Monday, May 24, 2010

Candygram. Oh wait...no. The *other* kind of 'gram'.

Just had my first mammogram.

::sobs quietly, pitifully to self::

I treated myself to a Mochi Yo when I was done, because I think that's how it should be, dammit. You have to have your boobs violated by a big, scary, painful machine? You get a frozen treat afterwards. Just as simple as that.

Especially on a day like today, where it's 90 degrees out (reminder, Mother Nature: it's MAY, not August), and my AC in my car isn't fucking working. So, sooo pleasant.

The mammogram tech was a nice lady, though. She's jealous of my reduction I'm gonna get. She said she didn't think my boobs were all that bad, really! I was trying to remain chipper, so I thanked her, but told her the doctor will be taking appx 2 pounds out of each one, which I'm totally looking forward to. That was a surprise to her, really. (And actually, it wasn't until now when I'm thinking back on it that I realize how creepy our banter might've sounded to the outsider passing by. Hm. Really, I didn't take any offense to it!)

All of this chit chat happened while my boobs were being pressed into the thickness of a pancake, and then I had to hold my breath while the scan happened! She coulda warned me about that. I totally wasn't ready for it, and when you aren't ready to hold your breath, it seems oh so much harder than it would be at any other time. Anyway, the top and bottom scans went quickly and relatively painlessly.

But then I had to turn sideways, and have a different scan taken. THAT one hurt. I was all, "Ok, the first ones are pretty misleading!" And she said, "Yeah, that's why we do the other ones first. If we tried these ones first, ladies would be running screaming from the room..." Hehehehe! True. Very true. Although, it's not that I wanted to necessarily go running through the halls topless, or what have you. But damn, the way it pulled my skin brought tears to my eyes!

Everything came out normal, though. So I'm free and clear to get my surgery in two weeks! YAY! Only 14 more days to go...

2 comments:

faithstwin said...

I am happy to hear that everything is good with the existing boobs. I think there are a LOT of our conversations with passing people that a fly on a wall would probably faint because of. However, after reading Jane Eyre I have to say I am sure happy I can turn around to some stranger and tell them I think Robert Pattinson is the cutest thing since Brad Pitt got old and they would think I was strange but they would probably not linger on it very long.

As far as your other post and the West Elm madness- kudos for you taking charge after the freight company tried to hijack your saturday! I hope they call you soon to reschedule though...friggin' douches.

Spyder said...

Mammograms are a piece of cake! It's pap smears that I hate. I would take 100 mammograms for every 1 pap smears.