Friday, September 10, 2010

The bears. The bears are kinda boring, y’all. Booo!

Leo went to the dermatologist again this last week, had some stitches removed and another mole taken out. And then they found some on his head, because I guess it just slipped their minds to look at it before now, and there are 3 she wants to take from there…

I had told him a while back that it IS his body, and he can tell her when he needs a break, if that’s the case. Because having 7 moles removed over the course of 8 or 9 weeks…it’s not the holiday jubilee it might sound like in your dreams. You know?

So she started talking about wanting to remove these 3 moles FROM HIS SKULL, and they’d have to shave his head and everything, and he finally put his foot down. He said, “Not right now, thanks!” He apparently talked her into letting him wait until next spring or summer. Because winter without hair is probably hard to adjust to for someone who’s never been bald before. Just guessing.

Also, it all sucks. A lot. Good god, the poor boy!

And he has managed to live these 32 years with the moles thus far, so he thinks that another 5 months likely won’t make a huge difference. She didn’t like it, but she agreed, apparently.

And then he said, “I asked her about the bear thing, too.”

“Ooh! YAY! So what the fuck is the deal?”

“Well, she has some friends from Africa that…”

“There are bears in Africa? Hmm...I dunno why I never thought about that before, but it seems odd that there would be bears there at all.”

“No, the friends from Africa live in Virginia. And they have a bear sanctuary. She goes to visit from time to time. She likes the bears.”

::blank stare:: “That’s it? That’s all there is to the bears?”

“Yep. At least, that’s all she said.”

“Oh. Well that’s a shitty story. I don’t want to tell that one!”

“Well, it’s the reason for the bear pictures all over. That’s all.” ::shrugs::

So there you have it, guys. She has friends who have a bear sanctuary (why they need a sanctuary is beyond me, but whatevs), and she visits now and then. Apparently, bears in a sanctuary don’t mind closeness to human beings. Or something. :/

They also kill the sick ones and cook them up and eat them.

Nah! I’m kidding…they don’t do that to the bears. This story just sucks, so I wanted to make it more fun somehow. ::sigh:: Blame Leo. I don’t think he asks things right.


"The D" said...


worst. bear. story. ever.


Faith said...

I KNOW! I was totally going to take the check I owe them into their office at lunch, but then I sent it in the mail instead. JUST TO SPITE THEM! Stupid non-story about bears...::kicks dirt::

Ryan the Girl said...

Ha, the part about eating bears made laugh out loud!

Canis Majoris said...

Ah, c'mon! A good husband would have known to come back with a great story! Even if it wasn't true. What's wrong with him? :) At the very least, he should have said, "What do you THINK she said about the bears?" And then when you came up with this outrageous story about it he could have had the decency to tell you that you were absolutely correct. He obviously doesn't know how to play the game.

faithstwin said...

That's not bad! Just so you know: people get waaayyy too comfortable around animals they have 'rescued' and keep in 'sanctuaries' so I think there maaayyy be a mauling story in the future, hhhmmm? (is it then ok to eat the bears once they have eaten a friend? Just sayin'...)

Tell the bit about Jeffers!

OR tell my rose petal story! (I have PICTURES that go with mine!)

!!!...!!! and !!!

Nuke said...

New Jeffers story? Spill it!

As for the bears, what a let down.
I woulda made up something about how she was out west and had a Native American Shaman divine the bear as her spirit animal and how she underwent a peyote fueled vision quest to get in contact with her spirit animal. Then tack on that afterwords she got a full back tattoo of a great bear. THAT woulda been a story.

Faith said...

Future reference note: Ask Nuke to write any and all bear stories for me.


Nuke said...

I'd be happy to write Da Bears stories for you.