Monday, May 25, 2015

So, the deck project.

Back in way, way last year, or so, we painted our porch again, because it looked like shit. The year before, we had it patched up because bits of the deck were rotting and splintering and looking terrible, and we had it painted then, too.
Basically, someone fucked up and painted the porch with an oil-based paint at one point before we bought the place. And when you paint a porch with oil-based paint once, you paint it with oil-based paint EVERY FUCKING YEAR AFTER THAT. Unless you don't mind having a shitty looking porch. That's always an option, too. I never judge a house by it's painted porch, because I have lived through this bullshit, man. I know how much it sucks.
Anyway, we knew from the initial inspection on the house that the main bolts that connected the porch to the house were insufficient, and were bound to fail. At some point. Not sure when. The whole thing just got to the point where it seemed like a giant pile of kindling attached to the back of our house. So we made the decision to have it replaced this winter. This is what it used to look like:

 This is what it looked like after a particularly pretty snowfall in 2013:
We were tired of shoveling it, we were tired of painting it and constantly worrying about it falling off the house eventually, and we love hanging out on covered decks/screened-in porches when we get the chance, so we decided that's what we wanted to do. So we started that process up during a particularly lovely January 2015. WOOHOO!

They put up this little board across the door to keep us from accidentally walking out into a 5 foot drop once they tore the actual deck off. Which I thought was decent of them.
Ironically, the guy doing the work was the guy who helped build the deck back in the 80's, when the house was built. On day one, I heard him out there saying, "Holy shit, man! What were you thinking?" to himself. It was pretty funny. He was an apprentice back then, and I guess that whoever he was working under wasn't a super-great teacher. Fortunately, since then, he's gained some mad building skills. (I hope...)
The front of the deck/porch had a big planter built into it. It was lovely, but dated. And having that thing torn out was almost as satisfying as a good orgasm.

Ok, let me be honest...almost ALL demo of old, outdated shit is as satisfying as a good orgasm! In case you were unaware.
Here are the lumps of leftover planter bits after all the wood was removed. They were frozen there. And looked so, sooo gross to me. Blech.
 Something fun we discovered was that a big window in our living room had been installed incorrectly, and the whole support beam under it was rotting! And had been a great environment for termites! YAY!

So, so fucking PRETTY. UGH.
Discoveries like that are NOT a satisfying part of demo. For a day, we were concerned that the damage continued around the corner there, along a very long length of our house, and I might've had lots more wine than usual that night. But it turned out ok.

That was demo. Tomorrow or Wednesday, I'll post about the rebuild. Because the new deck is so amazing. It deserves it's own post. Plus it's 5 p.m. now, and that means it's quittin' time! Later!

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