Thursday, October 27, 2011

What? I had a lot of boxes...I built a fort. SO?

We're moving at work. Not a huge distance, or anything, but moving is moving in my world. I man one of the supply "cabinets." It's not so much a "cabinet" as it is a bunch of drawers in different cabinets I keep at my desk. Anyway, point is, I have lots of shit to move with me.

Enough shit that, once I packed it all, I was able to build a small fort.
It is nice and quiet in my fort. I had a helium balloon kit from a party years ago that was stashed under my desk. Guess what? IT STILL WORKS! So I blew up some balloons to make my fort a bit more festive.

Does someone dare approach my powerful Fortress of Fry-Wagner???
Aw, that's ok. It's a smiley fortress. Hence the balloons.

YAY for being done packing! And everyone has, so far, respected the boundaries of the fort. And so my job is done here.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The snoring chronicals: part 2

Remember last week when I told y'all about how Leo was snoring on Sunday night, and it was loud and obnoxious and I wanted him to STOP IT?

It happened again this week.

"HONEY. Goddammit, I'm not going through this again! Turn on your side! TURN ON YOUR SIDE!!!"

And then it hit me.

"Turn on your side!"

"Turn on your light!"

Ooooooohhhh!

Hahahahahahaha!

So I made it clear, just in case, "DON'T turn on your light, ok? I just want you to stop snoring. Turn over, dude."

This time, he turned over, and got quiet, and all was well. In the dark. Awesome. :D

Friday, October 21, 2011

Annnd, the day comes to a halting STOP.

The Twin is at the cemetary right now, wanting to change my mom and dad's separate headstones to one single headstone, with a picture of the both of them on it.

So she needed all us kids to text her our "ok" on the plan. I approve, so I replied as such.

The she sent the picture she plans to put on the new headstone, and...

...well, now instead of being a productive, gettin'-work-done admin, I'm a blubbery mess.

Good GOD, I miss my parents!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

It's bound to just get stolen by some bully kid up the block, anyway.

"Holy crap! A Green Machine! Wait...does it have an engine on it?"

Leo was reading the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog last night when I got home from work. The front cover was sporting a picture that brought vivid memories rushing back from my past. There was a Green Machine on it, and it looked amazingly similar to a Green Machine we had around the house - likely, it belonged to our brother - when I was a kid.

The Twin and I both had Big Wheels, but I'm sure that my brother had a Green Machine at one point. There wasn't a huge difference between the two bikes, except that the Green Machine was steered through the use of two pully-type handles instead of handlebars. It could be a bit confusing to a kid without much coordination, I'd think.

The Big Wheel was very user-friendly, and allowed the Twin and I to zoom around the back yard, around the pool in dangerously-close-to-the-edge patterns, as well as through a chalk "street" that we drew from the front driveway all the way through the back yard.


I can't remember ever being on Joey's Green Machine, but I remember it being there. How can you forget a bike like this?


So, anyway, Leo gave me the Hammacher Schlemmer, and I went through it to find the Green Machine and see how much it was. (Leo said he wanted one. So I needed to find out how silly that idea really was.) In the process, I found a GIANT Ugly Doll that I wanted for myself. "OOH! Ok, I will get you the Green Machine, if I can get this gigantor Ugly Doll for myself," I said to Leo.

"OK!" he replied.

"Aw...it's $700! Jeezy...no giant Ugly Doll for me. Booo..."

And then I finally found the page with the Green Machine info. I started reading it out loud to Leo, emphasizing the awesomeness of the Hammacher replica being so similar to the original toy, the designer of the Green Machine from the 70's apparently wanted to see the two bikes side by side!

How cute!

And then I continued to read about how it had some sort of amazing...Harley engine in it, which gave it 60 horsepower? AND speeds up to 50 MPH??? And I was all, "Wait a minu..." as I looked at the price.

"SEVENTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS? Oh, come on, man!" Leo was laughing at me and reminding me that all I wanted was the giant Ugly Doll, and then he could have his Green Machine...

You fooled me, Hammacher Schlemmer! You didn't have a picture of a human on the bike in the catalog, so I thought it was a nice, small-sized Green Machine that maybe was gonna cost something like $1,000.

But ohhooo no! Nope, you have to have the $75,000 Green Machine, eh?

Nice try, dudes. Nice fucking try...

Monday, October 17, 2011

The snoring chronicals

"Dude, you're snoring. Turn on your side."

::loud snoring sound::

::pokes Leo:: "HON. Please, turn over...you're snoring really loud!"

"Mfhuan..." ::snoring sound::

::continues trying to read::

::loud snoring from Leo's side of the bed::

"HONEEEYYY. Please, you're really loud tonight! Turn on your siiiiide!"

Leo, quiet for a moment, suddenly reaches over to his side table and turns on his bedside lamp.

::looks over at Leo:: "Um, what are you doing?"

"It was dark." Leo is lying on his pillow with his eyes closed, clearly still planning on sleeping, which generally is an activity he performs with his light OFF. A pillow he had propped behind his head falls on his face. He bats it away like it's a bug. He smiles. And he is clearly still asleep.

I go back to reading for a bit, and then I get up to go turn off Leo's lamp, and then switch mine off as well as I climb back into bed.

Leo's snoring has mercifully stopped.

He is so weird.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Maybe I need to rethink my stance on stupid people...

...because they can be really entertaining!

I've taken to reading the comments on the stories about missing Baby Lisa over on the KMBC website since she disappeared. These were a couple of my favorites from yesterday:

"The parents of this baby don't appear to be too concerned. And I don't believe the mother's cries on TV. I would be a nervous wreck. Did the police check their home and also every closet plus basement. Why was it so easy to get into the window. My first born child'a crib was in our bedroom until he was ready for his own room and we had a two bedroom apartment. Our windows were locked and our bedroom door stayed open. I hope they find this baby soon and alive."

"I am going to keep up with this story and if I have anymore suggestions I will comment on it. I hope my thoughts prove to be helpful on this situation. One more thing, this baby could now be in another town or state."

[Emphasis on certain sentences is my own. Because HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!]

Those were both from the same commenter, mind you.

Also, keep in mind that the baby has been gone now for 10 days. So I'm sitting there laughing as I read those, thinking to myself, "Well I bet the authorities haven't even considered the fact that if she was kidnapped, the baby could be in an entirely different town or even STATE by now! Dadgum it!"

And then the next comment was in response to the above ones:

"I think you should take your suggestions to the police. Someone needs to tell the police to check the home and ALL the closets!"

Hehehehe! I don't have an account on that website. I haven't signed up there in order to keep my sanity in check, because arguing or discussing issues with some of the mental giants that comment there would surely decrease my quality of life, yo.

But that comment really helped to make me feel less alone in reading all this nonsense.

And then one of my friends sent me this link the other day, and we discussed the craziness from the website for a while. It's a page devoted to some of the more stupid responses to Steve Jobs's death out in Social Media Land, but my "favorite" part has to be at the very beginning. The FB discussion between Javon and Sam about Ben Franklin and Albert Einstein "inventing" electricity and gravity, respectively, was enough to make even MY ovaries hurt a little bit. Like, maybe I'm doing the world a disservice by not procreating? Maybe we'll wind up with people like Javon and Sam teaching young kids one day about the benefits of gravity and electricity having been "invented" all those many years ago. And how, without those inventions, we'd be listlessly floating in space without a way to plug in our computers...

I need to stop. My head is about to explode.

Anyway, I'm trying to be more positive, is the thing. Looking at the stupid as being more of a form of entertainment rather than a source of annoyance helps in that regard.

God knows how long it will last...

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Clear for take-off? Sure, we can avoid that tornado over there...

So I just saw this article about a woman that is suing Continental (and it's associated airline partners) over a flight she took with them that experienced "severe turbulence".

I usually don't side with these cases that seem a bit frivolous to some. But in this case? I have to agree that she's doing the right thing.

I've been on many flights that have experienced what I would consider to be moderate turbulence. LOTS of them, really.

But I've only been on maybe 2 that I'd say were severe. One of those was from St. Louis to Kansas City. Back in 2006, or so, I'd flown out there for the day to assist with some training in our branch locations for managers that were apparently retarded and couldn't figure out how to follow instructions at all, and flying back that night, my plane had to go through several thunderstorms between St. Louis and KC.

I thought that flying through the thunderstorms was pretty rough, but as we approached for landing, and descended below the cloud line, we were assaulted - that's just the best way to put it - by the winds at that level.

A usual 10 - 15 minute descent seemed to take FOREVER. It probably lasted at least 30 minutes instead, as the pilots maneuvered through the drafts, which were pushing the plane up, and then back down, and then suddenly tipping us left or right. It was terrifying.

I was luckily seated in the 2nd row. (It was a Southwest flight.) Us passengers up front had the good fortune to be near a level-headed flight attendant that kept us in good spirits, and encouraged us not to worry. She was leaning out from her jump seat next to the door, looking down the aisle at the back of the plane, where people were crying and holding hands across the aisle. She was also keeping a wary eye on her drink cart that had been haphazardly locked up before she hurried to her seat as we hit the heavy chop. It was banging around in a threatening way, and she was afraid she'd have to get up to keep it from rolling away.

She managed to keep us more focussed on the fact that she was unable to complete service in the cabin due to the turbulence issue, and she seemed to feel pretty badly that she was unable to collect cups and cans and stuff from people before she'd had to seat herself. She eventually sent a trashbag down the aisle, apologizing for having to collect the trash that way, but she appreciated our help with performing the service! Being focussed on something so trivial as keeping the plane clean was a nice distraction, if a small one.

Anyway, it didn't totally traumatize me. It didn't keep me from ever wanting to fly again. But I did decide that if I ever needed to travel to St. Louis for the day again, I'd just drive there. And I am VERY strict about the airports I will and will not fly in and out of during certain times of the year. I've been lucky since then with my flights out of KC for trips to California or to Chicago during the spring/summer months, and weather has consistently been on my side.

But I wouldn't hesistate to cancel/rearrange travel times in order to accommodate storminess that popped up unexpectedly on a travel day, if I had to.

My sanity is on the line, quite literally. I don't fuck around when it comes to my sanity!

So I don't blame this woman for filing the law suit. I think that airlines should be much more careful with the lives they have in their hands when it comes to flying in stormy weather. It seems like it'd be an easy decision, IMO. I still think that flight to KC that I took from St. Louis should have been delayed or canceled due to the weather that existed between the two cities, and I don't understand why it wasn't.

I hope this lady gets everything she asks for in the suit.

Friday, October 07, 2011

I am somewhat blocked.

I clearly haven't been posting this week. It's been busy at work, is all. And in a good way, finally! So I've been enjoying it, really.

Of course, as an outskirt Kansas Citian, I've been closely following the missing Baby Lisa story, and as a quasi-psychic, I have to say I've had a bad gut feeling about it since the beginning. When the news came in this morning that her mother (supposedly) failed a polygraph test, I just shook my head and said, "I knew it!" Now, whether that's all true, or what the reasons are behind it all remains to be seen.

But a stranger did not walk into that house and steal their baby. THAT I am pretty damned sure of.

My personal thoughts are that some kind of tragic accident might've happened, either with the baby being left unattended in the bath, or one of her older half-siblings doing something accidentally to her that wound up resulting in her death...and that's when the family came up with this kidnapping story. To cover up her sudden disappearance.

Anyway, we'll see how it all washes in the next week, I'd bet, but in the meantime, if that baby IS still alive, I hope she's with someone who's caring for her.

Aside from that, this week in the Smith Homefront, we have discovered termites in our walls, wasps in our attic (Leo said there were at least 8 or 9 nests that he saw before crawling his ass back out of there again - AWESOME), and while we were considering replacing the carpet in the basement due to some water damage it had incurred from a broken sprinkler head next to the foundation wall, I think we're going to put that off until we find out just how much work we're going to have to do to deal with the critters we found upstairs.

I'm pretty calm about it, really. I'm taking each issue one at a time, and trying to keep Leo in a calm place as well. The house is a solid one. It may have some nooks and crannies here and there that will give us a little trouble, but we'll deal with it over time. And in the meantime, we will live in our lovely home, and stay warm when it's cold out, and cool when it's hot out, and have LOTS of people over to visit, and love it all the same.

That's the important thing.

One more update: I talked to the owner of the car wash about the damage done to my car on Monday afternoon. He was very cool about it, and told me to get a quote from the body shop that does the fixing for the dealership, and then bring it by for him to review. So all is better there, too.

And I really, really think that my next car will be some sort of old beater that I don't care about going through a car wash and getting damage done. Or getting a dent in the door from a careless coworker in the parking garage.

We'll see...

Happy Friday everyone! Have a great weekend...

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Damn you, drive-thru car wash!

I've been needing to wash my car pretty badly. It's needed it for at least a week, and then Friday morning on my way to the gym, the construction dust on a local highway made a mess all over the sides of the car as I drove through it, and made it even MORE urgent.

I planned on going out at lunch on Friday and getting it done. But then little satan guy in my head decided he wanted to play, and my day was shot to hell.

I don't know why I didn't get it done over the weekend. Just didn't think about it, for some reason.

So yesterday, I knew it had to be done. I thought about leaving at lunch time and going to Waterway down the street, but I wound up being busy through lunch. So I figured I could drive through the quicky wash on my way home from the chiropractor instead.

Something was telling me to take it to Waterway. Something deep inside my brain was uncomfy with the drive-thru wash place, but I couldn't figure out why. I've driven through it many times without issue, so I just ignored the worry, and drove through the wash as usual.

And as usual, I pulled over when I was done, and walked around my car to check and make sure there wasn't any damage done while I was in there.

Turns out, I was having a psychic moment with that whole uncomfy feeling. There were two deep scratches right up the front of my hood after the wash. I went over and told the guy in the booth, and he came to check it out. As we walked to where I'd parked my car, he asked me if I did anything while I was going through the wash? "Did you put your foot on the brake?" I tried not to roll my eyes, and just said, "Nah...I was singing along with my music. I don't think that's against the rules though..." He said he didn't mean to be rude, and I assured him I was just kidding around. I understood why he had to ask the question.

The shitty thing about it all is that the construction dirt is still fucking there. AND I have scratches on my hood, to boot.

I'm waiting for the owner of the wash to call me about the issue. ::sigh:: I'll always listen to those instincts that try to warn me from now on. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

Monday, October 03, 2011

It was unexpected, is all I'm saying.

So on Friday, I went home from work at about 12:30, took my pain pill for my damned cluster headache, and went to sleep.

The first 3 hours I slept, I had weird dreams, but nothing too memorable.

The next 2 hours I slept (I woke up for a pee break at about 3:40-ish) (it was a doozy of a headache, srsly!) I remember suddenly being on a couch in some sort of club, hanging out with a bunch of people. One of them was Kobe Bryant. I asked him if he was honestly considering the deal from the Italians. He said he wasn't sure yet. I asked him if I could take a picture with him, so I could tweet to my friends that I was hanging out with him. He came and sat next to me, and I had Leo take pics with my phone.

Thing is, this bitch kept leaning into the picture, ruining my shot with Kobe! I was all, "Dude, get your own picture with him." And then we'd try to take another one, and fuck if she didn't lean into it in the last second!

I hate people like that. ::rolls eyes at the absurdity::

Next thing you know, we all need new drinks. I tell Kobe to go get them for us since, well...he's Kobe Bryant. He should be buying us drinks, dammit! So he heads to the bar, and when he came back, I was in a very serious conversation with Leo about something or another, and Kobe went to hand me a beer, and I was all, "WHOAH. Dude...are you trying to give me a Coors Light?" He was. He really was! So I told him to keep that damned beer (laughingly, of course...I mean, dude bought me a beer. That was nice!), and I managed to get my hands on a Bud Light he had wrapped up in his other arm. (Kobe is apparently very talented in many regards, and one of those includes him being able to carry armloads of bottled beer back to the couch for all his buddies he's hanging out with at any given moment! Handy!)

And then I woke up.

I didn't even get to drink my beer. :/