I'm in the mood to update everyone on what's going on. So here we go:
I'm ok*. That last pill I was on that was meant to try to help me with my eye twitch was unsuccessful in many ways. In fact, I think it made me gain weight, which didn't help AT ALL. So I got off of that shit, and here's the next plan of attack:
- I'm on a new med called Clonazepam. According to the drug website I just looked it up on, "It works by decreasing abnormal electrical activity in the brain." It also makes me dizzy, tired, and feel a little funky. It's basically a form of valium, so that makes sense. I'm gradually increasing my dosage, so right now, I'm just taking it in the morning (after I get to work, so as to avoid causing accidents on my way in to the office) and at night before bed. Later this week, I'll throw in the 3rd mid-day dose, which should come in handy for helping me fall asleep during afternoon meetings, but not care at all because HELLLOOOO! Valium.
- I had my MRI on Sunday. I don't know when I'll be going over the results of the test because my next follow-up appointment with my neurologist isn't until September. So we'll see how that goes. I will definitely be going through the scans again to see if the little man in my brain is still there.
How weird will it be if he is???
- I was contacted by the KU Med doctor that I've been referred to for my condition, so I could set up an appointment to go and see him. Guess when that appointment is? For those that guessed AFTER THANKSGIVING, you are the official winners. There might have been some crying after I hung up the phone with that scheduler.
*I'm really not ok. Yesterday dragged on in a way that made me want to lie down on the floor and moan about how fucking shitty this all is. And then I thought about friends that are being diagnosed with brain tumors and cervical cancer and I felt even worse about my stupid fucking problems, Because they seem so very insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and I wound up going home, crawling into the basement and falling asleep for an hour.
Primal living basically sucked. It made me hate a bunch of vegetables that I used to like a fair amount (zucchini and broccoli, in particular), and I'm just tired of trying. I eat a very small sandwich now and then for lunch. I just had a bagel and a cup of cottage cheese for breakfast. We're eating hotdogs on gluten free buns for dinner tonight. The majority of our food is still protein and vegetables. My stomach is still feeling worlds better than it did several months ago, so something must be going right in there.
I can say that living on the Primal program, or whatever you wanna call it, seems to have helped me figure out a better way to portion out my meals than anything has before. So that's a definite improvement.
I'm going through one of those weird, random stages in life where I love the way I look. I love my bathing suits. I love my awesome clothes. I look like a well-dressed woman everywhere I go, and feel like people are seeing me as being confident and attractive.
It's such a weird deal because just 2 weeks ago, I was feeling like SHIT. And again, I think I have to blame that weird med that I was on. It totally fucked with my entire body, from brain to toes. I'm glad it didn't work on the facial spasms. Because staying on that stuff might've turned me into a hermit for good.
Random side note: I am having a hard time with my personal trainer again, though. She canceled last week because she was sick. And then we met on Wednesday, and had a super workout, and yay. And then we were supposed to meet on Friday but because I was taking the new medicine, I wanted to make sure that I was ok enough to be able to work out properly, so I took her up on her offer to meet on Friday evening instead of at 5:30 a.m. that day. Well, she then pushed it out to Saturday morning. And then she canceled that.
She's out of town this week, training for a new job. She's be back on Sunday, and we're supposed to meet at 11. But I think she and I need to move on. This new job is a full time one, and I know she's been wanting to move away from the training thing for a while now...not because of anything she's said, but she hates her management at the gym, and she just seems sick of it all, IMO. But firing her will be tough. I don't wanna do it! But I need someone more dedicated to pushing me. To making me stronger. To holding me accountable for my workouts!
And that's about all that's going on right now. My face twitch makes me cry. I want to sleep all the time. If I could hang out by my pool and drink apple mocktinis (with a splash of vodka) all day long, I totally would do that. I need to fire my personal trainer. And I'm looking forward to all the travel/time off that I have coming up over the next few months. Pretty exciting stuff!