Last week, like all faint-hearted Americans who do not want their houses to get egged and/or TP’d on Halloween (or any night thereafter, truthfully), Leo and I went to Costco (where you can’t let on to your faint-heartedness or else YOU WILL DIE) to get some candy to hand out for our first Halloween in the new digs.
We considered shutting our lights off and ignoring the troops, however big they may be, but we haven’t lived there long enough to be completely aware of the amount of little shitness that inhabits our neighborhood. It could be a very small amount of little shits live there. But, as one of the houses (where 2 little kids live – not known yet whether they’re little shits, mind you) down the street from us was TP’d not even 2 weeks ago, we thought it best not to take any chances.
Anywho, Halloween was had, kids came and got candy, neighbors commented awesomely about the house and our couch and light fixtures they could see through the front door, and then the Chiefs won, The End.
So Leo puts the leftover bags of candy next to my purse for me to take to work with me, which I did, and I’ve been sharing the leftover bounty happily with all who pass my cube ever since.
And then Friday night, I’m chatting with Leo in the kitchen, and notice he’s eating some candy. “Where’d you get that candy?” I asked. “Nowhere.”
(I live with a 12 year old. ::sigh::)
I notice him eating more candy later, but I was about 4 beers in after abstaining for a few days last week, so I didn’t give two fucks, really. I just had more beer, and watched Bored To Death, and laughed and laughed and laughed…
Saturday morning, I went to throw something away in the kitchen garbage, and noticed a Twix wrapper on top. Prior to that, I thought Leo had maybe stashed some crappy sugary candy he likes, like the weird sour Twizzlers that came in the bag we bought. Or the random “chewy” Lemonheads that are actually just sour jelly beans in disguise. But that he probably gave me the rest to bring to work with me.
BUT NO! Dude was hiding CHOCOLATE from me somewhere, and not just chocolate, but chocolate covered caramel and crispy cookie.
WHY, Leo? WHYYYY???
No matter. He was at school. I had about 7 hours to look around for his private candy stash, although it only took me about 3 seconds to walk across the dining room to the slightly open closet doors by the stairs. I had been in there twice last week to get different coats out, but hadn’t thought to look at anything other than my coats while I was in there.
Sure enough, on the shelf above the coats, there was the big bowl that we had put all the candy in for Halloween night. I went to take it down, and felt the weight of it immediately. That bowl was FULL of candy!
Given, I've been happy about being able to enjoy it for the last couple of days, and it will be nice to have more to share with my coworkers throughout the next few weeks. But still...sneaky bastard!