now, try changing your filter, and making sure your furnace is clear of dust and gook. It might save you a bit of cash in the long run!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Um, today is TUESDAY, not Monday. Sheesh!

I couldn't decide what I wanted for lunch today. Nothing that was coming to mind sounded particularly fabulous, so I finally decided, at about 11:30, to just go out and drive until I came across something that worked for me. Or until I got desperate enough to just settle for a salad from the salad bar at the supermarket again. That's always my fallback lunch.

So I pull away from my office, and as soon as I'm on the busy street alongside my office building, a big ugly BUG lands on my arm. I freak the fuck out immediately, like ya do, and shook it off onto the passenger seat. It climbed around in a daze for a moment, but then started flapping it's wings again!

I pulled over into the first parking lot I could safely get to, screaming all the way at this bug and telling it to stay the FUCK away from me, and then I got out and opened both the driver door and passenger door, hoping it would fly away.


Okaaaay, so my next step was to pull an ice/snow remover thingy from the trunk (I was driving Leo's car today while mine is at the shop, so it didn't have any of the handy-dandy napkins or other waveable materials that my car always has in it for occassions like bugs in places they shouldn't be) and went to find the bug sitting on the oh shit handle* on the passenger side of the car. The ice/snow remover thingy happens to have a handy brush on one end (because sometimes, it's not about clearing ice, but moreso about clearing fluffy snow from the windows), so I used that to help usher the bug to the outside world where it fucking belongs.

I checked everywhere, and it looked like the little dude had finally gotten the point, and left. So I closed the doors, and continued on my random drive to nowhere specific. I got the idea for the Blue Moose's smoked turkey cobb as I drove down the street a ways, so I called them and ordered, and then headed in that direction.

Meantime, I'm still glancing around, making sure that the car is still bug free. (Seriously, there are few things I have a bigger phobia of than being trapped in a small space with a flying bug. It's just one of my own personal nightmares, for some reason! Hell, I have issues with flying bugs when I'm out in the open air! Being stuck in a car with them = certain freak out for Faith.)

I get to the Moose in Leawood, and pick up my salad, and head back to the office. On my way there, that fucking bug comes out of NOWHERE, and buzzes past my hand into my face. I, again, freak the FUCK OUT, except now I'm getting very mad and almost crying at the same time. (Honestly, it's hard for me to properly express the fear/hate I have for flying bugs. Crying is a mild reaction, basically.) I flapped my hands around me to try to keep it from wanting to be in my area (because next to citronella, I would think that large, flapping, hard objects would be one of the main deterents to bugs, really), and hope that people around me don't think I'm having a seizure. I lost track of the bug, and thank GOD my signal changed and I was only about 100 feet from my parking lot by then, but a damned runner got in my way, so I was literally screaming "MOOOOOVE!" at him through the windows that I had opened in hopes that the outside air would attract the bug to it...

And then I felt the bug on my leg. Like, up my pants, you guys.

I don't think there are words to express how hard it was for me to drive, scream, try to stay calm enough to find a parking spot, and then LEAP out of my car almost all simultaneously once I felt that mutherfucking bug up my goddammed pant leg.

I had managed to shake it out, thank goodness, and then I went to TOWN killing it with the brush end of the snow remover thingy.

I'm pretty sure it's dead now. But I'll check again to be sure before I drive home today.

Then I came inside, unloaded my salad only to find that the server that packed it for me had conveniently forgotten to give me dressing for it. Awesome. (I gave her a decent tip, too! Stupid bitch...)

So I went down to our cafe to ask for whatever dressing they might have, and apparently, the dude in front of me had a problem noticing my whale-like presence behind him in line, so he stepped backward onto my foot before he figured out he wasn't alone in line. I screamed, he apologized, the counter chick came over to help me and asked me if I was ok as I muttered, "Could this day SUCK any more?" She gave me some dressing, and I returned to my desk to eat my now crappy $11 salad.

On top of all that, I am having an incredibly difficult day at work. Mostly due to my own idiocy, which doesn't help the matter much.

I'd like a do-over, please!

*If you don't know what an "oh shit handle" is, the definition in the Urban Dictionary might help: The handle in most passenger vehicles and trucks that is located in the interior of the vehicle above the door. So now you know. :)

Monday, May 24, 2010

Candygram. Oh The *other* kind of 'gram'.

Just had my first mammogram.

::sobs quietly, pitifully to self::

I treated myself to a Mochi Yo when I was done, because I think that's how it should be, dammit. You have to have your boobs violated by a big, scary, painful machine? You get a frozen treat afterwards. Just as simple as that.

Especially on a day like today, where it's 90 degrees out (reminder, Mother Nature: it's MAY, not August), and my AC in my car isn't fucking working. So, sooo pleasant.

The mammogram tech was a nice lady, though. She's jealous of my reduction I'm gonna get. She said she didn't think my boobs were all that bad, really! I was trying to remain chipper, so I thanked her, but told her the doctor will be taking appx 2 pounds out of each one, which I'm totally looking forward to. That was a surprise to her, really. (And actually, it wasn't until now when I'm thinking back on it that I realize how creepy our banter might've sounded to the outsider passing by. Hm. Really, I didn't take any offense to it!)

All of this chit chat happened while my boobs were being pressed into the thickness of a pancake, and then I had to hold my breath while the scan happened! She coulda warned me about that. I totally wasn't ready for it, and when you aren't ready to hold your breath, it seems oh so much harder than it would be at any other time. Anyway, the top and bottom scans went quickly and relatively painlessly.

But then I had to turn sideways, and have a different scan taken. THAT one hurt. I was all, "Ok, the first ones are pretty misleading!" And she said, "Yeah, that's why we do the other ones first. If we tried these ones first, ladies would be running screaming from the room..." Hehehehe! True. Very true. Although, it's not that I wanted to necessarily go running through the halls topless, or what have you. But damn, the way it pulled my skin brought tears to my eyes!

Everything came out normal, though. So I'm free and clear to get my surgery in two weeks! YAY! Only 14 more days to go...

Apparently, they aren't so good with the customer service skills.

A few weeks back, I ordered a new table and chairs from West Elm for our back deck. I've been wanting to replace the ailing furniture out there for a while, but prior to the construction on the house a couple of years ago (good god, has it been so long? Wow!), we had a big cable line and electrical line running right over the deck, so umbrellas were an impossibility prior to us moving those lines.

And then after we finished the construction, we were kinda poor. Which will happen after you add a crazy huge bathroom and closet onto your house! So we kept the old furniture that we had out there, and just made due by refinishing it, and stuff.

But now we're good to go, with a bonafide savings account, and everything! So I'm free to buy the deck furniture that I've always wanted. We need a table out there in the worst way. But since we only have a one-car garage, storage options for wintertime are slim. So we bought this set from West Elm, because the chairs are stackable!

See? We bought the set in the chocolate color, and then I bought a white umbrella...

...and the cushions will be in "steel" color:

We actually received the cushions, and the umbrella cover, and the bench and stuff, a couple of weeks ago. But the table and the umbrella and the chairs hadn't been sent yet. So I contacted West Elm last week, and got all that straightened out. They're so nice!

So on Wednesday, I was contacted by the freight company that receives furniture for West Elm, and we set up a day for the delivery to occur. Their first availability was on Saturday. Fine...sounds good. So they tell me someone will call me the day before my delivery to set up a 2 hour delivery window. Great!

Someone called me on Thursday, actually, and we set the time for delivery to be between 3:30 and 5:30. Meh...not my optimal time window, but I want my furniture! So happy to finally be getting my furniture!!!

Saturday rolls around, and Leo and I have all day to do stuff like sleep in, and work out, and get some paint supplies to fix a wall we had patched this last week, etc,'s hot out, too, and I discover that my car apparently needs it's AC serviced, so I call and make an appointment for that, and then I shower leisurely, and have a quiet afternoon, really.

But the window for the furniture delivery came and went, and no one showed up with our stuff. And Leo and I are usually at the Moose by 4:30 to meet our friends, so we're already an hour off from that schedule, so I call at 5:35 and leave a message at the delivery people's place of business. (Which is closed on Saturday. Of course.)

A couple of minutes later, the delivery guy calls me to tell me that they're "running behind". I tell them that we have stuff to do! We can't keep waiting around for them...when will they be there? Thinking they would say in something like 15 minutes or so.

"We think we'll be there in about an hour, hour and 15 minutes or so."

"Oh, no! No, no, no, no...I've already left a message at the office for them to call me Monday to reschedule. An hour and 15 minutes? No! Just an FYI, I am very angry right now!" I was trying not to yell, so I wasn't sure if my anger was being properly conveyed.

That dude called me back at 6:05, if you can believe it..."Ma'am, we're about 20 minutes away from your location right now, so we can bring your items if you..." I interrupted him, though, "No, sir. We aren't at home. As I told you earlier, we have better things to do on a Saturday night than sit around our house all night long. We had plans! And another 20 minutes? You must be joking! Please stop calling me." He apologized, and we hung up.

Man, was I mad!

And I haven't heard back from that damned freight company still, and it's halfway through the workday on Monday. What is wrong with these people???

Friday, May 21, 2010

There goes the neighborhood

I went dutifully to my appointment with my physical trainer this morning, even though this week has been a badass from hell that came into fruition through its carefully honed desire to KICK MY ASS.

But, since the week is just about over, I figured I could stare it right dead in the face this morning at 4:40 a.m. and say, "This is MY day, week. Just fuck off now, mkay?" Why I chose 4:40 a.m. on Friday to do this is beyond me. I think I was too scared to stand up to the week before now. And I was lost under a strong layer of desire for wine and chocolate the entire time. I was able to feed it the wine that it wanted last night, since we had a bottle left over from last weekend's purchase. (Which is weird in our house, by the way. Since we've been living the South Beach way, we don't buy wine to bring home much anymore, unless people are in town, or something. But I wanted wine last week, so gall durnit, I bought some damned wine.) But the chocolate was a lost cause. Leo offered to get me chocolate after I'd mentioned it for the eleventy billionth time last night, but by then, I'd had a glass of wine, and the chocolate seemed like it was less of a necessity thanks to that, I think. So I hunkered in and ignored the screams from my uterus and ovaries for CHOOOOCOOOOLLAAAATEEEEE!!!! (It was hard to ignore them. Not gonna lie!)

Anyway, the new Dunkin' Donuts is open now on the corner of 75th and Metcalf, as most already know, and that happens to be right in front of where the 24 Hour Fitness is at. As I pulled into the driveway for the gym, I noticed two cop cars were 69ing in the parking lot, chit-chatting. (That's what I call it when they pull up next to each other so their driver's side windows meet up. In case you couldn't figure that one out on your own...) So already, the cops have moved in, thanks to the DD. My trainer says they used to hang out there all the time back when there was a gas station in thr DD location, but I don't remember that. All I know is, those cops were sitting in that parking lot for the entire 5 - 6 a.m. hour that I was at the gym. What do they talk about when they get together like that, I wonder?

Also, as I pulled out of the parking lot, I saw a really fat dude pulling away from the Dunkin' Donuts side of the parking lot, and I don't remember seeing him inside the gym, so I'm thinking he was swinging through DD for his morning sustenance of whatever sort. I don't mind saying that I totally judge that sort of behavior. Judge, judge, judgie-judge for me! I rarely eat fast food, and I'm STILL fat, so I don't understand how anyone would want to do that sort of shit to themselves on purpose! Although, my trainer and I had just had a conversation about how she was doing a health screening for a dude the other day who had terrible cholesterol numbers...just awful ones. Through the roof! And he had no idea that his every-other-day McDonald's habit had any affect on those numbers.

REALLY??? What rock do these mental giants live under, and can I sit on it for a while? Maybe that'll keep 'em buried where they fucking belong until they can figure out how to remove their heads from their asses!

And as I pulled away from the parking lot (driving towards Quik Trip for my congratulatory Diet Coke, of course), I saw that the line for DD's drive-thru was wrapped around the building already (again, it was only 6 a.m.), it made me even more sad. And for some reason, that Diet Coke didn't taste quite as good as it usually does.

I surrender, week! You can have this one entirely, if you'll just leave me alone starting on Monday, ok? SHEESH!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Summertime...gonna need some book suggestions, please!

Last night, the full reality of The End of the Season for most of our favorite TV shows seemed to suddenly smack Leo in the face.

"What are we gonna watch now?" ::sad panda face::

"How about if we read instead?" I said. "I've got a ton of book suggestions I would love to get into!"

"You mean, just sit here and read? Sit here on the couch and read together?"

"Uh-huh. Just sit here and read. Like the good ol' days."

He didn't respond. Hm. He must not have as extensive of a list of books as I have staring him in the face!

Here are the suggestions I want to tackle, per friend recommendations:

- The Year of Living Biblically, by A.J. Jacobs (I read his "Know It All" book last year, and really liked it. Highly suggest.)
- Mind Over Mood - Changing How You Feel by Changing How You Think, by Dennis Greenberger & Christine A Padesky (Sometimes, a little self-help is necessary. And a nice change of pace.)
- Still Alice, by Lisa Genova (This is about a Harvard professor dealing with the early onset of Alzheimer's. Supposed to be a very good book.)
- The Book of Negroes, by Lawrence Hill (I think I might actually try to get my hands on this one before the others. Sounds fascinating. Sad, but fascinating!)

Any other suggestions are welcome! Please let me know what you've been reading...(Twin, I already forgot the one you mentioned, and I lost my search in Amazon. Remind me in the comments, dammit!)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Spring cleaning...anyone else do it?

I'm in full-on spring cleaning mode lately. I often get the bug to clear things out, file things away, or generally organize the mish-mosh that escapes through the cracks of everyday life now and then. But it's not until spring when I realize the drawers are filled to a random capacity, the closet is barely navigatable, and the office has gotten downright nasty with paper.

I cleaned out the closet over the weekend. The good news is that most of the "cleaning" involved me needing to move winter clothes to another closet to better accommodate the spring/summer stuff. (I generally throw shit out/donate it when I buy something new. That way, the closet stays manageable. I cannot stand hoarding clothing!) But when I go to pick out workout clothes, I find myself reaching for the same 3 outfits over and over. I really don't even know what else is in that drawer's just basically a nice cushion for the 3 pairs of pants, 3 shirts, and several sports bras I wear all the time!

(And don't even get me started on my comfy clothes/pajama drawer! I can barely get in there without threat of a comfy pants 'splosion when I pull it open! Scary.)

Speaking of workout clothes, last year, I was having an issue with finding proper replacements for the pants that I used to buy through Target all the time. I finally settled on trying some "yoga" pants through Victoria's Secret, and I actually really like them. They sell them in several different lengths, loads of different styles, and the material can totally take the beating I put it through in the fight between it vs. my thunder thighs.

It's been a year, and only 1 pair of the 2 I wear regularly has bitten the dust. It finally split on the inner thigh seam after being washed last week. (Thankfully, I found that out while I was still at home, and not while I was, like, walking on a treadmill, or anything! Heh.) But that was after many, many, many uses. So it's totally ok that it finally had to be thrown out.

The other pair that I wear every week is a pair I bought from the Gap, in hopes that it might be a good option. And they were awesome when I got them! Made from a thick material that is super-soft and very comfy. The construction seemed really decent, too...until I got home from my first workout in them, sat down on the bed to take off my shoes, and felt a rip in the seat.

That's right! After just one workout, the Gap pants totally split up the rear seam when they were slightly taxed by my ass. I sewed them back together with a little disgust and disappointment, and they've been ok since then. Until I noticed on Saturday that they were again splitting apart where I had sewn them back together. ::sigh:: Fuck those pants! (I sewed them together again, because if I threw them out, then I'd have been down to only 1 pair of workout pants, and that is not an option!)

So I just went out to Vic's Secret and bought 5 pairs of new "yoga" pants. (I keep putting yoga into quotes because I don't just use them for yoga...I use them for all workout situations. And for laying around the house as well.) They should arrive early next week. I would highly recommend them, except that it's been a year since I've ordered them. And as I've recently discovered with their undies, they change their fabrics and stuff all the friggen time. (I just bought some super-awesome undies from them that I loved back in December, and decided to replace the rest of the undies in my drawer with more like them now that I know I love them so much. Yeah, they are totally different from the way they were in December, and not in an enjoyable way. Hrmph!) So I'll have to work out in these pants a couple of times before I can properly review them.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed, though!

By the way, I don't know if it needs to be said, but just in case, I don't receive any payment for my reviews on the clothing I wear from anyone at all. I just thought I'd share. Because I have nothing better to talk about today. Unless y'all wanna hear about how fucking tired I am today. Likely due to the fact that I have my period, which I wasn't supposed to get until next month, but I went ahead and did it this week instead, since next month's was going to coincide with my surgery, and I'd rather not deal with that shit when I am on painkillers and dealing with a squeamish husband as my boobie buddy, if at all possible. I didn't think anyone would be very interested in hearing any of that, though. Right? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Perhaps you got the *bar* mixed up with Chuck E. Cheese?

First and foremost, let me celebrate the fact that Jeffers gave me back the pair of sunglasses he took last week. Saturday night, I was settling in to bed, chit-chatting a wee bit with Leo who was still up reading after I'd turned off my light. As we talked, he suddenly started pointing behind my head. I didn't catch on at first, so his eyes got bigger, and he pointed even harder, if that's even possible. So I sat up, and looked behind me to find my sunglasses set neatly on my pillow, pretty similarly to the way our remote control had been when Jeffers took that a couple of months ago. I wonder how he decides when to balance shit in a weird place, and when to put them on my pillow instead? Oh, to get inside the mind of a ghost for a day. (Not one of the crazy ones...a normal one, like Jeffers. The crazy ones scare my ass.)

But now the true subject of this post. It's a "favorite" of mine, by which I mean it's activity that needs to stop, so I'll keep on posting about it until it does, goddammit.

On Saturday Leo and I did our normal thing and went to the Moose for drinks, conversation, and random tomfoolery. For some ungodly, random, fucked up reason, at about 6:15-ish, a large group came in and sat themselves down at two high-tops in the bar area. This wouldn't have been all that note-worthy had it not been a party of, oh, 13 - 14 people...and only 4 of them were over the age of 12.

That's right. I'm totally not kidding when I say that these idiots had 9 - 10 children with them (I lost count after the first 5 wandered past my bar stool, to be honest), and the youngest was one of those screechy 2 year old types. His dad tried to pull up a mutherfucking high chair to their table for him to sit in, for some reason. Apparently, it took him putting the child into the chair and then pushing it up to the table for him to realize the kid's head was under the table at that height. ::palmface:: Really???

The servers in the area were not pleased with this turn of events. Not sure how the two that were on duty decided who would wind up being blessed with the funness (flipped a coin, maybe?), but it wound up falling on a cocktailer named Katie who is generally one of the more awesome servers that works at the Moose. She has kids herself, so she's no kid-hater like me. But still...that kind of party was ridiculously STUPID to take into the bar, and she wasn't looking forward to it.

I managed to ignore the party for the most part, until I heard the shitty music on the sound system kind of fade out, and I realized that there was a child punching in songs in the juke box. (And yep, she picked country music. ::rage::) I continued to try to ignore them all, and then the 2 year old started screeching, so I couldn't help but turn my disgusted face in their direction, and one of the adults made eye contact with me. The screeching somehow stopped, so that was good. But apparently, the children were also:

- climbing on the tables that were empty (waiting for a party that had reserved them for 8 p.m.)
- spinning around in circles out in between the tables, almost causing a busser to drop a bunch of dishes on them at one point (which I wouldn't have minded, to be honest)
- running between tables playing a modified game of "tag"

The server eventually asked the adults at the table to please corrale their children, since crawling on tables is generally a frowned-upon activity in most public locations. And while spinning in circles can be very fun, the servers and other patrons around them didn't exactly appreciate the improvised obstacle course it created around the tables. (She didn't use those words...she simply pointed out the child that was *on top of* the table next to them, and said that for safety purposes, if the children could be redirected back to their seats, it'd be great. I just like my way of saying it better, is all. ::grins::)

So what did they do in response? They complained to the manager. That's right! THEY complained. Told her that Katie was a "snotty bitch" and that they always came in to the Moose for dinner without an problems, and would never come back again after what she said to them. (Side note: um, halleluia, you fucking idiots. BUH-BYE.)

The restaurant side of the Moose had no wait when this group came in. I'm sure that had they just been patient, they could've pulled together a couple of normal tables in the more family-friendly area within a 10 minute period.

Better yet, this group needed to go someplace like a fucking Chuck E. Cheese. Or to go over to a friends' house that had a basement they could all let loose in. It made no sense for 4 adults to think they could have an enjoyable time out with 9 -10 children to monitor. Had they been focussing on the kids completely, it might've been a different story. But lets face it: that's not why they were out. They were out to hang out with their grown up friends.

I've seen this sort of thing before, with my own family actually. I have a total of 9 nieces and nephews of varying ages, so going out as a family just isn't the best option when we're together, we've found. (And we've tried...because we crazy!) Even at home, it's hard for the grown ups to all sit together for any extended period of's just not going to happen. The kids finish their food, and then they have renewed energy to bounce off of whatever wall might be suitable for the job, and then a parent needs to hop up to run and see what's making one of them cry, or someone draws something that they want to show to another parent, or 3 of the kids are leaving 1 of the kids out of their whispering and that one decides they want to go home...

It's just a cacophany of silly. Which is totally acceptable and understandable and I actually like the crazy of my own family when I'm in the middle of it! (Within reason, of course. I am the Evil Childless Aunt, after all! I have a reputation to maintain, here!)

But that's why we don't tend to take it out of the house much anymore. And when we did all go out, we most certainly didn't sit in the damned bar portion of a restaurant!

The thing is, what can you do about this sort of situation? Should the management of the restaurant/bar step in and suggest that they might be more comfortable in the family-friendly area of their establishment? (*coughcoughYEScough*) Is it better that the server speak up like Katie did, and suffer the possible consequences of Facing Up to an Embarrassed/Idiot Adult?

The overall question, though, is how do we get people like that to realize how silly they're being by wanting to take their brood out for a bar?

Friday, May 14, 2010

The seed was planted. I didn't even have to do anything to make it grow!

A couple of weeks ago, Leo asked me if I was counting down how many days left until the boob reduction at all, yet. At the time, I really wasn't. It was more than a month away...that was what I was focussed on.

But now we're down to less than a month. And I think about it pretty much every 5 minutes, if not more. So I figured out how many days are left until I can say BYE-BYE, BOOBIES!

As of today, there are only 24 days until the surgery.

Twenty. Four.

I haven't been this excited about something since my dad got his lung transplant back in February 2008. (Not that I'm comparing the two things, of course. Just the excitement levels. Hopefully that makes some sort of sense. :S)

Not one day passes at this point where I don't look down at my boobs, and wish bad things on them. And tell them (out loud, mind you), "Not much longer, you fuckers. You are GONE in less than a month!" Usually it happens when I'm stuffing them into my bra again in the morning, or looking at the weird way they squish around while I do certain arm exercises at the gym.

I have my post-surgery bras that I was supposed to buy, and one week from next Tuesday I'll owe the full payment for the surgery to my doctor. I imagine that's when we'll schedule my mammogram, too. Not looking forward to that part, dammit.

Anyway, it's coming. And the excited feelings are in full bloom. 24. Days. :D

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Well, that doesn't seem like a horrible idea at all!

Next week, my company is devoting some well-deserved time to raising money/awareness/food for our local chapter of Harvesters, as well as for a national campaign designed to combat hunger in America. Last year, it somehow fell by the wayside, and while the campaign still occurred and the food donations were still solicited, it wasn't made into the usual Big Fucking Deal that other fundraisers/awareness campaigns are usually made into.

They're apparently trying to make up for that this year. Which I have to give them kudos for, absolutely. I like how charitable my company is, really.

One of the events I saw come through the other day was noted as follows:

>Shopping Cart Race (One or more VP/Director from each organization with their Admin IN the cart)
> "Extreme Cart Makeover" (teams will receive carts two days prior to event to decorate)
> Food Toss Challenge (employees will have opportunity to toss food into shopping carts)
> Collection Barrels for food and money will be available

Prize/Trophy: "Food trophies" for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners of the shopping cart race

It was sent out to our entire management team, and I don't know why, but I just kind of ignored it, except for making the mental note that a shopping cart race with an admin in the cart seemed like a recipe for danger/lawsuits.

Then my boss got a meeting invite today for the shopping cart race.

Again, I kinda ignored it. I honestly figured there is no way our company would allow that sort of thing to happen! We may be a charitable bunch, but we tend to be awfully careful about shit happening on our property, and that sort of thing.

For example: Our group is having a picnic next week out on a big lawn we have in our building complex, so we can have a fun day that also works towards raising awareness/food/money for the campaign against hunger. We sent out two reminders to the entire Kansas City team, had several planning meetings, and already bought enough burgers and hot dogs to feed 300 people. And then the person who reserved the space found out on Monday that we cannot grill, we cannot have tables set up, and we cannot have portable seating that have legs on them out on the lawn. They suggested we serve sandwiches instead of hot dogs and hamburgers. Oh, that'd be fine...if we hadn't already bought all the meat! And no chairs? We're gonna be out there for 4 hours, FFS! ::rage::

Anyway, so I went in to heat up my lunch, and my boss was in the kitchen heating up his, too. He told me about the invite to be in the race. I told him I'd seen it...and then I asked him who was gonna be in the cart? "You!"

::shaking head, chuckling loudly:: "Heh. NO, [bossman]. Have you SEEN me? I am too big to fit in a cart! And also? What if you hit a rock or something with the front wheel, and I go spilling out onto the pavement? Dude, I would so sue everyone if that happened!" His response? "Ooh, yes! Let's do that! And then you and I can split the cash!"

I love my boss. :D

Anyway, I'm up for it, but I don't know how good of an idea this really is.

Aaaaand now the point is moot. The boss just IMd me to let me know that the admin-in-the-cart idea was nixed. Hahahahaha!

I knew the executives were much too smart to allow that to happen. I guess it's a good thing. Roadrash is pretty painful, yo...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Ok, now he just seems to be picking on me, dammit.

Want some Jeffers? I can give you some Jeffers...

Some of you might remember the crazy sunglasses incident that happened waaaay back in 2005. If not, go read here for more info.

Several years later, the next “stage” of teleportation of my personal things began, and that was when Jeffers came into full roommate status at Casa de Leo & Faith. (You can read about that here.)

The sunglasses that were the beginning of it all are actually still in the house. I keep them on a shelf in our master bedroom, where they sit in front of a picture of my grandma Evelyn, and my Grandpa Joe. They’re awesome pictures. Wanna see? Here they are! Anyway, every night as I settle in to bed, I look over at the pictures (to kinda say “goodnight” I guess), and see my sunglasses there. But last night, the sunglasses were gone. Leo had just left the room after giving me a kiss goodnight before heading out to clean up the kitchen. And I suddenly sat up in bed and yelled, “WHERE ARE MY SUNGLASSES?” He came back in pretty quickly, and I pointed at the shelf and said, “Dammit, what the fuck happened to my sunglasses? Where’d they go?” He didn’t know…he hadn’t touched them. He lifted up the frame that holds the photos of my grandparents, and looked behind it. Nothing. I looked in the top drawer next to my side of the bed. Nada.

::sigh:: Why does the ghost insist on taking my stuff? He still hasn’t given back a favorite camisole I used to wear under just about everything, and I’m sad that finding a replacement hasn’t gone well. The blue ball is still sitting in front of the photo of my parents in the living room…hasn’t moved in over a week and a half now.

I guess the sunglasses are better than a pair of scissors, though. :/ Crazy-ass ghost…

Monday, May 10, 2010

Selling things on Craigslist...

::sigh:: I was up for some adventure, I guess. Or, another way to add to the already crappy Monday I was having...YAY! ::gives Monday the side-eye::

So we're selling our current deck furniture on craigslist, right? I put it all up at about 4 p.m. on Sunday, and half of it was already gone by 7:30 p.m.

A lot of people are expressing interest in our bar that we have, as seen here in it's glory days of last year, right after we refinished it:

But then it sat out in the weather all year long since then, and it got all worn down again. We figured, what the hell? We'll ask for $50, or best offers. So we had some interest right away, and we wound up selling it for $40 today at lunchtime.

Of course, with the ease of selling items like that, there also must come a little bit o' crazy. Like the person in St. Joe (about 40 minutes north of KC, for those unfamiliar with the area) that wanted it delivered. They were willing to pay extra!

"No, I'm sorry...we won't deliver the set. Please let me know if you would be interested in picking it up."

"ya should be able too.. where are you located. and do you have any more detailed pics available?"

Oh, thanks for the craigslist etiquette lesson, random weird person. But I really don't want to deliver the set...? So I'm not gonna. Alrighty buh-bye.

And now that I'm reading that over again, do you think they meant to say, "Yeah, I should be able to pick it up."???

Oh well. I was polite in my response, and just told them that I sold it at lunchtime, so I was sorry it was no longer available.

Anyway, I'll post up pics of the new deck furniture when it comes in, hopefully later this week. Should be pretty sweet!

I walk around, heavy hearted and sad...

I have this weird thing that happens to me when idols of mine pass away. It's like they were a friend that I knew...even though I've never met them, and never even knew anyone remotely related to them! I still mourn them as if they were in my life in some way.

And I guess they sort of were, really.

Lena Horne was an amazing woman. Who overcame amazingly stupid barriers in her lifetime. She was gorgeous. And her voice was like butter, syrup, and rainbows all wrapped into one thick, beautiful, crooning masterpiece.

I feel like a piece of me died when I saw the news this morning, as I walked on the treadmill to warm up for my deathmatch with my trainer, and the picture of Lena popped up on the screen. An immediate tear came to my eye when I saw it. I fought it off until I got home, and then I cried while I laid down on the couch trying to recover from the beating I had just received, and allowing myself to be sad for the loss of such a wonderful spirit.

I think my earliest exposure to her was due to her guest appearances on shows like The Muppet Show, and the time she was on The Cosby Show. But when I was working on my vocal career in 1999, I discovered Lena in full. I sang "Stormy Weather" in one of my classes, and failed miserably, because there's a middle section of the song where the tone changes from major to minor key, and as much as I could sing along with it just fine when I was practicing with the CD, I just could not make the change work when I was performing it alone with the piano accompaniment. My teacher let me try it over and over. ::sigh:: I don't know what my block was to doing it properly, but dammit, just know that that song? Is not an easy one to sing!

She lived a long life. She did good while she was here. She will be missed!

Friday, May 07, 2010

The is difficult to ignore.

This morning on the way home from the gym (after working out on my own because my trainer called in sick, which I didn't find out about until I got there...grrr), I was having a problem avoiding birds, specifically robin red-breasts, that were just standing in the middle of the road. I came across at least half a dozen of them at different points...a couple of them by the Quik Trip, and then another one a little further down the road, and then a couple more on the streets closer to my house. WTF? Do they have a death wish? Because I really, really don't like birds, yo. I will totally hit those motherfuckers if they so desire it.

The thing is, I hate birds...but I have a weird affinity for the robin red-breasts. I blame The Secret Garden, because pretty much ever since I was a kid and read that book, they've always brought a smile to my face when I see them.

But why were they standing in the road? What is that about? I've had this issue before with squirrels, but it made more sense when it came to squirrels. They walk everywhere. Birds FLY. So, roads don't really need to be a problem for them!

I you guys ever wonder if the animal kingdom really do behave like they're made out to be in Disney movies, and shit, and maybe these birds are just having a ball fucking with us humans? The ones that weren't sitting in the road were swooping dangerously close to the grill of my car, and it was really unnerving, dammit! Just thought I'd get the public take on this kind of silliness...

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

I'm running out of bookstores to shop at!

Dear Barnes & Noble Check Out Chick,

I realize that you probably get rewarded for getting people to join your stupid book club thinger for $25 a year. I understand that it offers considerable savings to people who choose to buy all their books, and have never heard of this newfangled thing called a "library." I also understand that you are currently working, and are not on your lunch hour, hence you being behind the desk, and me in line to buy a book.

But when you have a line of 3 people waiting to make purchases, and you're the only person checking people out? It might behoove you to just get on with things, and not continue to talk to the easily-confused woman who you are currently checking out. You already sent her off to look for a proper Mother's Day gift card on the display when I was the only person in line. While she was doing that, two more people came up behind me. I'm guessing that at least one of them also had a job they were taking a break from in order to shop, and needed to get back to in an expeditious manner. (It didn't help, btw, that I spent all kinds of time roaming around looking for where you keep your damned memoirs. Had I been able to find that section, I'd have been buying more than just one book, dammit.) Luckily, she found the gift card geared toward the upcoming holiday rather quickly. Who knew it would then take her another minute and a half to figure out how much to put on the damned thing, right? Hahahaha ha ha HA.

So for you to then continue to push your stupid book club discount card on her, making her try to do math in her head right there at the check out counter, was stupid of you. Just plain DUMB. She had her head back and her eyes closed, even. While those of us in line looked on in amazement. She finally decided against it and yet you kept bringing it up which, you must not have noticed, seemed to slow her down even more. (I'm betting she's one of those types that can't walk/drive/think and chew gum at the same time.) She swiped her card, and then she stared at the key pad intensely for some reason. She then put her head back and closed her eyes again, and after another excruciatingly slow 30 seconds passed, apparently remembered what her PIN number was. She even said, "I shouldn't have made that so hard for myself, gosh darnit." And part of the problem was that you wouldn't shut the fuck up about the damned money she could have saved if she had joined your stupid fucking book club thing. I could tell that all the numbers you were throwing at her were only making it harder for her to continue to function.

How did YOU not notice it, I wonder?

So when I was finally able to approach the counter, and almost threw my copy of the new Sookie Stackhouse series at you saying, "Can I GO now?" sort of under my breath (but not really)? And then you asked me if I was a member of your damned discount club, and I said, "Nope," curtly and quickly while trying to swipe my debit card, you were able to discern that I was mildly pissed off. Good for you! I'm glad you were able to magically catch on to my tone so quickly.

I was able to get out the door with my fucking purchase before that dumbass you helped in front of me had even reached her car.

I already had to kick Amazon to the curb thanks to their useless firewall causing me all kinds of issues with some jackhole in San Diego that thought it would be cool to order $400 worth of stuff over the course of a MONTH on my account. Don't make me give up Barnes & Noble, too, dammit! The library is great and all, but sometimes, I don't wanna wait for a book to become available, for fuck's sake!

Thanks in advance for your consideration of your actual customers,

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Health Update!

I'm feeling worlds better this week than I did last. I think there are several factors to the improvements, and they include the fact that I'm taking an acid reducer every day for a couple of weeks, I'm also taking a gas reducer (in the form of Phazym), and I also gave up the greek yogurt, which seemed tragic at the time, but now that I'm able to walk around without looking 5 months pregnant? I'm sort of ok with it.

I'm trying to cut back on other dairy, too, and even bought some of my old timey favorite fake cheese over the weekend. I ate some on Sunday morning. And all I can say is that now that I've had real cheese again for the last year, or so? It would be very hard to transition back to the non-dairy stuff. I could do it, I'm sure. But damn. Real cheese just tastes good, man!

Today, I went in and got the results from the blood tests we did last week to make sure my liver and kidneys were functioning ok. We went ahead and did a fasting blood test, and I asked them to run the lipid panel, since I was planning on doing it in May, anyway. Close enough, I figured.

My glucose has remained normal.
My liver tests (AST an ALT) are showing in the normal range again at 25 and 33, repectively. They had been at 51 and 48 in February. So yeah...cutting out alcohol has made a HUGE difference, apparently! (We tend to only drink wine on Saturday night now, and I allow myself a beer now and then, but it's rare.)

My cholesterol went down 20 points, from 208 to 190. Which is in the normal range, but can still be improved, I think. Still...yay!

My triglycerides...::happy sigh:: They went from 320 down to 192. In 3 months. Again, the doctor attributed that to my diet and exercise, of course, but mostly to the lower alcohol intake. It's still high (should be below 149), but it's on it's way to a normal range again, and that's what's important, I think.

Mind you, I wasn't drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol prior to February by any means. I generally had a glass or two of wine on random nights during the week, and then would have a few vodka drinks on Saturdays when we go to the Moose to see friends. That's it. Now, we rarely drink during the week at all, and we have maybe 4 glasses of wine while we're at the Moose on Saturdays. Weird, eh?

I also got measured at the gym by my trainer last week. My weight barely budged, which is mildly frustrating. But you know what helps? The fact that I was able to put on a pair of jeans on Sunday that I haven't been able to wear since the week after I bought them several months ago. Check out these numbers!

April 1st - a.k.a. The Starting Point
Weight: 214
Body Fat: 35.8
Neck: 14 in
Upper arm: 12 in
Forearm: 10 in
Chest: 42 in
Waist: 47 in (whoah.)
Hips: 49 in
Thigh: 24 in
Calf: 16 in

April 30th
Weight: 213.2
Body fat: 35.8
Neck: 15 in
Upper arm: 12 in
Forearm: 9.5 in
Chest: 40 in
Waist: 44 in (whoah!!!)
Hips: 49 in
Thigh: 22 in (awesome!)
Calf: 14 in

By the way, do I ever eat a bagel? Yeah, every now and then. Do I ever eat a french fry? Hells yes...just had some last week, actually. But do I eat like that all the time? Uh-uh.

Do I still get nauseaus in the afternoon for no good reason? Yeah, I do. Still working on that one.

But for the most part, the changes in our diet and exercise routine have proven to make some pretty big changes for us relatively quickly here. I hate that I can't drink beer with reckless abandon like I used to, dammit. But I had that time in my life, and it's over now. That's ok with me, really. Maybe I'll start doing it again when I turn 65, so I can go out with a massive coronary, and not have to worry about getting old and wrinkly and annoying. (Ok, ok, more annoying.) Who knows?

But for now, I'll skip potatoes often, I'll keep eating salads with no dressing for lunch (I do blue cheese crumbles and red wine vinegar instead...yum!), I'll only have one serving for dinner every night, and I'll keep on working out.

Having half of my boobs removed in June probly won't hurt either, I'd think!

Thanks for all the advice and concern over the past couple of weeks, everyone! I can't believe it was something as simple as eating greek yogurt twice a week that was doing it, but it really does seem to have been the case. Crazy!

Monday, May 03, 2010

Ok, it's been 3 years now. Figure out that I don't like the phone, already.

I have a coworker who prefers to interact via the phone. Anyone else know someone like that? It's apparently a throw back to the way her company did business prior to merging with ours, and while I understand that, it's starting to get a little old. She called me this morning while I was away from my desk. I listened to her message, and then IM'd her, but she was apparently away from her desk at the time, and instead of losing any additional time on the issue, I just sent her an email that included by request, and answered her question.

Did she respond to the email in kind? Um, no. Of course not. She just tried calling me again. (Again, I was away from my desk, so I missed the call.) And she left me a message, and I bet you a gazillion bobillion dollars that she talks some more about the shit I already emailed her about, and then at the end, asks me to call her back when I have a second.


No. Just...just answer the email, yo! That's all! In fact, all that needs to happen now is for her to send new meeting invites to my boss, really. So reponding to the email would be a little silly in itself, I'd think.

Ok, I'm going to go listen to the message now. And those of you who prefer to do inane and stupid business shit over the phone? Just respect that about 75% of the population fucking haaates the phone, ok? I don't wanna chit chat with you about the weather where you are, and I don't care if you think it's faster to do shit over the phone, because IT'S NOT. I sent my email this morning at 9:30. It's currently 1 p.m., and I still don't have new meeting invites from this person. What is she waiting foooorrrr? Permission from God? Jeezy!