Monday, October 29, 2012

Champagne: it's what's for breakfast.

Leo and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary over the weekend.

FIVE FUCKING YEARS.

I honestly have a hard time understanding how I finally managed to find someone who is willing to share a relatively small space in this life with me for so long. And who seems to continue to want to!

But then I ask him something like, "How did you manage to get the TV to work?" Because we have a troublesome TV/cable box in our living room. And he responds by pointing at his crotch and saying simply, "I used my penis." To which I respond, "Oh yes...I forgot about your magical penis powers."

And then I chuckle about it for the next 10 minutes because dude didn't even hesitate to answer with the penis option. It just was his automatic go-to.

::sigh:: I love that man!

We went out to dinner to celebrate, and then on Sunday, I decided we should have mimosas and pizza while we watched football. And so it was done...
Keeping the celebration rolling!

5 years seems like such a solid chunk of time. So much has happened in that time. So much has changed.
And yet it still seems like such an impossibly short period of time.

Regardless, we are still going strong. And I count my blessings every day. Thank you, Universe, for sending me such a perfect partner for my life. I'll be forever grateful!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Guess my weight! The number you come up with will actually be preferable, in most cases.

I love it when I go to a doctor, and when they go to weigh me for the first time, they start with the scale balance at the 180 pound mark, instead of the 200 pound mark.

Whether they're doing it because they're being nice, or because they suck at assessing a person's weight by just looking at them, I don't care. I like to pretend that it's because I look like I'm not as heavy as I actually am.

Delusions are a key to my self-confidence much of the time.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Building emotional strength can be exhausting!

So we went to Chicago and South Bend over the weekend. It was a GREAT time...had fun seeing family and friends, and watching what turned out to be a pretty awesome Notre Dame game.

But stuff happened while we were visiting. Leo had a pretty huge attack of childhood flashbacks after hanging out with his brothers on Friday night, and not in a good way. It took a lot of effort to calm him down, and I know that his brain is still burning with the pain, and mine is as well in a way, thanks to my protective instincts kicking in after seeing him in that kind of state.

Saturday was a bit rough around the edges, and while the centerpiece of the activity went off relatively smoothly (the tailgating and the actual game), the post-game activity of figuring out how to get back together with friends who had driven separately, and all that fun...it did not go well. We have a better idea of how to do it in the future, I suppose. ::shrugs::

I don't like how I reacted to the annoyance after the game, though. A lot goes into that kind of emotion, really...being tired, being stuck in a large crowd that was all mixed up in it's direction, wanting to sit in a comfy chair after having been on a bleacher seat for 3 hours.

But it doesn't matter. I want to figure out how to behave better under those circumstances. It's a goal of mine to try to figure out how to behave more graciously when I'm in a group setting where things aren't going 100% perfectly. I hate the idea that it might be effecting peoples' perception of me as a person, as a sister, and as a friend.

I'm trying. Not sure how long it will take for me to change, but I AM trying, dammit!

Anyway, we're home for a month, and then I'll have the chance to try all over again when we go back up to see everyone again for Thanksgiving.

And then I can just let myself be the bitch that I apparently am when we go back to California for Christmas week in December. Because if anyone can handle it, it's my brother and sisters! :P

(Ok, not really...I'm trying to change for the better in ALL relationships. It just might take longer in some cases than others, of course!)

Being a grown-up is HARD.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

He IS a saucy bitch!

Leo bought me this apron for my birthday a couple of years ago. But, to be honest, I don't do much in the kitchen that requires an apron. So he's sort of adopted it for himself.

PERFECT for those days when he's throwing on the wheel in his ceramics class at JCCC!


Us saucy bitches will be off in Chicago/South Bend for the weekend, starting Thursday. I need the time off/time with family and friends, to be honest. This week has been a bit challenging for me in the professional world, and Leo's late night habits and subsequent snoring extravaganzas have been pretty well killing me slowly each night. So I'll see all YOU saucy bitches again next week. Probably with more pictures, as become a habit around here, lately, I've noticed. Meh...'tis the saucy bitch way.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Why go to a bar when you can just stay in the basement?

This is entirely a Leo Smith creation. I was a fortunate bystander in the whole thing, really.

Sometimes, there are two games on that you want to watch. And they're on at the same time, but on different channels. So how do you deal with that kind of connundrum?

Record one while watching the other, and watch the recording later? Sure...that's an option in many homes nowadays.

Go to a bar that has more than one game on at a time? I suppose. But you can't wear your jammies to a bar without opening up the possibility of people pointing and laughing/scaring people.

How about you get a cable splitter, get a TV from a room that no one is in very often, and hook it up right next to your other TV that you usually watch things on?

DING DING DING!!!
::sigh:: I love my basement.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Health update...because you KNOW you want one!

Time for a health update! I think, anyway...

I'm better. My virus might still be lurking, but I don't feel it anymore. I'm back to a regular work out schedule, feel strong again (except for when my trainer is torturing me with extremely heavy weights, that is), and haven't had a fever in over a week.

I still get headaches, but that's become such a part of my identity, I don't actually think it's a sign of anything particularly wrong. Weird?

(Side note: I had a friend once that got a headache and didn't know what to do about it. She thought she was sick because, get this: it was only maybe the 3rd headache she'd ever had in her life. She was about 27 or 28 at the time. Yeah, my mind was BLOWN.)

I decided to wean off the meds I was taking for my hemifacial spasm all together. The first one inflicted me with that lovely side effect of soul crushing depression. The second one had me peeing so infrequently, I almost wonder if it didn't have something to do with me getting so sick with that virus.

I went to my neurologist at the end of that week of me being really sick. He knew how sick I'd been, as did his nurse. She even told me that she and her kids had been fighting something recently, too. So she knew my pain, sort of, I guess. Anyway, concerned that the medication I was taking might be having a really bad effect on my internal organs, the doc ordered some blood work just to rule out anything that could be non-virus related.

The following week - not even 4 days later, actually - my results came in, and the nurse called me to tell me that they were concerned about my liver enzyme levels. They were high. And "unless you've been really sick recently, they shouldn't be that high, so the doctor would like you to go in and get them re-tested again in 2 - 3 weeks."

I didn't even take the time to remind her that I had, indeed, been VERY sick the week before, when I came to their office for a visit. I just said, "Ok." And then we were done. They sent me the blood test orders in the mail. I threw them away.

I see the neuro specialist that they referred me to in November for my hemifacial spasm. We'll see if he can be my new neuro, or if I need to find a new one in the future. Because I'm not going back to that other office, dammit. Nuh-uh.

Mentally, I feel back to my normal self again. I've continued to see the therapist that I started seeing about 6 weeks ago, but the last time I saw her, it was almost like she knew that I had snapped out of anything truly dark, mentally. I suggested that maybe I should see her just twice a month now, and she agreed. But I'm wondering if I should even go that far. Maybe I'm done with seeing her? My next appointment is next Tuesday, and I've been worrying that I don't really have anything I need to discuss with her at all. Seems like a waste of both of our time. So I'm thinking of canceling that appointment and just keeping her card for possible future needs, if they pop up.

So there you have it. My twitch is back just about 100% of the time. It's worse when I'm talking or singing along with music in my car. I'm tired of taking drugs for stuff, so I'm throwing as many as I can to the curb.

Oh, and whether it was because of being sick or because my trainer is such a dick so good at his job, I don't know, but I've lost 7 pounds and 3.5 inches from my waist in the last month. And apparently, I'm very strong, according to him. ::roll eyes:: Whatever justifies his form of torture, I guess! (I like being strong. Don't get me wrong! But I'm just tired of him handing me a 20 pound barbell and telling me to curl as many times as I can. NO. Noooooo. ::crying::)

That's the update for now. Things are basically good again. PHEW!

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

This is an extraneous post. Feel free to ignore it.

Origami puppeh says, "Hello!"

Anyone have a recipe for zucchini bread?

Our garden gave birth to a baby this past week.

A baby zucchini, that is.
Leo thinks it'd be best if we turn it into something like zucchini bread, but neither of us have ever made that. So we need a good recipe to go from. I'm about to check the web for ideas, but if you have a tried and true one to share, please do. Because OHMAHGAHZUCCHINI.

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Having trouble with solicitors?

I have a friend who's been having some issues with solicitors knocking on her door throughout the day (she's a stay at home mom...with a barky dog, no less) trying to talk to her about who she's planning to vote for.

I think this is a shitty thing to do to people, personally. I've never been a big fan of solicitors, and now that we've reached this absolute golden age of internet availability, we no longer have a need, really, for anyone to go door to door to sell us: a new roof; magazines for a fundraiser; housepainting services; lawn services; on their opinion of who we should vote for; anything relating to the belief in or support of Jesus.

She's an Obama supporter. She's not interested in a discussion about it either way because she has her mind made up. She really wants the people to just go away. Unfortunately, unlike me, she can't look through a peephole in the door to make sure that she isn't turning a blind eye to a bleeding and needy child that has stumbled to her doorstep looking for help after being involved in a hit and run on their bike down the street. She has a giant window on the front of her house, so solicitors can pretty well see that she is home, hanging out, and ready for them to come a'knockin'.

I think she likely isn't alone in this predicament. And so I thought I might go ahead and make the offer to all of you that I did to her. (My first suggestion was that she just stare out the window at the person on her porch until they went away. Maybe go to the kitchen first, and grab a banana, or something, and eat it while calmly staring the person/people down. But that isn't her style. I think it'd be awesome all the same. So if you can do that sort of thing, DO IT. And then come tell me about how it worked out. You would be my personal hero, if that helps you at all.)

Instead, I suggested that she print out a picture of my face from this picture:

And then print out this picture of me drinking a vodka drink:

And put them on opposite sides of a stick. (I picture something like a paint stirrer, here.)

When annoying person comes to your door, ignoring the idea that maybe you have a barky dog (which they, DUH, know because said barky dog is now barking it's ass off at them) and oh hey!, might also have a sleeping baby in another room (which has now been successfully and rudely awakened by the barky dog, thanks), it's time for the "Annoyed Faith/Now I'm Drinking and You Can Fuck Off! Faith" stick person that gets held up in the window.

I'd start with the annoyed side. And then if the person doesn't take that as a hint, surprise! I've got a drink, and you can just fuck off now!

I think this might be wildly successful, so feel free to use my images to your advantage in any situation where you don't want to talk. I'd imagine it could be helpful in such situations as: a blind date that isn't going well; any kind of meeting with your annoying boss where you will be blamed for someone else's mistake...again; discussions with your father-in-law about anything pertaining to female rights (that one might just apply to me...not sure); etc...

Ok, so good luck, go forth and roll my eyes at annoying people, and let's have some fun, shall we? WOO!

Monday, October 01, 2012

Destruction and weakness...not my favorite things.

I spent all of last week going up and down on the fever scale, mostly unable to eat, which then lead to me having a very hard time taking medicine that might help, which then lead to me throwing up.

I had an appointment with my neurologist on Friday morning that wiped me out (leaving the house to go anywhere at all was pretty taxing), but he requested some blood tests that I'm hoping will give me some answers.

Today, I'm exhausted from something as simple as walking in to my office from the parking garage 50 feet away. I'm hot. I don't know when I'll be able to work out again, which is terrifying to me, because it's almost like I can feel the hard work I've been doing for years just melt away in the past 10 days. Going up a set of stairs winds me so much, I need to lean on a counter to recover! So how the fuck will I be able to get on a treadmill again anytime soon???

My appetite has kind of returned. I'm hungry for very specific things, and I'm trying to keep it bland for the time being. I can generally only eat half of what's put in front of me, if that. But not throwing it up is a plus in my book, and the fact that there's nourishment staying in my stomach for long stretches at a time is keeping me hopeful that soon my body will be back to being able to do cardio/weight work...oh hell, that I can do something as simple as walk up the stairs to my car in the parking garage again soon, instead of taking the elevator!

I'm pretty hard on myself, I think. I don't know why that's the case, but I know it's true. I still felt pretty fucking crappy as of Saturday morning because, while my appetite seemed to be slowly returning, and my fever was disappearing, I still had the headache I'd had for over 6 days. And that can be MADDENING, even to someone like me who is pretty well-versed in the whole dealing with the pain in the head dealio.

So why am I so upset with myself for having to cancel on my personal trainer this morning at 4:30 a.m. when I realized that it was a pretty bad idea to think I could jump back in to a schedule like that so quickly after having been so ill?

Dunno. I just am.

I just have to remember that this virus stuff...sometimes it lasts longer than a week. I might still be fighting it. And that's not my fault! None of this is my fault. It's just part of being a human...

::sigh:: It really sucks to be a human sometimes.