Friday, May 21, 2010

There goes the neighborhood

I went dutifully to my appointment with my physical trainer this morning, even though this week has been a badass from hell that came into fruition through its carefully honed desire to KICK MY ASS.

But, since the week is just about over, I figured I could stare it right dead in the face this morning at 4:40 a.m. and say, "This is MY day, week. Just fuck off now, mkay?" Why I chose 4:40 a.m. on Friday to do this is beyond me. I think I was too scared to stand up to the week before now. And I was lost under a strong layer of desire for wine and chocolate the entire time. I was able to feed it the wine that it wanted last night, since we had a bottle left over from last weekend's purchase. (Which is weird in our house, by the way. Since we've been living the South Beach way, we don't buy wine to bring home much anymore, unless people are in town, or something. But I wanted wine last week, so gall durnit, I bought some damned wine.) But the chocolate was a lost cause. Leo offered to get me chocolate after I'd mentioned it for the eleventy billionth time last night, but by then, I'd had a glass of wine, and the chocolate seemed like it was less of a necessity thanks to that, I think. So I hunkered in and ignored the screams from my uterus and ovaries for CHOOOOCOOOOLLAAAATEEEEE!!!! (It was hard to ignore them. Not gonna lie!)

Anyway, the new Dunkin' Donuts is open now on the corner of 75th and Metcalf, as most already know, and that happens to be right in front of where the 24 Hour Fitness is at. As I pulled into the driveway for the gym, I noticed two cop cars were 69ing in the parking lot, chit-chatting. (That's what I call it when they pull up next to each other so their driver's side windows meet up. In case you couldn't figure that one out on your own...) So already, the cops have moved in, thanks to the DD. My trainer says they used to hang out there all the time back when there was a gas station in thr DD location, but I don't remember that. All I know is, those cops were sitting in that parking lot for the entire 5 - 6 a.m. hour that I was at the gym. What do they talk about when they get together like that, I wonder?

Also, as I pulled out of the parking lot, I saw a really fat dude pulling away from the Dunkin' Donuts side of the parking lot, and I don't remember seeing him inside the gym, so I'm thinking he was swinging through DD for his morning sustenance of whatever sort. I don't mind saying that I totally judge that sort of behavior. Judge, judge, judgie-judge for me! I rarely eat fast food, and I'm STILL fat, so I don't understand how anyone would want to do that sort of shit to themselves on purpose! Although, my trainer and I had just had a conversation about how she was doing a health screening for a dude the other day who had terrible cholesterol numbers...just awful ones. Through the roof! And he had no idea that his every-other-day McDonald's habit had any affect on those numbers.

REALLY??? What rock do these mental giants live under, and can I sit on it for a while? Maybe that'll keep 'em buried where they fucking belong until they can figure out how to remove their heads from their asses!

And as I pulled away from the parking lot (driving towards Quik Trip for my congratulatory Diet Coke, of course), I saw that the line for DD's drive-thru was wrapped around the building already (again, it was only 6 a.m.), it made me even more sad. And for some reason, that Diet Coke didn't taste quite as good as it usually does.

I surrender, week! You can have this one entirely, if you'll just leave me alone starting on Monday, ok? SHEESH!

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