Friday, January 18, 2013

Coming clean: I'm on a diet.

Totally unrelated to any ass issues that might or might not happen again…


I’m on a new diet. This is not a “lifestyle”, or a “new way of eating” or any of those other flowery ways to put it.

Straight up, I am a bitch on a DIET.

Why am I doing it now? I don’t know. I kinda wanna look awesome when I hit 40 next year. I wanna not have to go get lipo and a full body tuck in order to be a size 14 again.

I wanna BE a size 14 again.

Anyway, I was seeing those Medifast commercials over the first couple of weeks of the year…you know, the ones where a chubbier version of the person is talking to the skinnier version of themselves, and vice versa, and aside from striking me as a really weird way of having to do a before and after for a diet program, it just seemed like they’re such normal people. People who look like I do right now in their “before” half of the conversation. So I looked it up online.

And I decided to give it a try.

It is HARD. I can’t sugarcoat it. It starts out with what they call the 5/1 plan, where I eat 5 of their packaged meals (which, yes, packaged and processed goes against everything I have been doing for the past 2 years, admittedly. I’m trying not to let it get to me too much) and then 1 “lean and green” meal that consists of a certain amount of meat (depends on the fattiness of the piece of meat…like 98% fat free ground turkey breast is ok at 7 oz per day vs salmon which would be only 5 oz, and then there are variants in between…) and a certain type/amount of a veggie. If you want details, it’s all free on their website. You can go check it out…I’m not gonna re-write it all here. But here are some basics:

Each Medifast meal is about 100 calories. I eat one for breakfast at about 7 a.m. I eat another one for a snack at about 9:30 a.m. I eat one for lunch at about 12 p.m. And then I eat one for a later snack at about 3:45 or 4.

And then I eat dinner. Glorious, wonderful, faaaabulous DINNER. ::cue singing angels::

So far this week, I’ve had a chicken breast (which Leo did up with a balsamic glaze type thing that was YUMMY) and lightly sautéed zucchini, and then last night I had salmon with a pile of romaine and spinach mix tossed with a balsamic vinegar dressing of sorts that Leo also created for me. Without oil.

It was fucking DELICIOUS.

I’m sure the reason why these things taste so damned good is partially because I’ve only had 400 calories each day by the time I eat dinner (at 6 or 7 p.m….depending on the day). But it’s also because Leo is a damned good cook. And THANK GOD for that!

Tonight will be taco salad, consisting of ground buffalo (7 oz!), lettuce (1 cup), diced tomato (a couple tablespoons), a little cheddar cheese (maybe a tablespoon or two of that), and ¼ of an avocado. YUM!

And then after dinner, I’m supposed to have one more snack…they have lots of sweet options, so it’s just like dessert. No biggy.

This diet is hard because all totaled at the end of the day, I am supposed to eat no more than 800 – 1,000 calories per day, and there’s just no way around that…it is fucking HARD to do. It’s helpful that I’m eating every few hours, but still. GAH.

I’m sharing this with you all because it’s what’s happening with me right now. I’m not looking for comments on how this is like being anorexic, or how it’s not sustainable, or anything about what I should be eating instead of this packaged stuff. Maybe I’ll only be able to do it for a week. Maybe I’ll be able to do it for months. Who knows?

Today is just day 3, so we’ll see how it all goes from here.

The point is that I need the structure. I need the strictness. At this age and stage in my life, apparently I need very few calories in order to lose weight, and as much as I want to be able to do it on my own with standard, non-packaged food, it's not happening. I'm going to be 400 pounds by the time I turn 60 if I don't do something about it now.

I still exercise, but not as much for the time being, since I’m running so much lower on a daily calorie amount. I see my trainer twice a week, and then I walk 2 or 3 more times a week on the treadmill for 30 -40 minutes. The idea is to keep my body in what’s called ketosis. Here’s how it’s described on their website: “On the 5 & 1 Plan, an individual can expect to take in less than 100 grams of total carbohydrates per day (generally in the range of 75-95 grams total). This lower level of carbohydrates, coupled with the reduced calorie level of the Medifast 5 & 1 Plan, allows your body to enter the fat- burning state, also known as a very mild "dietary ketosis." This causes the body's fat stores to release free fatty acids, which are then converted by the liver into an energy source called ketones. This mild dietary fat-burning state helps the body achieve faster weight loss while helping preserve muscle tissue. The fat-burning state also helps naturally reduce appetite and hunger while still allowing you to feel sufficient levels of energy.”

Wish me luck. (And maybe stay away from me at around 5 or 5:30 each day…that’s when I’m my least-approachable, it seems. I can manage through all the rest of the day ok, but that stretch right before eating my actual MEAL of the day? It’s like I’m a tiger that hasn’t eaten in a month. Not attractive!)

2 comments:

Donna said...

I'll wish you luck if you wish me luck. However, I never use that four-letter word. I just call it "eating right". Since I have repeatedly gained and lost weight for my whole life, this probably doesn't help. So don't worry about the D word.

Pam said...

Good luck to you! I'm 60, and last year I lost 30 pounds and my husband lost 60. He's close to his goal weight and I have about 20 to go. He doesn't drink and I do, which makes a huge difference. We just cut out soda and processed foods and red meat most nights, added proteins and lots of veggies, and keep food journals to keep us honest. And we have been sore since last year from working out! Interval training is key.