Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Wisconsin lessons #2 & #3: Dry wit & risotto? Um, NO.

Sorry it's been a while since I wrote. We've been busy these past couple of weeks, and work is exploding, and finding time to just sit and be funny and have fun is just hard to do.

And I know that coming here to read about my whining is always fun, so there's that. :/ I told the Twin I can't think of anything to write about, so she encouraged me to write more about Wisconsin (which, of course I haven't uploaded those photos I promised last week...::sigh::), and I figured that, yeah, there are a couple more lessons that everyone should be aware of when it comes to Wisconsin, so here we go!

Wisconsin lesson #2: "Uncle Ben's" is apparently synonymous with "risotto" for them.

Our first night in town, we found a lovely, bustling Italian place calleed Sorrento's for dinner. I ordered some yummy gnocci, and the Twin ordered what sounded like a yummy chicken dinner, and had a side of risotto with it. When they set the risotto down on the table, though, it looked more like a dish of rice pudding. And she took a couple bites of it, but didn't seem all that enthused, really. Also, her chicken dinner was NOT yummy, and then she told me the risotto sucked. So I tried a bite.

Yeah, that was NOT risotto. I don't know what they think risotto is, but it specifically needs to be made with arborio rice, and they had clearly heated up some Uncle Ben's, or some shit, and threw some insane amount of butter and maybe some parmesian in there (but even that is a mystery to us), and then called it risotto.


Even better, we went to a more "fancy" restaurant on Sunday night for dinner, and found out it was run by the same chef, or whatever, as Sorrento's. I ordered lamb, which was delicious, but it came with a pea risotto. And we all expected it to be the same, but I guess there was still a hope in my heart that it would be REAL risotto. But no. This was the same weird Uncle Ben's concoction that the Twin had had the night before, but they threw peas in it, was all. ::sigh::

Risotto ain't that hard, y'all.

And if they're gonna serve it in two of their restaurants at that resort? They should at least figure out how to fucking make the stuff. At that second restaurant we went to on Sunday, there was a lady at a table behind me that openly complained about it to the serving staff. I wondered how often that happened there. Because I can imagine it happens a LOT. And yet...they make risotto like that all over their resort, still. Hmm...

I'm thinking they don't give a rat's ass!

Anyway, on to the 3rd lesson!

Wisconsin lesson #3: Sarcasm? They don't get it.

The Twin and I come from a family that's pretty ridiculous with the dry wit. We are sarcastic mutherfuckers through and through, and while we crack ourselves up with it a fair amount, and usually get laughs from those with us because they understand what we're talking about and find it funny as well (to a degree, anyway), in Wisconsin? I don't think they got us.

It was mostly the front desk clerks that fell against the receiving end of our wit. We had an issue with the room that the Twin reserved for us on Saturday when we arrived, and I had to stay at a different hotel that night due to the lack of space/beds for all of us. When I was checking in at my hotel, the Twin and her daughters came inside with me to check out the place. (It was a Great Wolf Lodge, which I told them we also had in Kansas. Maybe next time they get a hankerin' for indoor water parks, they'll come here instead. Weee!!!) The front desk clerk took my credit card, and then said, "It's just you in the room, correct?" And I said, "Yes. Well, and these guys will be staying in the closet, but it's just the one bed I'll need, yeah." And she was handing me back my credit card while I was saying that, so I was putting it away and apparently, her eyes got all big and she stopped what she was doing and looked at all of us, and the Twin said, "She's kidding...we're staying up the street." Which I suppose was a relief to the poor woman.


It was funny to us, though. :D

They just didn't get us up there, is all. We kept mostly to ourselves, really, so I suppose that helped a bit. There were so many people at that resort. So many people. It was mind-boggling. And while it was Spring Break, and the amount of people made sense, I just cannot imagine what it's like up there when it's summertime. ::shudders::

Ok, I swear I will get pictures uploaded sometime in the next 20 years, and I'll share them. Just so much stuff going on...too much really...


faithstwin said...

Ok, Wisconsin is now an official buzzkill. NO ONE has commented? Not much to say about Wisconsin, eh?

Faith said...

I'm putting up pictures today. I need to forget the shit couple of weeks I've had at work, and remember back to a time when all I had to complain about was bad risotto and key cards that locked us out of our hotel room now and then...