Wednesday, May 05, 2010

I'm running out of bookstores to shop at!

Dear Barnes & Noble Check Out Chick,

I realize that you probably get rewarded for getting people to join your stupid book club thinger for $25 a year. I understand that it offers considerable savings to people who choose to buy all their books, and have never heard of this newfangled thing called a "library." I also understand that you are currently working, and are not on your lunch hour, hence you being behind the desk, and me in line to buy a book.

But when you have a line of 3 people waiting to make purchases, and you're the only person checking people out? It might behoove you to just get on with things, and not continue to talk to the easily-confused woman who you are currently checking out. You already sent her off to look for a proper Mother's Day gift card on the display when I was the only person in line. While she was doing that, two more people came up behind me. I'm guessing that at least one of them also had a job they were taking a break from in order to shop, and needed to get back to in an expeditious manner. (It didn't help, btw, that I spent all kinds of time roaming around looking for where you keep your damned memoirs. Had I been able to find that section, I'd have been buying more than just one book, dammit.) Luckily, she found the gift card geared toward the upcoming holiday rather quickly. Who knew it would then take her another minute and a half to figure out how much to put on the damned thing, right? Hahahaha ha ha HA.

So for you to then continue to push your stupid book club discount card on her, making her try to do math in her head right there at the check out counter, was stupid of you. Just plain DUMB. She had her head back and her eyes closed, even. While those of us in line looked on in amazement. She finally decided against it and yet you kept bringing it up which, you must not have noticed, seemed to slow her down even more. (I'm betting she's one of those types that can't walk/drive/think and chew gum at the same time.) She swiped her card, and then she stared at the key pad intensely for some reason. She then put her head back and closed her eyes again, and after another excruciatingly slow 30 seconds passed, apparently remembered what her PIN number was. She even said, "I shouldn't have made that so hard for myself, gosh darnit." And part of the problem was that you wouldn't shut the fuck up about the damned money she could have saved if she had joined your stupid fucking book club thing. I could tell that all the numbers you were throwing at her were only making it harder for her to continue to function.

How did YOU not notice it, I wonder?

So when I was finally able to approach the counter, and almost threw my copy of the new Sookie Stackhouse series at you saying, "Can I GO now?" sort of under my breath (but not really)? And then you asked me if I was a member of your damned discount club, and I said, "Nope," curtly and quickly while trying to swipe my debit card, you were able to discern that I was mildly pissed off. Good for you! I'm glad you were able to magically catch on to my tone so quickly.

I was able to get out the door with my fucking purchase before that dumbass you helped in front of me had even reached her car.

I already had to kick Amazon to the curb thanks to their useless firewall causing me all kinds of issues with some jackhole in San Diego that thought it would be cool to order $400 worth of stuff over the course of a MONTH on my account. Don't make me give up Barnes & Noble, too, dammit! The library is great and all, but sometimes, I don't wanna wait for a book to become available, for fuck's sake!

Thanks in advance for your consideration of your actual customers,


faithstwin said...

Get names! Write letters!

I mean, it was mostly the stupid customer in front of you but the cashier certainly didn't help it either.

Trying to find a book Oldest needed last week took us to the ONLY Barnes and Noble within a 30 mile radius of us in Aliso Viejo. The girl was persistent about the club but I finally said, "Look, we live too far away and I already belong to BORDERS 'club' that is FREE and they send me coupons at least twice a week- AND I get rewards for using my card when I shop. I'm good without joining your whateveritis!" She then had the nerve to try and sell me on their stupid electronic reader thingy- GAH!

Faith said...

::sigh:: Seriously? God, the upselling has got to be put to rest! I almost interjected and asked if there was another register I could buy my book at, so I could GO BACK TO MY JOB sometime in the next hour.