Thursday, March 31, 2011

I lied.

Ok, I was too tired to move last night after I got home, so I didn't get photos loaded as promised. I will tonight! In the meantime, I'm busting some ass at work, and reading stories like the one about the tennis player dude who apparently lobbed a ball at a crying baby in the audience at his tennis match. Which, as I'm sure you all won't be surprised by, I think is fucking awesome. This story had my favorite take on it, because it's exactly what I thought when I first saw the story on GMA this morning...dude lost his cool, and the way he reacted was pretty dumb. But also, a baby at a tennis match? WHY?

People are so fucking stupid, it never fails to boggle my mind.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday, I could just about cry. Hope everyone is having a great week!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Lessons from Wisconsin. #1: They *really* love pizza.

The vacation with the Twin and her daughters was a good time. We went to the indoor water park. We checked out the local landscape. We ate the local food. We raced nuns. It was fabulous.

On our way to the Dells, which was where our hotel was located, we passed this crazy mutherfuckin' house that was leaning all askew on it's foundation. In Kansas and Missouri, we eventually just let these kinds of things fall down, and return to the earth from whence they came.

But apparently in Wisconsin they have to nail a bunch of wood to the other side of the house to keep it from falling on the small road it's sitting next to. That was our best explanation for what was going on there... I have a few other shots of it that I plan on uploading tonight, so I'll share those tomorrow. We actually drove back down about 20 miles south of where we were staying so we could get a better look at it, and take photos. Taking in the's what you do when you're in Wisconsin. Another sight? Dead bird outside the pizza place we ate at on Monday for lunch.

Poor little thing! And also? Ewww...

Just wanted to pop up an update. I have a meeting to go to right now, so I'll write a proper recap of the trip tomorrow, and hopefully will have those photos ready to go with it. In the meantime, watch as the Twin and I race our nuns!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Spring Break is just beginning

As the Twin has alluded to a few times in the comments over the past couple of weeks, she and I will be heading on a little vacation together (along with her daughters) starting Saturday.

I'm definitely looking forward to the break from work. And also, I get to see the Twin! And her girls! YAY!

But we're going to Wisconsin for this little vacation, which is convenient for me, I suppose. But my coworker asked me when I told her about the trip earlier this month, "What the hell is there to do in MARCH in Wisconsin?" Yeeaaahhh...I know. It's weird. But we're going to this ginormous indoor water park, is the thing. So it should be fun, in spite of the cold temps and threat of snow. I'm just imagining the awesome peoplewatching already. ::claps hands in excitement::

Earlier this week, the Twin was telling me about her lovely weekend with her oldest daughter. She's 14, and a freshman in high school. Apparently, she whipped out the "you don't understand!" argument with the Twin during the fight they were having, and it made the Twin laugh a little. Oh hoo! YES she does. She was a teenager too, and not all that long ago! She most certainly does understand, FFS!

Then we were talking about something else that the girls had done that related to stupidness, and I said something about kids being just dumb sometimes. Twin agreed. And then I reminded her about a story of my own dumbness when we were younger. Which is shit I don't bring up very often, as I don't need people to remember how stupid I was at one point in life, and rubbing it all in my face later. But this is just a silly story. I have to tell it.

I can't remember the particulars of how it all began, but the Twin and I both needed to take a shower before heading somewhere. I called the shower first, but Twin went in there while I was getting undressed, and locked the door, and climbed in herself.

(She could be SUCH a fucking heinous bitch when she really wanted to be!)

(Oh, by the way, we were about 12 or 13. So we were both in the prime of our heinous bitchery at the time.)

I was PISSED. So my solution for handling the shower issue was to go around to the rest of the house, and turn on all the hot water items I could. Mom and dad's shower, their sinks, the jacuzzi in their bathroom, then down one level to my brother's shower, and his sinks, and then into the kitchen to start the DISHWASHER, and run the sink, and then on down to the basement level, where we had yet ANOTHER shower that I ran, along with the washing machine. On a hot load, of course.

It was while I was starting the washing machine that my mother discovered my antics and asked what the hell I was doing, so I explained to her, and then SHE got pissed, and asked me why I didn't just shower someplace else???

I didn't want to. That's how I rationalized my behavior to her. Oh, and the fact that dammit, I CALLED THE SHOWER FIRST. So really, this was all Twin's fault.

I think I honestly thought that my mom would see it my way, thanks to that little aspect of the story.

But no. No she did not.


Being a twin was hard. Being a twin AND a teenager at the same time? Dudes...::shaking head:: Y'all just don't understand.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

If I had one wish, not gonna lie...I'd be *totally* selfish.

Me: I've decided that if I had one wish granted to me, it would be to have perfect shit. Shit that didn't hurt, wasn't difficult, comes out clean and happy, and that's it. That's my wish.

Leo: THAT would be your wish? It's about shitting?

Me: Um, HI. Do you know me? Have you met me yet? YES, my wish would be for perfect shit.

Leo: I don't get it.

Me: Well, you know how you hate it when you have a bad shit? Like, when you swear you're sick or you ate something bad, or whatever? And you walk around here sulking like it's the end of the world?

Leo: Yeaahh...?

Me: Ok, imagine that happening to you FOUR TIMES A DAY. And then tell me that it would be a wasted wish to wish for perfect shit.

Leo: ...

Me: Yeah. So that'd be my wish. I fucking HATE my shit. I wish I had nice shit all the time. You people who don't have IBS or just irritated stomach for whatever reason just slay me. You could never understand what it's like to be me...

(Did we really have this conversation? Why yes. Yes, we did. After I'd had to have him pause the TV for the 3rd time in an hour after we got home from dinner so I could go to the bathroom AGAIN. ::sigh::)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

You know what? No. But thanks for the offer!

About a month and a half ago, I made trip arrangements for Leo and I to meet up with my brother and sisters and their families in Hawaii this summer. My older sister found us a house, and we just need to get our asses there for the last week of June, and we can hang out on vacation the way Kansans were always meant to vacation. On a beach. Under palm trees. Preferably with some sort of chilled drink in hand.

I hate making flight arrangements so far in advance for a trip. Just can't stand it. But in this case, it has to be done. There are really very few flight options from Kansas City to Hawaii in the first I wanted to be sure we were booked on our flights of choice!

But of course they would change the flights since I made the reservation. Of course. Which is the reason I hate making the arrangements so far in advance!

Original flight times/paths were just about perfect. I strongly dislike flying through Denver (we're flying United), so I found a flight that went through San Francisco instead. Lovely. Found a return flight that was kinda early in the morning, but we'd get back to KC the same day. Most other flights left in the afternoon or evening, and didn't get here until the following day. BLECH. So I booked the perfect flights, and moved on with life.

At the beginning of this month, they changed my plan on me. Instead of flying out through San Fran, now we were going through Chicago. Kinda stupid, but ok. Fine. We still arrive in Hawaii at about the same time, so whatever.

Flying back sucked a little bit, but it was through San Francisco, and got us back here by 12:15 a.m. on July 4th. Ugh. But alright. We'd still have all day on Monday the 4th to decompress and unpack, etc...

I resigned myself to the changes. And moved on with things.

Today, they called again. With another change. This time, I needed to call them to make the decision on what to do. New option is to leave at 8:30 PM on Sunday, fly through Denver (booo!), and arrive back in KC at about 12:40 PM on Monday.

To me? That option sucks. What else do they have?

Apparently, they can fly us through San Francisco on the way back, but there aren't any flights from there to KC after we arrive there from Hawaii. So we'd have to fly to...wait for it...


and then back to KC. So that's the other choice.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Not joking. The guy totally offered me that option.


He checked twice though. Left me on hold for a few minutes each time, and I'm sure he wasn't totally eating his breakfast, and then just saying that he was talking to a supervisor, or anything. I'm positive he was actually checking on my other options.

There's really only one flight at 7 a.m., and one flight at 8:30 p.m. that are my options, I confirmed?

Yes, he said. Those are it.

I told him that (a) I hate flying to begin with. And then (b) flying over water makes that fear jump exponentially higher. And NOW they're (c) putting me on an overnight flight? IN THE DARK? With a pilot that might be sleep deprived??? ::sobs quietly:: Ok...I guess I can hope that another change might come up sometime in the next 3 months.

I am so getting valium before that damned trip. Totally, absolutely, 100% getting DRUGGED UP.

It is 2011. WHY hasn't someone figured out teleportation yet? GAH.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Chemical warfare in mah belleh.

I've done it before, but I had to do it again...I gave up Diet Coke.


I didn't want to. But it became clear that I had to. I'm pretty sure it's what's been causing my bouts with nausea over the last few months. I still can't prove it 100%, but last week, after having to call in sick again on Monday because I was just too nauseous to even move for 8 hours, I decided that drinking Diet Coke might be an issue. So I did without it on Monday (of course), and then on Tuesday I went all day without any caffeine at all, and just dealt with the fallout. (Headache, mood, sleepiness...) By Wednesday, I was willing to try caffeine, but in a different form. So I got an iced tea. And it went ok.

So by the time Saturday rolled around, I was really, really missing my daily Diet Coke! Like, really really. So I told Leo to go ahead and grab me one when he went out to grab us caffeine from the QT that morning.

And by about 1:30, I was feeling like hammered shit again.

I've done this sort of thing before. In fact, I'm sure there are references to it in my archives, but I don't have the desire to look it up right now, to be honest.

I'll be ok, I guess. I'm just a little sad about it. Could be worse, I suppose! So I'll count my blessings, and just keep sipping away at my tea...

Friday, March 18, 2011

::head explodes::

There's just too much going on.

March Madness.
Some dude who added me randomly to a distribution list at work who won't stop sending stuff. AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.
Rebecca Black. (Thanks Twin. :P)
That dumb UCLA bitch who doesn't like Asians.
Dark chocolate covered peeps.

It's Friday, Friday, gonna have some fun fun fun fun...AUUUAGGGHHHGGHGJDKWERLYUTBNDMFG!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Because *mine* was licked on by kittens!

I've been trying to convince Leo for a few weeks now that he should give acupuncture a try. At first he was resistant, because Leo + needles = FREAKTHEFUCKOUT. But then he started to seem agreeable about the idea.

And then over the weekend, we were talking more about him needing to go to the doctor to get an updated prescription for his blood pressure meds, and I was all, "DUDE. Please try acupuncture!" And he agreed that it might be a worth-while idea.

So I offered to make him an appointment while I was in their office on Monday for my own appointment. He agreed that would be a good plan. We talked about when would be a good time for him to go in this week, but if they didn't have any appointments, then what about next week? Got it all nailed down. So I went in on Monday, got there a little early, made his appointment for today, and gathered the paperwork for him to fill out at home so it'd be ready to go when he goes there today.

I got home and found him in the closet, ironing. Because that's something he's been needing to catch up on, apparently. And I told him I'd made his appointment, but it was with the new accupuncturist, Amy, because my doctor is a pretty busy dude, and Amy is really nice and very qualified.

"Whoah, whoah! ACUPUNCTURE? I didn't think I was getting acupuncture!" he replied.

I literally cocked my head at him and said, "What the hell did you think we were talking about for the last couple of weeks, dude?"

"I thought there were other ways they could help me. Like through chiropractic stuff, or whatever?"

"Well, maybe. But the reason why the chiro is working for me, along with acupuncture, is because my eye twitch is connected to nerves in my neck that are all wonky. I don't think they'll be able to tie your high blood pressure to wonky nerves in your neck, hon. But you never know!"

"I don't WANT acupuncture tomorrow!"

"Oh! Well, it's just a consultation tomorrow, though. So you can sit down, tell them you have this insane aversion to needles (even ones you can't feel), and see what your options are! No biggy! Or you can eventually do what I do when I'm in there...and just shut your eyes. You aren't the one putting the needles in. So you totally just get to lie there with your eyes closed! Also, Amy's really pretty..."

And then he muttered something about me being a smartass, and I went out to watch TV until dinner was ready.

I hope his appointment goes ok. I just cannot understand why his damned blood pressure is still so high even with working out regularly, and eating well, and not being a chef anymore...It's a head-scratcher!*

*Yeah, no it's not. Dude has to live with me. Mystery solved.

Friday, March 11, 2011

That's it. Decision MADE.

Between watching tsunami and earthquake news, and getting ready for work this morning, I wound up being about 20 - 25 minutes late. I blamed the distraction of the news in Japan when I texted my boss (to which he replied, "What happened in Japan?" He's not a morning news watcher...), as well as the goddammed long-ass hair I have on my head.

It just isn't easy to style. It may look pretty, and be fun to pop up into a long, swingy ponytail now and then, and curl into lovely long wavey curls on weekends (because hell if that's gonna happen during a weekday! I'd have to get up even earlier, and dammit...NO.), but it just takes me too damned much time to style.

Even with me just washing it a couple of times a week! It's just too much.

So I'm done. I'm cutting it off at the shoulder! I think any one of these chicks' hair would look fab on top o' mah head...

Does anyone else miss Claire as a redhead? Damn, they'd ALL look awesome as a redhead, I think! Red is fun.

Anyway, I have a text in to my hairdresser to make sure we have enough time to chop things at my next appointment. It'll be at the beginning of April, so don't hold your breath for the change to happen soon! But, oh IS happening...

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Because sometimes, I like making the Twin smile.

Back when we were home in San Juan Capo for Christmas, my step mom was all about taking pictures of the kids in front of the tree. At one point, she talked Leo and I into posing for her. We snapped a few pictures, and then this happened:
I don't honestly remember this occurring. The Twin did, though, and was glad that our step mom not only saved the picture, but framed it for Twin and gave it to her as a birthday present! As the story goes, this present made the Twin very, very happy.

I think we like it because Leo's fist looks so damned weird in it. And I have that look on my face, and the Twin is all "YAY!"

Anyway, Twin wanted me to post it on the blog. And I didn't do it right away because then it would be all expected and shit. So here it is. At an unexpected time. :D

Gotta love the Twin and Leo!

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

I'm just a wordy bitch.

Do you ever get finished writing an email, and then before you send it you're all, Damn. That's a long fuckin' email!

But you can't really take anything out, because then it wouldn't make any sense.

So you just send the long-ass email, and hope people receiving it seriously appreciate all the effort and time you put into writing the novel-email dealio?

I write long emails. It's been a fault of mine for years.

But the thing is, I need to give people as much information as I can. I don't want to leave them with questions! So I provide info up the yin yang. And then I become known for writing novel-length emails.

Which I think is kind of shitty, since really, I'm doing them a favor.

Because, honestly, what am I supposed to do with an email like this?:

"Faith, I have a person starting on 2/28/2011. Can you help me with reserving a desk, getting a badge request, and a computer. If I have forgot anything please let me know."

Can anyone see anything wrong with that email at all? Just off the top of your heads?

Yeaaahhh...maybe the person's name would be helpful??? ;)

Being new to a management position, I totally don't blame that dude for leaving some important stuff out, and we worked everything out together, so no biggy. But see, had he been more like me from the get-go, we would have had way fewer emails pass between us about that new hire!

::sigh:: Maybe it's kind of like a sickness that I have. Maybe there's a medicine I can take to help with the long email thing. But I dunno...I already take a lot of pills. Maybe people should just put up with it and be happy I provide them with all the details they could ever want to know about a given topic.

Monday, March 07, 2011

So we're househunting.

Ugh. Househunting is so, soooo different when you already own a house, and want to move into a new one. It would be one thing if the realtor I worked with when I was searching 7 years ago was still in the business, but she's not. I'd totally work with her again.

Instead, we have to find a new realtor. And how do you do that if you don't know anyone that's bought/sold a house recently, or anything? It's hard. So. many. realtors. ::cries::

So we started by going out to some open houses to meet realtors, and get a feel for who might be a good fit for helping us out. Thing is, we also ran across open houses for homes we'd like to buy. And mixing the two activities wound up being a little exhausting.

I don't think we're very good at this real estate game, basically!

I don't know how quickly this process will go for us, but I'm hoping it goes smoothly. Wish us luck! I'll keep everyone updated as the process progresses...

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Should I cut my hair? Come give me your opinion!

I've been growing my hair out for about a year now. It's kinda long. Not SUPER-long, but definitely longer than it's been in a long while.

Thing is, I like styling it and curling it and having general amounts of merriment with its length right now.
But I'm also getting sick of it. I miss my shorter hair. It was quicker to style. Easier to work with. I know...duh, right? Of course it was.

But do I want to quit now? DO I?

I don't know.

So I thought I'd get opinions. Do you think I should cut my hair short again? Here are a couple of examples of the shorter haired me...

With bangs (which I likely wouldn't do...):

Or without bangs:

What say ye, readers?