Wednesday, July 07, 2010

You have 2 seconds to answer...quick, what do you say???

As I was settling into work this morning, a coworker I'm somewhat chit-chatty with approached my desk...

Coworker: Hey! How're you?
Me: I'm good, thanks! What can I do for ya?
Coworker: Well, I'm having a Pampered Chef party at my house on July 22nd...inviting all the girls. Would you be able to come?
Me: ::thinking quickly about how to respond...just say no? Should I just go? No, I hate those kinds of things!:: [Squinching up my face apologetically] No, I don't think I can make it.
Coworker: [Looks surprised that I said no so quickly] Oh! But there's no pressure! It'll be fun, promise!
Me: I really just don't like those kinds of things. I'm sorry!
Coworker: Well, that's ok. No one would be selling anything, though.
Me: [smiling]
Coworker: Your hair looks awesome, by the way. So smooth.
Me: Really??? I totally sat down today, and caught a glance in my little desk mirror and thought it had totally frizzed out, so thank you! I forgot to put a smoother in it this morning, like a dope. It really looks ok?
Coworker: Oh yeah! It looks great! I get this stuff from Sephora that smooths mine's that Frizz Ease stuff, or whatever. Have you heard of it? It's amazing.

We chit-chatted about the new JC Penney's that opened a little south of our office recently, and how they apparently have a Sephora there, or some shit, and I got all giddy in my excitement of having a Sephora so close to the office now. And then she said her goodbyes, and went on to her desk.

I can't get over how awesome she was about just moving on past my "no" answer to her Pampered Chef invite. I mean, it would have been best if she'd sent an email or an e-vite of some sort, rather than just approaching me the way she did, but the fact that she went on to be so nice to me? Just gotta love people like that first thing in the morning.

But man...I really fucking hate those kinds of parties. I almost wish she'd invited me over under the guise of having margaritas, or something, with a bunch of the office chicks. Margaritas and chips and salsa. Yeah...that would've been fabulous! And then, if she'd been all, "Hey, Pampered Chef materials are over here, if you're interested. Who needs another margarita???" I wouldn't have been in the least put out by it. (I think.)

It was such an aptly timed question, too, because just yesterday there was a discussion on the Dooce Community about whether people like those kinds of "parties", and I didn't even jump in because it's been so long since anyone invited me to anything like that. Who would've thunk that just one day later, I'd be dealing with the topic in real life?

What do you guys think of parties like that? And since I have so many men that read my blog, is there an equivalent sort of thing that you all have that you get invited to? Or is it just women that have to deal with this shit? If so, how unfair is that???


Nuke said...

I don't know of a male equivalent. I can't see guys doing it unless it involved free beer and/or blowjobs.

However, as I get older and want nicer things, I have ordered the occasional Pampered Chef or Tupperware item. Usually after I go thru like 5 of the generic version of it (for example, egg slicer).

Faith said...

I have a pitcher and a HUGE 8-cup measuring cup that I bought from a Pampered Chef party that I went to around 7 years ago that have both been handy to have, and still are going strong in my kitchen collection!

But I just don't need anything right now, is all. And I just finished spending twice my mortgage on my damned car last month to make it happy again. I'm kinda done with spending for the time being, I think.

Plus, really...I just hate those parties!!!

Maine said...

No. I think men tend to like each other. We don't really obligate each other to stuff that we wouldn't universally like doing anyway.

Fred Sanford said...

it's an apple/orange thing.


bill - so. doin' anything this weekend?

ted - cuttin' some dados and tenons for the fence i'm puttin' up.

bill - what fence?

ted - back yard.

bill - yeah ain't got a band saw.

ted - yeah i do.

bill no you don't

ted - yeah i do.

bill - dude i was JUST over there this weekend. i woulda seen a band saw if you had one.

ted - came yesterday.

bill - came from where?

ted - wisconsin.

bill - wisconsin?

ted - yeah wisconsin.

bill - they make band saws in wisconsin?

ted - don't know. just bought this one from a guy there.

bill - ebay?

ted - ebay.

bill - cool.

ted - yeah.

bill - so what is it?

ted - nuthin.

bill - no really. what is it?

ted - nuthin'.

bill - you gonna make me beg?

ted - you ready for this?

bill - i'm ready.

ted - okay. it's a Grizzly 17", the Extreme Series, 2 HP, G0513X2 model. And it's NEW man.

bill - get out.

ted - true.

bill - laura's gonna have a cow.

ted - nah, i told her it was deductable...

bill - your ass is deductable...

ted - ...and it didn't cost that much. just $800.

bill - that's all? who'd you have to fuck to get it that cheap?

ted - no one. guy even sprang for shipping himself.

bill - no shit.

ted - yeah.

bill - man that's a steal.

ted - yeah.

bill - guy's probably goin though a divorce.

ted - what i figured.

bill - yeah. that sucks.

ted - yeah.

ted - good price though.

ted - yeah.

bill - so when can i try it out.

ted - this weekend. i told laura you'd be helping me with the fence.

bill - sweet. i'll bring the beer.

...come the weekend bill and ted and several of their closest friends would all be at ted's place cuttin the holy shit out of some wood, talking about how sweet ted's new bandsaw is.

but even ifthere was a grizzly salesman right there, with 2 or 3 identical saws in the back of his truck, and he was prepared to sell them for $800 ea or less, the guy wouldn't make one sale.

women will go to a home [insert random over-priced household item/dildo] party and come home with a couple hundred dollars worth of, household items because it is the rare man who would seriously object...most men knowing which side of the bed contains the honey pot.

conversely few men will come home with several hundred dollars of unannounced, tools for household repairs and such for exactly the same reason; honey pot access.*

i' jes sayin...

* it follows then that some of the happiest men in america are those worthies who have a job that allows them to buy copious amounts of work tools from the snap-on guy, or the grizzly guy or whoever, and to use them daily on the job but to not find time to use them at home. these are content men.

Spyder said...

Fred, That was effing hilarious. Faith, emailing you!

Average Jane said...

I have a weakness for Pampered Chef specifically, but I've started opting out of other selling parties because I don't want or need candles, jewelry, toys, etc.

Ms. Pants said...

My seething hatred of those infernal parties of shit has been tamed by my sudden desire to blow Fred Sanford.

Faith said...

Bwahahaahhaha! Fred is a popular guy around here, it seems. Fred should come around more often, I think!

faithstwin said...

I don't like those parties either. I have happily gone to some in recent years to try to help support best friend and fam, but really? It was to get together to chat and drink wine, have some cheese. I sacrificed out of love though.

Fred: some of us girls like to cut wood with power tools, too.

Just sayin'. =P

JJSKCK said...

Fred, that's a dead-on perfect script.

Faith, I'll add to the other guys in affirming that we don't do that stuff to each other. We don't invite other guys to our house to make them sit through a sales pitch from someone they probably know, thus guilting them into buying something.

And if we ever DID do that, we sure as hell wouldn't call it a party.

To paraphrase Lawrence from Office Space - No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked doin' something like that, man.