Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What do you call someone who's afraid of hallways, anyway?

I'm back at work today. I just couldn't stand to be home anymore, sitting in front of the TV and trying to keep the dogs from using my chest as a ladder to the back of the couch, and having to restart my computer again because the work software interface broke down and kicked me out for a 3rd time in 2 hours. (Although I have to admit, afternoons are better than mornings for the software, for some reason. So after a 3rd restart, I was generally good to go after noon passed by.)

I'm walking pretty gingerly, though. It's funny how many regular, everyday things kind of feel different now that I have new boobs basically sewn on to the front of my body. Doors that were easy to open and close before are now very clearly moving at a force heavier than 5 pounds. (I'm not supposed to lift more than 5 pounds at a time, so pushing or pulling a door open when it's a heavier weight is painfully obvious to me these days.) When I come up on a blind intersection of hallways, or pass a corner of cubes that could have someone rushing out to get to a meeting, I have mini-anxiety attacks at the thought of running head on into a person as I move as quickly as I can myself toward the relative safety of the somewhat stationary chair at my desk.

I've also wondered if anyone is going to ask if I'm pregnant. Now that I don't have DD's to push out the top of my shirts/blouses, my stomach is more prominent, IMO. And since I've been gone for a week and a half, I'm afraid that people will notice the belly more than ever before, and think that I've got a bun in that thar oven. I've been making it into a joke with friends, actually. "Hahaha! Where the hell did that stomach come from? Damned boobs were hiding it from me all these years! Why didn't you guys tell me it was there?"

It's just weird the way clothes fit me now, is all. I'm working on getting used to it. Good thing a lot of my stuff is pretty stretchy, and my boobs didn't leave them misshapen at all. T-shirts, cardigans, and blousy shirts that simply fall a different way now are definitely my bestest friends at this point in time.I don't think any major shopping will need to occur, which is a good thing! Just new bras, when I'm allowed to wear something other than this damned therapeutic one I'm required to wear for 2 more weeks. I kinda hate it. I mean, it serves it's purpose, and holds me in place, and I like the feeling of being held in place better than being all exposed and stuff right now. Especially with the incisions still being somewhat's hard to even bend slightly over when I'm nekked without feeling like I'm gonna lose a nipple.

But you try wearing one single piece of clothing almost 24/7 (just taking it off for showers), and tell me how much you love that thing after 4 or 5 days. You won't...I guarantee it. You might just start daydreaming about burying it in the back yard, giving it to the dogs as a chew toy, or throwing it in the grill to help get the charcoals going the next time you're having a barbecue, even. You know it's good for you, but you hate it all the same.

Plus, I really cannot wait to buy pretty new bras!

I've been thinking of taking updated pictures as the healing has continued, but really nothing has changed since last week, except for the actual boobs themselves! And I'm not posting pictures of those out here, of course.

But so far, so good! At least I'm back out in the world again, where bigger and better things than just my boob situation are going on. Hopefully, I'll have more to post about soon. Because even I'm getting tired of all this. Sheesh...


faithstwin said...

Bigger and better things? Was that an intentional or unintentional? =P

We had an earthquake on Sunday night, didja know? It was QUITE an exciting 5 seconds (oldest was psyched 'cause she's missed the last 3 everyone else has felt; youngest was scared to tears immediately...) that the news then turned into almost an entire block. They literally kept the camera on the graph and every time an aftershock hit, they would see it and be all, "Oh, there's another one!"

Fun shtuff.

Heh- you didn't know you had a stomach below the boobs. That kinda cracks me up. Sorry, I know it's cruel.

Faith said...

Didn't know about the earthquake, no. Our news has been so exciting here that the local newsfeed on the bottom of the screen this morning rotated between 3 whole stories the entire time I was getting ready for work. #1 was about how KC gets to host the 2012All Star game(baseball), #2 was about some guys that harrassed some police officers on the east side in the middle of the night, and then they finally caught them around 3:45 a.m., and #3 was that the former athletic director at KU is having a news conference at noon today. Exciting stuff, no?

But I will say that we have an awesome way of turning 8 inches of rain in 2 hours and a possibly, maybe funnel cloud 30 miles from the city into a tag team event on our news stations here, so I can only imagine how well they do with an earthquake these days in Cali. :D

Oh, and the stomach thing was that hyperbole deal that I so randomly pull from my ass now and then around here. You dope. :P