Frighteningly Uncommon Sense

Weening. Weaning? Fuck it...I'm trying to cut back my meds. THERE.

2012-01-31T11:18:00.002-06:00

Did you ever start writing a post, and then realize about 3/4 of the way through that it was really boring, and just...delete that shit?

Yeah. Just did that.

Basically, I'm trying to taper off my cluster headache meds. For the 2nd time. I'm hopeful that it will work this time, but I'm feeling headachey and fuzzy today. (I started the taper on Sunday.)

::sigh:: I'm afraid I'm gonna be on this shit forever. :/

That might've been a catastrophic mistake for a Saturday night, in restrospect.

2012-01-30T13:12:00.003-06:00

Saturday night, as Leo and I finished our final drinks and waited on our to-go food from the bar we hang out at now (Nick & Jake's on 135th, in case anyone is wondering. The bar scene there on a Saturday night is mildly ridiculous.), we talked about what movie we were gonna watch when we got home.

We had both "The Change-Up" and "Inside Job" waiting for us in our basement.

Now, perhaps a good majority of you have seen both of those movies, and know instantly what would be a good pick when it comes to finishing off a nice, lighthearted night of good fun, peoplewatching, and yummy food.

We discussed it, briefly, and decided on watching The Change-Up, because we wanted the humor. Leo had initially talked about watching it on Sunday night, is the thing. So that's why there was any discussion at all about it.

Anyway...

The Change-Up is goofy. When a movie begins with a kid basically shitting in his dad's mouth, you know you're in for some random good times.

And then, last night, we popped in Inside Job. Leo seemed wary about watching a documentary. He asked, "Who picked this one out, and why?" when it was first starting. But then the title music kicked in, and it was Peter Gabriel singing "Big Time", and there were ridiculously crazy things being said by seemingly very important financial people about the whole "housing bubble" of 2005 - 2007, and we were hooked.

Guys. GUYS. ::staring intently at all readers:: This movie made me cry. It made me mad. It made me want to punch a few hundred people. (Don't worry...not you!) (Unless you're Ben Bernanke or Larry Summers. Then I definitely want to hit you in the face. Just sayin'.)

Watch that movie, if you haven't yet. It might've been a bigger slap in my face because I worked for one of the companies involved in a large part of the whole subprime debacle that was going on, and dammit guys, I was so fucking proud of that company when I worked there. I left on a sour note because, in spite of their ability to be funding over 14 billion dollars worth of loans per month, they couldn't manage to give me the $2000 per year raise I was asking for. Well, and because of a lot of other things, too. But still...that was a big part of it.

And now they don't exist anymore.

But I think it was a good movie for other reasons, too. Leo learned a lot from watching it. I learned a lot. Yes, it left me wanting to maim certain members of the financial elite in Washington DC/New York. But in a good way, really...

Is there such a thing as a mini semi-midlife crisis?

2012-01-26T13:24:00.002-06:00

This week has been a long one, even though I can't believe it's already Thursday.

I'm apathetic about work. Running late in the morning? Meh. Putting off tasks for a couple of days? No one seems to care. Daydreaming and reading the internet a little bit more than I probably should be? Oh well. At least I'm here!

::sigh::

I feel like my passion is gone. And it's no fun to be doing stuff you aren't passionate about anymore.

I want to open my furniture business, or become a landlord of a property. Or hell, delivering stuff might be a fun change!

I don't know. I've had mini semi-midlife crises like this before, but this one jut sucks because I really, really like my coworkers a lot. And I just celebrated my 5 year anniversary, and that's something to be damned proud of! And...my health insurance is pretty ok...? I dunno. I really don't.

Every morning it's a struggle to get out of bed. Every day, it's a struggle to keep doing my work I'm supposed to be doing. It all just feels wrong, dammit.

Ok, this week is better. So far. ::glances warily at rest of week::

2012-01-23T16:22:00.003-06:00

Since this week isn't kicking off with a sudden snowstorm trapping me (and the Twin and stuff) in a small-ish airport with a bunch of strangers, it's already an improvement on last week.

Leo is sick, though. He was sick all weekend, actually, which meant we spent a lot of time watching basketball and football in our cozy basement, so maybe my Monday is all relative at this point. Not sure.

And we even had a fire evac in our building this morning (there was smoke in one of our lab locations downstairs, so we had to call in the sexay, sexay fire team from down the street and get everyone out for a bit...), and it STILL is a pretty darned good day.

That said, it might be that my whole switch to a Primal Blueprint way of life is already effecting my mood, and shit. Saturday, while Leo huddled under a blanket and watched TV, I went to the gym, washed the dishes, and did two loads of laundry (washed, dried, AND folded). I took little breaks here and there, checking to make sure he wasn't dead, and watching bits of games myself. But for the most part, I was moving around from 9 a.m. until 9 p.m., when I finally gave up for the day and we watched a few episodes of season one of Walking Dead. (So. gross. But still so good!) Sunday was a little more lazy, but then I went grocery shopping, and came home to prep veggie snacks for the week, clean out the fridge a bit, and boil some eggs for snacks/meals. So I still got a fair amount of stuff done.

If anyone is interested, I'm already gung ho about recommending this lifestyle. I've been working my way over to it (slowly at times, 100% at others...) for the past 3 weeks, and I feel fab. You can visit Mark's Daily Apple for more info. Here's the link to his "Primal Blueprint 101" where you can get all kinds of info about the ins and outs of how to live Primal.

I've lost 4 pounds thus far. And while weight loss is somewhat important to me, overall, the bigger deal is that I haven't had any problems with my gallbladder lately. My level of hunger is much more manageable than it's ever been before. I'm looking forward to more benefits from the lifestyle over time, like with my stress levels and stuff. But for the time being, I feel really great about my decision to switch over to it.

I'll be updating on this from time to time, but it won't be overwhelmingly present out here. Just let me know if you have any questions, and I'm happy to answer them as best I can for the time being...

Totally different post than I had intended.

2012-01-20T08:35:00.003-06:00

People are being dicks today. Like, out of the blue.

Ok, that's a bit of an overstatement. ONE person is being a dick today, and I don't understand why. I've apologized if I offended them, in a sincere manner. And all I got in return was a terse reply that clearly showed they didn't accept my apology.

So now I'm on the verge of tears at work.

Which is obviously the best way to kick off a Friday morning!

Good GOD, what I wouldn't give for a Diet Coke and a muffin right now. But Diet Cokes hurt my stomach/make me nauseous. And muffins are full of sugar and evil. ::sigh::

I literally have a sad face. Like this: =( This sucks.

"I didn't know who she was..."

2012-01-19T10:24:00.002-06:00

I just heard someone in the kitchen by my desk (where today's potluck will take place) telling my coworker that she just deleted my invite to the potluck because she didn't know who I was.

Um. Yeah. :/

There are two whole admins that work for our department here in Kansas. And then the rest are all in Virginia.

TWO of us.

I'm mildly offended right now, and you can bet your ass that I'll be finding out who that chick was, and if she ever comes looking for my help with supplies or a meeting with ONE OF MY 3 BOSSES, she might run into a short wall when she does it.

Get to know who your admins are, people. We ain't chopped liver, for fuck's sake.

A little behind...

2012-01-18T12:33:00.002-06:00

I'm back.

But my trip was extended by a day, thanks to a well-timed snowstorm that moved into Steamboat Springs on Monday.

So I'm catching up at work.

And haven't had time to even think much about anything other than fixing meetings, replying to emails, and dealing with questions about a potluck I'm organizing that's happening Thursday. (It's a potluck, people. Bring whateverthefuck ya want. It's called a "potluck" for a reason.)

I hope to be more on track by the end of this week. But really, I just wanted to push down those pics of me in bed that have been up for the past 5 days. I mean, I like me, and I think I'm cute, and everything...but there's a limit, is all.

Pictures of me in bed, as promised!

2012-01-12T12:45:00.002-06:00

Ok, I haven't taken a picture of myself after getting my hair done in a long time. So last weekend, I got my hair done on Saturday, and I had promised some friends of mine that I'd take updated pics. But I forgot. Until we were about to go to bed, that is.

So Leo got the camera and started shooting away!

I wasn't ready yet!

In this photo, it might look like I'm being all emo, and trying to pose for an updated "I'm too cool for Facebook, but as long as I HAVE TO be out here, I might as well take updated photos of myself. ::sigh::" profile photo, but really, I was just trying to get into position for a new photo, and Leo snapped too early. Plus, I'm not on Facebook. And I haven't been emo in yeeaaarrrs. I'm on Prozac, and everything!

Finally, we got a shot that seemed to capture the awesomeness that is my hair on a night after I've just had it done. I wanna have a hairdresser in my bathroom all the time, dammit. She makes my hair look so damned good! Unfortunately, she is not able to help with that double chin/fat neck issue, but baby steps people. Baby. steps.

I'm off after today. The Twin and her daughters are meeting up with Leo and I in Denver tomorrow and then we're flying up to (across to? DOWN to? I don't really know...) Steamboat Springs for a weekend ski trip. I haven't been skiing since I was about 20, so I'm losing my MIND with excitement, and cannot wait to go!

Leo, on the other hand, believes that there are about 120,435,678 ways to die while on skis, and it's been somewhat of a job trying to keep his ass calm leading up to the trip itself. Dude has never learned how to ski before, so we have lessons lined up, and everything. I asked him to just give it a chance before he condemns it 100%, and seemed to agree with that for the time being.

So wish us luck! Have a great weekend...

Probability of finding a dead body? I'd say maybe 50/50, these days.

2012-01-11T14:11:00.002-06:00

I left work a bit late last night. It was probably about 5:15 by the time I got out to the garage, and so a majority of people had already left the parking lot.

My car was one of the only ones left in its part of the lot I'd parked in. And as I walked toward it, I noticed a car off in a corner across the aisle from my spot that was sitting quietly with the driver side door open wide. No one was near it. All the cars around it (aside from my own) were already gone.

It was a little weird.

So I grabbed my phone, put my purse in my car, and dialed the security office for my company. As I waited for them to answer, I approached the car, and looked inside.

Not gonna lie, I was mildly worried about finding someone passed out somewhere in it. Or worse...possibly dead.

I know, I know! A little extreme on my part! But hey, when I didn't find anything like that, my relief was that much more palpable! So really, its good for me in the long run.

I didn't hear anyone pounding for help from the trunk, so that was good too, I guess. So I reported the color, make, model and license plate for the car, and the security guy said he'd send someone out to see what was up.

I wound up waiting a bit for the security people to come, and when they arrived I said, "It's weird, right?" And the chick just nodded with her eyes open a bit wide. I was surprised that no one else had called security to alert them to the weird sight, and she agreed. The car was even parked next to an emergency phone that happens to be located at that end of the lot. It has a bright blue light on it and says something like "Report Emergencies" above it, and shit. And no one had thought to use it. (I have the security office phone number programmed into my phone because I'm an employee safety agent for my building here, so it was easy for me to call, really.)

Anyway, I hope it was just a random and strange issue where someone accidentally left their door open like that, and didn't notice they'd done it. (Leo did that once to my car, albeit in our own garage at home. It was strange, IMO, but then again, he's often leaving all kinds of doors open all over the house. Mostly on the cupboards in the kitchen. I tell him it's like living with a freaking poltergeist sometimes.) Maybe the owner abandoned the car, for whatever reason. It looked very clean inside when I checked it out. So I guess that's a possibility.

Maybe someone had stolen it, and realized as they were driving it away, "Hey, this is kind of a shitty-ass car. Why did I steal this again?" and pulled into what they felt was a safe place to "hide" it before they walked out to 119th Street and caught a bus. I dunno.

Regardless, it was gone this morning. So someone either claimed it, or security had it towed away.

I'm sad that I don't know the outcome of the minor mystery. ::sigh::

Tomorrow is my Friday this week. I'll post some fun pictures before I head out on my mini-vacation, and hope it entertains everyone sufficiently. They're of me! IN BED! Woohoo...

Um, that's my accountant's building. O_o

2012-01-10T13:36:00.002-06:00

Just saw a news story on the local ABC affiliate about a dude that's going into offices when people are out at lunch, and stealing wallets and laptops and stuff.

I immediately recognized the lobby of the building they have a picture of the dude from as my accountant's building. He's in a large office with several other associates, but still...is this something I should worry about?

Or am I being weird? (As usual...)

This is a pretty big milestone for me.

2012-01-09T10:22:00.003-06:00

Today is my 5 year anniversary at work.

It feels like just yesterday I was meeting with my original boss for an interview, and walking out with the hopes that I did well enough to snag a job I'd always wanted to have, ever since I moved to Kansas City.

This is the longest I've ever been in one place in my career, and I'm pretty sure it's where I'll be finishing out my time as an executive assistant, before moving on to bigger and scarier and more entrepeneurial endeavors sometime in the future.

I've officially been an admin/exec assistant for a total of about 15 years now. I've had shitty bosses/coworkers, and I've had awesome bosses and coworkers. I'm happy to say that I'm currently in the awesome camp, and I couldn't be more proud of the company I work for, to boot.

I'm a blessed assistant. I just feel so damned lucky today, yo. =)

Its not that I MEAN to have a favorite...

2012-01-06T09:59:00.002-06:00

I love both of our dogs. They are one in the same, in my book. Wherever the one goes, the other shall follow. That sort of thing.

That said, Jake tends to be the more entertaining of the two. And so more pictures of him get taken. It's just unavoidable!

Last weekend, we had a couple of very good friends in town for the New Year holiday. We had a faaaabulous dinner on New Year's Day and we decided it would be best eaten at the dining table in the dining room. Jake and Izzy had never seen us sit down there for a meal (we generally put them in boarding when we have folks over to the house for any kind of celebration/dinner party type thing), and they weren't quite sure how to behave.

Jake thought his place was at the table with us...
Actually, he'd jumped up on a totally different chair next to our friend Lloyd earlier in the dinner, but I didn't have a chance to shoot a pic of it. And then we pushed all the empty chairs in so there wasn't room for him to jump up on them, and he was fine with that. He just jumped up onto the table itself.

::sigh::

We got him down, and throughout dinner, we managed to keep him on the floor with Izzy instead of as a centerpiece on the table.

As things were winding down, though, he found the chair at the head of the table was out enough for him to sit on. And as we were all done with our yummy steaks and green beans and sweet potatoes, we were fine with him being there, really.

But he got bored...

Poor dude! Oh well...

Later that night, we were catching up on videos online, drinking lot of wine, and listening to bowl games in the background. Alisha was holding Izzy in her lap, because Izzy wanted to be in her lap. And then Jake decided he wanted to be, too! So he just jumped up there, and sat down! Alisha was a good sport. Unfortunately, she turned evil as she slept that night, and all throughout the next day, Jake kept randomly stopping and growling at her as she napped, or as we watched TV, or as we just sat and chatted. Must've been the skull and crossbone pants, eh? :D

Because obviously this little guy can't be wrong about someone's level of evil, right? I mean, lookit him!!!

I might've wanted to stuff him into my purse and bring him into the office today with me...maybe. But I managed to get out of the house without smuggling him along with. SO CUTE.

Happy Friday, mutherfuckers.

Midweek Observations

2012-01-04T15:53:00.002-06:00

There is something going on at the restaurant space where the TGIFridays used to be on Roe at 119th. They've refaced the entrance, and parts of the other outside walls. There was a food service truck there today, albeit a small one that wasn't delivering a TON of food...but some food. I WANNA KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO BE THERE!!! Is it the fabled Oklahoma Joe's location my husband told me about a few months ago? Because that would be fucking awesome.

I had a Diet Coke with my lunch today. I'm sure I'll regret it, but it tasted sooooo gooooood. Why does my stomach have to be such a dick, not wanting me to drink Diet Coke anymore, and stuff? It's not fair.

I've started eating according to something called the Primal Blueprint, which you can read about on this website here. Near as I can figure, it's the same thing as that paleo thing, except dairy is more acceptable with it. I feel pretty good so far. I've only been tracking my food intake for the last 2 days, but I already fel like I've lost 5 pounds. Which I'm sure isn't the case, but seriously...I feel like I have. It's an odd deal.

This week is a short week...only 4 days due to the holiday that kicked things off Monday. Next week will also be a short week for me, as I'm taking Friday off so leo and I can fly out to Colorado to meet the Twin and her daughters for a ski trip in Steamboat Springs for the weekend. And since the following Monday is a holiday for my office, it will ALSO be a short week during the week of the 16th. I'm inordinately excited about all the 4 day weeks, dammit.

Patton Oswalt might be the funniest man alive. Over the last few days we've been listening to a couple of his most recent standup albums he's released, and he really, really, really makes us laugh. HARD. If you don't know who he is, or haven't listened to much of his standup, go. Buy it. It is so worth it, it's hard for me to describe it properly.

That's it for today...so far, anyway.

Investors welcome!

2012-01-03T12:36:00.003-06:00

We have come up with an idea. An idea that is a notch above the rest that are anything like it!

We call it the "Eternally Comfy". It will be made of a water-repellant fleece material that zips conveniently up the front, and snaps in the crotch for those moments when you exceed your beer capacity, and just can't seem to hold it any longer.

Attached mittens at the end of each arm ensure that you can move easily from the couch to the garden to the front porch for hot chocolate with the neighbors, without getting cold hands. When you're back inside, just pull the mittens off the hands and tuck into the convenient mitten pocket inside the Eternally Comfy's cuff. So easy!

So comfy.

Instead of a bulky hood that can easily slide off your head in a stiff breeze, the Eternally Comfy is furnished with a detachable full head mask that covers your face like the Eternally Comfy ninja that you've always hoped to be. This makes the Eternally Comfy the first product of it's kind to be interculturally-friendly. Now all Muslim women can also join in the comfy fun and still remain faithful to God!

But that's not all. We also will offer the "Eternally Comfy: Sport" product.

Have you been wishing for a more comfort-filled way to play touch football with your pals? Or maybe the tennis court is just a little too cold for you to head out and have a match with your favorite partner mid-January. Perhaps you're in the mood for a jog, but the air outside has gotten a bit too nippy for you to enjoy the endorphin rush properly?

The Eternally Comfy: Sport is the comfy product you need! All the same comfort as the original Eternally Comfy, but with sporty stripes up the sides of the leg, and ventilation grommets in the armpit and crotch area! Amazing!!!

So get in touch with me now in order to get in on this groundbreaking new idea. Don't let this opportunity pass you by! You'll kick yourself if you do. (Which would be much more comfortable of a process if you were wearing the Eternally Comfy...)

Holidays can be rough.

2011-12-28T08:56:00.003-06:00

So I got a cluster headache over the course of the weekend.

It sucked.

I finally got rid of it yesterday after I took a pain pill, and had a nap. (Zen fired ze missiles!)

I had a terrible dream last night where my mom and dad were central characters, and they both were basically telling me that I sucked as a human being, and they liked me the least out of any of their kids.

So far, it's been a rough week, is my point.

We have friends coming to town this weekend to stay with us, though, so that's definitely something to look forward to. I'm trying to focus on that, dammit!

I'm sure my parents didn't hate me. I just hate that my brain is trying to convince me that they did...

I love puppies. Puppies are my favorite.

2011-12-22T12:08:00.002-06:00

Jake has this funny habit that he does that kind of cracks me up. (Mind you, I'm relatively easily entertained, especially when it comes to my dogs, but still...) He likes to nap up on top of the couch cushions on the back of the couch. And when he wakes up and gets down off the cushion, he often moves his body halfway off, and then stops. With his back half still in a relaxed position up on top. Like this:

(GOD, we love that snaggletooth! Hahahaha!) It's a bit odd, especially because he can stand like that for a good 5 minutes, just looking around, or whatever it is that he's doing. Maybe he's internally plotting to take over the world. I dunno.

The other day, the Twin was sending me disturbing photos of a girl she had seen out in public who's pants were...not a good fit. And so I returned the favor by sending her pictures of the dogs being weird. Jake was up in his usual position, and suddenly started looking for something down on the cushion next to me. There wasn't anything there, but still...he was totally sure he would find something! By the time he gave up, he was half on/half off the back cushion, and this time, he's gotten himself into the crack between my back cushion and the one he usually lies on. He just...stopped doing anything, and I pet him, and he looked around and just stood there. I was all, "Are ya stuck, little man?" And he just did a big SIGH thing like he does so often. So I took a picture...

And sent it to the Twin, letting her know that Jake was stuck. And didn't seem to be in any major hurry to get loose.

And when the puppies nap together in ways that are undeniably goofy and still cute at the same time? I just cannot resist taking a picture. Here's Izzy sleeping as she has her paws around Jake's ass, for example:
They "fight" over that cushion in subtle ways, and in this case, I think it's clear that Jake won the majority rule of the cushion for the nap. But Izzy just worked around it, dammit.

I love my adorable puppehs!

Grinchy? A little, I s'pose...

2011-12-19T08:50:00.002-06:00

Someone in the office, not far from my desk (must be on the next row over, or something) is playing Christmas music at their desk.

Um, just don't. Do NOT be that coworker. ::shaking head::

So I currently have my headphones on, and I'm rocking out to something called "Pop Dance". It's a mix that Rich offered for download on his blog maybe 2 years ago? I'd guess. I can't really remember. But MAN, it is better than listening to the many different renditions of White Christmas there are available. GAH.

BRING OUTCHER DEAD!...I'm not dead!

2011-12-15T10:52:00.002-06:00

I think my acupuncturist/chiropractor might be a peddler of magical potions. Dude has helped to fix my gallbladder issues, and also gave me some immune system support stuff when I saw him on Monday that has totally turned my cold on it's head. Yesterday, I felt a gazillion percent better than I did Tuesday. By last night, my voice was almost back to normal, even.

I love alternative therapies!

Anyway, the plague didn't keep me down for long. I still have a bit of a phlegm issue, but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm free of meds today, too. Woohoo!

And here we are at the almost end of the week. Have you finished your holiday shopping yet? Because I haven't! And things that I've ordered are on backorder even though they didn't say anything about being on backorder when I ordered them, and I think that is a sneaky, sneaky trick that isn't really fair to do to people around this time of year, you know? Anyway, I have a few more things to buy, so I need to step up my game, dammit! Leo and I are having a low key Christmas this year, because the house pretty much is sucking our savings account to a dryer level than I prefer, and I'd rather have a few little presents to exchange, and then one big awesome dinner than anything else. It's been hard for him to control himself apparently.

Whereas I have a hard time even coming up with ideas for gifts for him. I suck at this.

Anyway, happy Thursday. Hopefully you've successfully avoided the plague, and have an easier time of buying gifts for your loved ones than I do. :)

Video evidence of me being a Sick-head McSickypants.

2011-12-13T18:18:00.003-06:00

I suck at this Secret Santa thing.

2011-12-09T15:33:00.002-06:00

I've been searching all week for the perfect Secret Santa gift for a friend of mine.

Problem is, I keep finding stuff that I want for myself, and can't find anything appropriate for my friend!

Clearly, I suck at this. ::sigh::

I bet I'd feel better about myself after drinking plenty of champagne out of these, though...

He is just a little plaything...don't you wanna make him stay up late?

2011-12-08T16:40:00.002-06:00

I think this is the year when my head will just explode with all the information, headaches, and congestion built up inside of it. I just realized it today. Because things that should be more obvious to me aren't coming to the forefront of my brain until 20 minutes later, or so.

Like this telemarketer that called the house last week. It was Friday night. I was about to head to the basement to drink myself a wee bit silly with beers while watching movies with Leo. Then this dude calls from some "resort" number somewhere. He tells me that it is my lucky day, and he's about to blow my mind.

First of all, way to take the classy route to the whole telemarketing thing, man. Nice.

Second of all, it is Friday motherfucking night at about 6:30 p.m. I don't care what you have to offer me, there ain't no way it's gonna blow my mind more than a Boulevard Wheat, a steak fajita, and watching the movie "Paul" is going to. I'm sure of it. I told him almost as much, and then asked him to remove us from their list.

And then I went to the bathroom, and came up with all kinds of better respones I could've given him!

"Oh, sorry! My husband already did that for me, so I'm good for now."

"I had my mind blown on Wednesday. Right now, you're actually just talking to a leftover, bloody spinal chord stump. Don't ask me how, though. I've been trying to figure it out since Wednesday, but it's really hard to do with a blown mind."

"Wait a minute...is this Hitler?"

I don't know why all these things come to me AFTER the fact. And then I start thinking about how after saying something like that to the telemarketer dude, he may be sad he didn't sell me something, but at least he might have something to laugh about for the next hour or so.

And then I start to think about how I find myself so endlessly entertaining, and it really might be a sickness. I'm definitely sure that not everyone else I come into contact with would agree with my assessment of myself.

See? My brain is just so full of the random.

I need the holidays, dammit. It's time to slow this fucker dooowwwn.

Waiting for the Sudafed to kick in...

2011-12-06T08:42:00.002-06:00

It's quasi-meth day here in Faith's head! I woke up with a cold this morning - lovely - so I'm on drugs, and walking through the world in a zigzag patterned haze. (It's not my fault. I'm kinda dizzy. It's making things a little off-kilter is all.)

But I don't know if the cold is worse to wake up to than what Leo woke up to. I heard him stirring in bed after I finished drying my hair. And then I heard him open the door to the bedroom on his way to the living room, and I tried to catch him in time...

Me: "Don't freak out!"

Leo, almost simultaneously: "Aw, shit."

I woke up to let the dogs out at 5 a.m. So I was already aware of the snow that started falling in the early morning hours. Leo hates snow. So I wish I'd had time to soften the blow for him before he stepped out of the dark cocoon of our master bedroom into the bright living room and saw the blanket of white outside. But oh well. He's a big boy. He can handle it!

Now to see if my body can handle this cold I've somehow caught. I'm thinking a muffin from the deli downstairs might be helpful...

We call our hazard lights "invisible lights" for a reason.

2011-12-01T14:23:00.002-06:00

I just saw this story on my local portion of MSN's home page, and I'm mildly confused.

Ok, a LOT confused!

How will this work? Basically, busses in Johnson County (Kansas) are going to be trained and allowed to drive on the freeway shoulder in order to speed up their transit times.

The idea initially seems like a good one. Yay for public transport doing all it can to be efficient!

But then I started thinking about all the stupid people who will see the busses and think, "Hey! We can drive on the shoulder now? AWESOME!" and hop right over to drive there, too.

And then I started wondering just which shoulder they're talking about. The one on the far left lane? Or the one on the right?

You'd think it would automatically be the left lane. Only problem is that the route is between 95th Street and Lamar on I-35. And right before Lamar, we have this whole left hand exit thingy to an entirely different highway that heads north. If the busses aren't able to transition smoothly from the shoulder without blocking that lane, won't that fuck shit up a whole bunch?

I don't get it. ::scratches head::

Apparently, just hacking my email wasn't enough!

2011-11-30T14:27:00.002-06:00

We need buffalo meat in our house. Since we don't shop at Whole Foods anymore, it's become hard to find. The stores we tend to shop at don't sell it. So I went to order some online today...

...and promptly had my Amex card declined. So I used my Visa instead, and then went to my Amex account to see what was up. Apparently, it was on hold due to possible fraud.

Some asshole had charged something to the card in a nightclub in New York, and tickets had been purchased for a train line in Europe.

No...not charges that I've made, thanks! So they're taking care of it, and cancelling my old card and sending a new one out right away. Awesome.

Is it coincidental that this happened a few days after my email was hacked on my home computer? The home computer where our house guest took it upon themself to download a new search engine without permission, and for no apparent good reason?

Yeah, someone isn't getting invited back anytime soon, dammit. GRRRR!!!

The Entitlement Age

2011-11-29T09:20:00.002-06:00

Don't you love it when you have a young guest in your house that decides that you need to have a new search browser added to your computer system, and just adds it without asking permission?

And then they try telling you that it's a better search engine because it protects better than IE from viruses and stuff...?

But then you get a text from your brother the day after the guest fucked with your shit telling you that your email account was hacked?

That's always fun.

Ooooohhh...well, that makes sense, then.

2011-11-23T10:35:00.002-06:00

It was a gallbladder attack, I'm almost 100% sure now. My symptoms fit it all pretty well. The fact that I thought I was better yesterday, and then got taken down by the meanest, nastiest stomach ache (that crawled up into my right chest area) after simply eating a turkey sandwich for lunch was my biggest clue. But then I read about how a symptom of an attack is a headache, focused on the right side of the face? I had that, too!

Anyway, I don't think I had the flu, after all. And so far today [looks around stealthily for hidden evil waiting to attack] I'm doing all right. I went to my acupuncture appointment last night, and my doctor said that my esophogus, gallbladder, and lower intestine were all in a bad place, and he attended to them with his needles. He also gave me some physical therapy-type "homework" that I can do, and which I have been doing. And I felt tremendously better within an hour of the appointment ending.

Such amazing stuff!

So. Today, I will be leaving work early, and heading to the salon for a little mani/pedi action, and a blow out so I can be as pretty as possible for my in-laws that all arrive later today. And I'll eat sushi for lunch, and be careful about what I eat for dinner, and hopefully, my stomach will be full recovered by tomorrow.

I want mashed potatoes, dammit!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm personally thankful that the evil, horrid putridness in my stomach seems to have abated for the time being, but I really hope you all are thankful for way better stuff than that this week! :D

Hot and sour soup to the rescue!

2011-11-22T09:01:00.002-06:00

I feel 90% better today than I did yesterday. Wound up going home a bit early from work and crashing out on the couch at home. And then Leo picked up some rice and hot and sour soup for me from the Chinese place down the street from us.

And by 7 p.m., or so, I was feeling the turn around coming. I slept well last night, and woke up this morning without any problem. I ate breakfast and everything!

YAY!

My stomach is still a wee bit upset, but the nausea is gone. And IMO, it's the nausea that makes things so much harder to deal with throughout the day. SO GLAD it went away!

Bring on the Thanksgiving festivities!!!

Ah, the plague! What great timing.

2011-11-21T13:57:00.002-06:00

I have a flu bug, or e.coli, or some such shit right now. Came down with it late Saturday, thought it was just a fun IBS reaction to the salad I ate at lunch, and felt better later. But then Sunday, it hit me like a truck, and took me down while grocery shopping with Leo. I mean, not literally...I was just very, very ill-feeling all of a sudden, and wanted to go home.

Off and on I'm getting lovely waves of overwhelming nausea. But then they go away. And I get hungry. So I eat a meal, and then BAM. The plague sets in again.

I'm at work...I don't have a fever, and I've stopped myself up with enough pepto bismol that I'm comfortable enough being here. I'm not throwing up. I'm just headachey and super-tired, and right now I'm nauseous again.

Of course this had to happen the week we're getting 7 people in town for a visit. OF FUCKING COURSE.

It had better be gone by tomorrow, dammit. Or I'm gonna be pissed.

I'm Ziggy Stardust era David Bowie...be freaky deaky and get an eyepatch, man.

2011-11-18T13:57:00.002-06:00

(Leo just downloaded 2 seasons of Flight of the Conchords, and we watched the "Bowie" episode last night. Good GOD, I love those guys! Gratuitous clip for your viewing pleasure at the bottom of the post. )

Ok, so here are some fun tips for you to end the week with...

Animals Being Dicks. (If you haven't seen it yet, you're welcome. If you HAVE seen it, go look at a bunch of the GIFs all over again. This one keeps making me laugh over and over. As does this one. Aaannnd this one. ::dies::)

Olay Smooth Finish Hair Removal Duo. (I have the most sensitive skin known to man on my upper lip. I can't have it waxed, and even many home hair removal products have been known to irritate the skin to the point of making me break out after using them. So it was a great pleasure when I used the new Olay product last week, and no side-effects occurred. Except the hair-being-removed thing, which was the whole point, so I dunno if I'd call that a side-effect, per se. But in case you were wondering about it, it was awesome. Go get it. Use it. Be upper-lip hair free.)

Tired of the old stuffing recipes you've been making year in and year out during the holidays? Dude. Duuude. Try this one: Sourdough Bread Stuffing. People love it. YOU will love it. So, sooo good.

Need a ride to the airport? Or maybe you're like us, and you have family coming in from out of town soon, but they're getting in at a relatively inconvenient hour? Reserve a car ride to/from the airport instead of driving yourself. It's so calming. It's WAY more relaxing than driving yourself, especially in ucky weather! We use Overland Limousine for our airport rides. They are really reasonably priced, and the drivers are always courteous, and friendly, and on time. HIGHLY recommend them.

And now I'm off to get my work completed before the weekend hits. Happy Friday, all!

Mid-life Crisis 101

2011-11-15T10:43:00.002-06:00

So what do you do when both you AND your partner/spouse/person you share your space with harmoniously have a mid-life crisis going on? How do you fix it? What do you SAY to each other?

Most importantly, how does it all wind up working out?

Leo is flailing in his desire to go to school. The only thing it seems he’s truly enjoying right now is his ability to be creative and express his artistic notions in his ceramics class he’s taking. He can’t make sense of English, he couldn’t focus properly in order to succeed in his furniture history class, and he’s feeling very out of sorts about it all.

I don’t blame him one bit.

He told me that his therapist asked him last week what would make him satisfied? What would make him feel more satisfied with what he’s doing day to day?

I said, “Hell, I don’t even know the answer to that question! Like, sitting here thinking about what I could do that would make me feel like I’m fulfilling my position as a human being on this planet? I have no answer for that.”

I’m flailing in my enjoyment of my work as much as Leo is with this whole school issue. I still love my coworkers, and my bosses…but I feel lost. I feel unable to keep up with it all. I have more and more moments of “oops!” and less and less of the “I’m a kick-ass admin!” ones. I’m mixing up everyone’s schedules in my mind. I’m realizing once the weekend hits that I focused too much on one boss’s calendar for the following week, and I might’ve totally dropped the ball on the other ones I have under my care.

Am I getting old? Or am I just getting to a “don’t care” point that might become detrimental to all those I support? If so, does that mean it’s time to get out?

I told Leo that I really want to volunteer and help out in the community, and I think THAT would make me feel more satisfied with my life at the end of each day. He said, “But you’d basically be doing what you do already, right? Helping people?” I said it’d be different, though. Helping people by filling administrative gaps, organizing and assisting wherever needed because I have the time and willingness to do so is just so different than doing it because you’re getting paid to do it.

I hate to say it, but one of the only things keeping me in my position right now at my job is the health care. Leo said he could go get a job at the Starbucks down the street, and he could be the healthcare person for a while.

I dunno. We’re both feeling a bit useless. A bit of a need to wander, I think. And we don’t know how to fix it.

Is saving energy just a home-related activity?

2011-11-14T16:36:00.004-06:00

If I walk past one more empty conference room here at work where the lights are all full on and blazing, I might flip my lid.

Why is it so hard for people to freaking TURN OFF THE LIGHTS when they leave a room?

It's just fucking stupid, is what it is. SHEESH!

Not all leftovers are unpleasant...

2011-11-07T16:15:00.003-06:00

Last week, like all faint-hearted Americans who do not want their houses to get egged and/or TP’d on Halloween (or any night thereafter, truthfully), Leo and I went to Costco (where you can’t let on to your faint-heartedness or else YOU WILL DIE) to get some candy to hand out for our first Halloween in the new digs.

We considered shutting our lights off and ignoring the troops, however big they may be, but we haven’t lived there long enough to be completely aware of the amount of little shitness that inhabits our neighborhood. It could be a very small amount of little shits live there. But, as one of the houses (where 2 little kids live – not known yet whether they’re little shits, mind you) down the street from us was TP’d not even 2 weeks ago, we thought it best not to take any chances.

Anywho, Halloween was had, kids came and got candy, neighbors commented awesomely about the house and our couch and light fixtures they could see through the front door, and then the Chiefs won, The End.

So Leo puts the leftover bags of candy next to my purse for me to take to work with me, which I did, and I’ve been sharing the leftover bounty happily with all who pass my cube ever since.

And then Friday night, I’m chatting with Leo in the kitchen, and notice he’s eating some candy. “Where’d you get that candy?” I asked. “Nowhere.”

(I live with a 12 year old. ::sigh::)

I notice him eating more candy later, but I was about 4 beers in after abstaining for a few days last week, so I didn’t give two fucks, really. I just had more beer, and watched Bored To Death, and laughed and laughed and laughed…

Saturday morning, I went to throw something away in the kitchen garbage, and noticed a Twix wrapper on top. Prior to that, I thought Leo had maybe stashed some crappy sugary candy he likes, like the weird sour Twizzlers that came in the bag we bought. Or the random “chewy” Lemonheads that are actually just sour jelly beans in disguise. But that he probably gave me the rest to bring to work with me.

BUT NO! Dude was hiding CHOCOLATE from me somewhere, and not just chocolate, but chocolate covered caramel and crispy cookie.

WHY, Leo? WHYYYY???

No matter. He was at school. I had about 7 hours to look around for his private candy stash, although it only took me about 3 seconds to walk across the dining room to the slightly open closet doors by the stairs. I had been in there twice last week to get different coats out, but hadn’t thought to look at anything other than my coats while I was in there.

Sure enough, on the shelf above the coats, there was the big bowl that we had put all the candy in for Halloween night. I went to take it down, and felt the weight of it immediately. That bowl was FULL of candy!

Given, I've been happy about being able to enjoy it for the last couple of days, and it will be nice to have more to share with my coworkers throughout the next few weeks. But still...sneaky bastard!

We're too lazy to make up new names. (a.k.a. The Post With A Lo-hoooot of Pictures)

2011-11-03T14:09:00.011-06:00

I think we're finally done decorating the new house. We had the goal to get it taken care of prior to Thanksgiving, since we have all of Leo's family coming into town to visit us that weekend, and we needed to make sure we have plenty of beds, and towels, and plates, and ALCOHOL...you know, the essentials.

And we reached that goal! Yay! (Well, except for the alcohol part. We keep seeming to need to replenish that stock from week to week, for some reason.)

Anyway, I thought I'd show y'all the products of our hard work. Which has mostly been Leo's hard work. But I helped here and there. So I COUNT, DAMMIT.

Firstly, there was the master bath. Actual construction had to take place in there, which was a pain in the ass, but well worth it. The mirrors were all out of date, and the storage was funky, and the lights were...off. See illustration in photo of old sink area below:
See how they aren't lined up with the center of the sinks? Harder to see on the light on the left, but the one straight ahead should be obvious. (I pointed it out, just in case.) Anyway, that sort of shit drives a semi-OCD chick like myself absolutely BONKERS. So we moved the lights over to center over the sinks, installed the corner cabinet so we have someplace to put all my stuff (I'm a girl...we have a lot of stuff), and put up medicine cabinets instead of the 80's wall o' mirror.

Et voila! Ahhhh...SO much better!

This is what the master bed area looked like before we decorated and all that good stuff..

And now, it looks much more homey. That's the Twin's "Suedehead" painting above the fireplace, there. It was one of the pieces that the (fucking idiot!) mover lost, but was thankfully recovered after I was contacted directly by another customer of his that received a bunch of our stuff along with her move.

I think it's perfect in there. Her other painting that I have is up in one of our guest rooms, although I don't have a picture of it.

We have these little archways in both of our fireplaces, where the previous owners had hung these big crosses, and the one in our master bedroom has a little shelf on it. So I started looking for the perfect items to put there. The screw was still in the wall from the cross they had hung there, and I thought maybe a little hanging terrerium would be good for that space. It wasn't long before I found a link to a seller through Dooce, I think it was, and they had the perfect terreriums (and aeriums!) for me to choose from. Or maybe I just found them through a random Google search...I can't remember. Anyway, this chick named Flora Grubb has a store in LA called Flora Grubb Gardens, oddly enough, and again...perfect stuff. Very cool stuff. Go and check them out!

Here are a couple of the lovely little aeriums that I got from the site. (Aeriums are little plants that don't require soil to live. So I just squirt them every now and then with a spray bottle, and they're happy little plants!)

And this is the lovely terrerium I wound up getting. Isn't he cute!
At the other end of the bedroom is our sitting area, next to Leo's closet and the entrance to the bathroom. We still have to find an ottoman of some sort for that space. So that is one thing that's missing. Also, I want to eventually recover this couch in an outdoor fabric, and keep it in our backyard. So we'll need new chairs or a couch for that replacement in the future, but it's gonna be a while.
Off to the guest rooms!

We gave each guest room a nickname, in order to help keep them straight when discussing their decor, when we first moved in. This, for instance, is the wolf room. For obvious reasons:

And here's what it looks like now...

That's the only guest room with a king sized bed in it. It's a pretty sweet room, IMO.

Next to the wolf room is the No Light Room. So named because, well...there was no light in there before we moved in. This was what it looked like when the previous owners lived there:

I'm a fan of lamps, don't get me wrong! But I'm also a fan of being able to walk in, flip a switch, and be able to see. And while there was a switch right next to the door, we couldn't find the connection it had to any outlets in the room. None at all. It was a fake switch. We had two electricians check it out, and they both said the same thing. Weird. So we installed the chandelier from our old master bedroom in there, and now there is light!

We also put the wedding quilt that Leo's mom made for us on that bed, and it wound up looking really pretty in there. We picked up some curtains that we think complement it well, and over all, it's a lovely little room.

Lastly, there's the Guest Suite. We call it that because it's got an ensuite bathroom, whereas the no light room and the wolf room share a bath at the other end of the house. It was NOT our style at all. All the rooms upstairs were painted yellow, and it made me want to rip my eyeballs out (i.e. I'm not a fan of yellow).
I picked up the bedframe in this room from Overstock.com for a whopping $380, or some shit. It was AWESOME. It, unfortunately, didn't come with instructions for putting it together, and the customer service people were pretty heinous toward Leo when he called asking for them to be emailed or sent out or something, so I can't give them a 100% glowing review. But, nonetheless, cheap bedframe that's actually really nice quality. Take it for what you will...
The table and the chair on the other side of the room are the last two purchases we made from Home Decorators Collection, out of many, many other things that we purchased from the store after buying the house. When we bought them, one of the salepeople recognized us and asked us if everything was coming together yet. Yeah, we were in there a LOT. But they're seriously reasonable with their pricing, and have a wide variety of options. I feel lucky that they have a store just down the street! We ordered everything we wanted there, and had it sent to the store...free shipping! Leo had to make several trips to pick everything up from time to time, but otherwise, no complaints.
So that's it, dammit. No more decorating!

This year, anyway...

Can we use leaves of absence for things like "being annoyed a lot"?

2011-11-01T15:14:00.003-06:00

I had a dream last night that I was requesting a leave of absence at work. Like, just a short term one...only 2 weeks. But DAMMIT, I needed some time off.

It was so real.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed this week, is all. I am TIRED. I am easily annoyed. I am a bit put off by some of the requests being made of me, either because of their ridiculousness or because of their insensitivity toward the fact that I WORK FOR THREE PEOPLE, and that can be a bit much on any given day, much less those days when we're, I dunno, MOVING 300 people to new desks.

I feel like I walked into a trap. I feel like being asked to work for 2 people was more than I signed up for, but I was willing to work it out, and I think I did that pretty successfully.

But then they almost took advantage of me by asking me to work for one more on top of those two.

And I had no real choice other than to accept the request.

And now I'm stuck.

But, then again, it's not usually that bad of a situation. So maybe I just need to get through this week, and possibly the next, and then I'll feel better again.

But if I don't, can I tell the people that asked me to stretch this thin that I don't wanna stretch anymore? Or will they lose any remaining respect they have for me if I tell them that?

Do I care?

What? I had a lot of boxes...I built a fort. SO?

2011-10-27T14:07:00.002-06:00

We're moving at work. Not a huge distance, or anything, but moving is moving in my world. I man one of the supply "cabinets." It's not so much a "cabinet" as it is a bunch of drawers in different cabinets I keep at my desk. Anyway, point is, I have lots of shit to move with me.

Enough shit that, once I packed it all, I was able to build a small fort.
It is nice and quiet in my fort. I had a helium balloon kit from a party years ago that was stashed under my desk. Guess what? IT STILL WORKS! So I blew up some balloons to make my fort a bit more festive.

Does someone dare approach my powerful Fortress of Fry-Wagner???
Aw, that's ok. It's a smiley fortress. Hence the balloons.

YAY for being done packing! And everyone has, so far, respected the boundaries of the fort. And so my job is done here.

The snoring chronicals: part 2

2011-10-25T15:51:00.002-06:00

Remember last week when I told y'all about how Leo was snoring on Sunday night, and it was loud and obnoxious and I wanted him to STOP IT?

It happened again this week.

"HONEY. Goddammit, I'm not going through this again! Turn on your side! TURN ON YOUR SIDE!!!"

And then it hit me.

"Turn on your side!"

"Turn on your light!"

Ooooooohhhh!

Hahahahahahaha!

So I made it clear, just in case, "DON'T turn on your light, ok? I just want you to stop snoring. Turn over, dude."

This time, he turned over, and got quiet, and all was well. In the dark. Awesome. :D

Annnd, the day comes to a halting STOP.

2011-10-21T13:02:00.002-06:00

The Twin is at the cemetary right now, wanting to change my mom and dad's separate headstones to one single headstone, with a picture of the both of them on it.

So she needed all us kids to text her our "ok" on the plan. I approve, so I replied as such.

The she sent the picture she plans to put on the new headstone, and...

...well, now instead of being a productive, gettin'-work-done admin, I'm a blubbery mess.

Good GOD, I miss my parents!

It's bound to just get stolen by some bully kid up the block, anyway.

2011-10-18T12:53:00.003-06:00

"Holy crap! A Green Machine! Wait...does it have an engine on it?"

Leo was reading the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog last night when I got home from work. The front cover was sporting a picture that brought vivid memories rushing back from my past. There was a Green Machine on it, and it looked amazingly similar to a Green Machine we had around the house - likely, it belonged to our brother - when I was a kid.

The Twin and I both had Big Wheels, but I'm sure that my brother had a Green Machine at one point. There wasn't a huge difference between the two bikes, except that the Green Machine was steered through the use of two pully-type handles instead of handlebars. It could be a bit confusing to a kid without much coordination, I'd think.

The Big Wheel was very user-friendly, and allowed the Twin and I to zoom around the back yard, around the pool in dangerously-close-to-the-edge patterns, as well as through a chalk "street" that we drew from the front driveway all the way through the back yard.

I can't remember ever being on Joey's Green Machine, but I remember it being there. How can you forget a bike like this?

So, anyway, Leo gave me the Hammacher Schlemmer, and I went through it to find the Green Machine and see how much it was. (Leo said he wanted one. So I needed to find out how silly that idea really was.) In the process, I found a GIANT Ugly Doll that I wanted for myself. "OOH! Ok, I will get you the Green Machine, if I can get this gigantor Ugly Doll for myself," I said to Leo.

"OK!" he replied.

"Aw...it's $700! Jeezy...no giant Ugly Doll for me. Booo..."

And then I finally found the page with the Green Machine info. I started reading it out loud to Leo, emphasizing the awesomeness of the Hammacher replica being so similar to the original toy, the designer of the Green Machine from the 70's apparently wanted to see the two bikes side by side!

How cute!

And then I continued to read about how it had some sort of amazing...Harley engine in it, which gave it 60 horsepower? AND speeds up to 50 MPH??? And I was all, "Wait a minu..." as I looked at the price.

"SEVENTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS? Oh, come on, man!" Leo was laughing at me and reminding me that all I wanted was the giant Ugly Doll, and then he could have his Green Machine...

You fooled me, Hammacher Schlemmer! You didn't have a picture of a human on the bike in the catalog, so I thought it was a nice, small-sized Green Machine that maybe was gonna cost something like $1,000.

But ohhooo no! Nope, you have to have the $75,000 Green Machine, eh?

Nice try, dudes. Nice fucking try...

The snoring chronicals

2011-10-17T09:10:00.002-06:00

"Dude, you're snoring. Turn on your side."

::loud snoring sound::

::pokes Leo:: "HON. Please, turn over...you're snoring really loud!"

"Mfhuan..." ::snoring sound::

::continues trying to read::

::loud snoring from Leo's side of the bed::

"HONEEEYYY. Please, you're really loud tonight! Turn on your siiiiide!"

Leo, quiet for a moment, suddenly reaches over to his side table and turns on his bedside lamp.

::looks over at Leo:: "Um, what are you doing?"

"It was dark." Leo is lying on his pillow with his eyes closed, clearly still planning on sleeping, which generally is an activity he performs with his light OFF. A pillow he had propped behind his head falls on his face. He bats it away like it's a bug. He smiles. And he is clearly still asleep.

I go back to reading for a bit, and then I get up to go turn off Leo's lamp, and then switch mine off as well as I climb back into bed.

Leo's snoring has mercifully stopped.

He is so weird.

Maybe I need to rethink my stance on stupid people...

2011-10-13T11:03:00.002-06:00

...because they can be really entertaining!

I've taken to reading the comments on the stories about missing Baby Lisa over on the KMBC website since she disappeared. These were a couple of my favorites from yesterday:

"The parents of this baby don't appear to be too concerned. And I don't believe the mother's cries on TV. I would be a nervous wreck. Did the police check their home and also every closet plus basement. Why was it so easy to get into the window. My first born child'a crib was in our bedroom until he was ready for his own room and we had a two bedroom apartment. Our windows were locked and our bedroom door stayed open. I hope they find this baby soon and alive."

"I am going to keep up with this story and if I have anymore suggestions I will comment on it. I hope my thoughts prove to be helpful on this situation. One more thing, this baby could now be in another town or state."

[Emphasis on certain sentences is my own. Because HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!]

Those were both from the same commenter, mind you.

Also, keep in mind that the baby has been gone now for 10 days. So I'm sitting there laughing as I read those, thinking to myself, "Well I bet the authorities haven't even considered the fact that if she was kidnapped, the baby could be in an entirely different town or even STATE by now! Dadgum it!"

And then the next comment was in response to the above ones:

"I think you should take your suggestions to the police. Someone needs to tell the police to check the home and ALL the closets!"

Hehehehe! I don't have an account on that website. I haven't signed up there in order to keep my sanity in check, because arguing or discussing issues with some of the mental giants that comment there would surely decrease my quality of life, yo.

But that comment really helped to make me feel less alone in reading all this nonsense.

And then one of my friends sent me this link the other day, and we discussed the craziness from the website for a while. It's a page devoted to some of the more stupid responses to Steve Jobs's death out in Social Media Land, but my "favorite" part has to be at the very beginning. The FB discussion between Javon and Sam about Ben Franklin and Albert Einstein "inventing" electricity and gravity, respectively, was enough to make even MY ovaries hurt a little bit. Like, maybe I'm doing the world a disservice by not procreating? Maybe we'll wind up with people like Javon and Sam teaching young kids one day about the benefits of gravity and electricity having been "invented" all those many years ago. And how, without those inventions, we'd be listlessly floating in space without a way to plug in our computers...

I need to stop. My head is about to explode.

Anyway, I'm trying to be more positive, is the thing. Looking at the stupid as being more of a form of entertainment rather than a source of annoyance helps in that regard.

God knows how long it will last...

Clear for take-off? Sure, we can avoid that tornado over there...

2011-10-12T11:29:00.004-06:00

So I just saw this article about a woman that is suing Continental (and it's associated airline partners) over a flight she took with them that experienced "severe turbulence".

I usually don't side with these cases that seem a bit frivolous to some. But in this case? I have to agree that she's doing the right thing.

I've been on many flights that have experienced what I would consider to be moderate turbulence. LOTS of them, really.

But I've only been on maybe 2 that I'd say were severe. One of those was from St. Louis to Kansas City. Back in 2006, or so, I'd flown out there for the day to assist with some training in our branch locations for managers that were apparently retarded and couldn't figure out how to follow instructions at all, and flying back that night, my plane had to go through several thunderstorms between St. Louis and KC.

I thought that flying through the thunderstorms was pretty rough, but as we approached for landing, and descended below the cloud line, we were assaulted - that's just the best way to put it - by the winds at that level.

A usual 10 - 15 minute descent seemed to take FOREVER. It probably lasted at least 30 minutes instead, as the pilots maneuvered through the drafts, which were pushing the plane up, and then back down, and then suddenly tipping us left or right. It was terrifying.

I was luckily seated in the 2nd row. (It was a Southwest flight.) Us passengers up front had the good fortune to be near a level-headed flight attendant that kept us in good spirits, and encouraged us not to worry. She was leaning out from her jump seat next to the door, looking down the aisle at the back of the plane, where people were crying and holding hands across the aisle. She was also keeping a wary eye on her drink cart that had been haphazardly locked up before she hurried to her seat as we hit the heavy chop. It was banging around in a threatening way, and she was afraid she'd have to get up to keep it from rolling away.

She managed to keep us more focussed on the fact that she was unable to complete service in the cabin due to the turbulence issue, and she seemed to feel pretty badly that she was unable to collect cups and cans and stuff from people before she'd had to seat herself. She eventually sent a trashbag down the aisle, apologizing for having to collect the trash that way, but she appreciated our help with performing the service! Being focussed on something so trivial as keeping the plane clean was a nice distraction, if a small one.

Anyway, it didn't totally traumatize me. It didn't keep me from ever wanting to fly again. But I did decide that if I ever needed to travel to St. Louis for the day again, I'd just drive there. And I am VERY strict about the airports I will and will not fly in and out of during certain times of the year. I've been lucky since then with my flights out of KC for trips to California or to Chicago during the spring/summer months, and weather has consistently been on my side.

But I wouldn't hesistate to cancel/rearrange travel times in order to accommodate storminess that popped up unexpectedly on a travel day, if I had to.

My sanity is on the line, quite literally. I don't fuck around when it comes to my sanity!

So I don't blame this woman for filing the law suit. I think that airlines should be much more careful with the lives they have in their hands when it comes to flying in stormy weather. It seems like it'd be an easy decision, IMO. I still think that flight to KC that I took from St. Louis should have been delayed or canceled due to the weather that existed between the two cities, and I don't understand why it wasn't.

I hope this lady gets everything she asks for in the suit.

I am somewhat blocked.

2011-10-07T11:20:00.002-06:00

I clearly haven't been posting this week. It's been busy at work, is all. And in a good way, finally! So I've been enjoying it, really.

Of course, as an outskirt Kansas Citian, I've been closely following the missing Baby Lisa story, and as a quasi-psychic, I have to say I've had a bad gut feeling about it since the beginning. When the news came in this morning that her mother (supposedly) failed a polygraph test, I just shook my head and said, "I knew it!" Now, whether that's all true, or what the reasons are behind it all remains to be seen.

But a stranger did not walk into that house and steal their baby. THAT I am pretty damned sure of.

My personal thoughts are that some kind of tragic accident might've happened, either with the baby being left unattended in the bath, or one of her older half-siblings doing something accidentally to her that wound up resulting in her death...and that's when the family came up with this kidnapping story. To cover up her sudden disappearance.

Anyway, we'll see how it all washes in the next week, I'd bet, but in the meantime, if that baby IS still alive, I hope she's with someone who's caring for her.

Aside from that, this week in the Smith Homefront, we have discovered termites in our walls, wasps in our attic (Leo said there were at least 8 or 9 nests that he saw before crawling his ass back out of there again - AWESOME), and while we were considering replacing the carpet in the basement due to some water damage it had incurred from a broken sprinkler head next to the foundation wall, I think we're going to put that off until we find out just how much work we're going to have to do to deal with the critters we found upstairs.

I'm pretty calm about it, really. I'm taking each issue one at a time, and trying to keep Leo in a calm place as well. The house is a solid one. It may have some nooks and crannies here and there that will give us a little trouble, but we'll deal with it over time. And in the meantime, we will live in our lovely home, and stay warm when it's cold out, and cool when it's hot out, and have LOTS of people over to visit, and love it all the same.

That's the important thing.

One more update: I talked to the owner of the car wash about the damage done to my car on Monday afternoon. He was very cool about it, and told me to get a quote from the body shop that does the fixing for the dealership, and then bring it by for him to review. So all is better there, too.

And I really, really think that my next car will be some sort of old beater that I don't care about going through a car wash and getting damage done. Or getting a dent in the door from a careless coworker in the parking garage.

We'll see...

Happy Friday everyone! Have a great weekend...

Damn you, drive-thru car wash!

2011-10-04T08:07:00.003-06:00

I've been needing to wash my car pretty badly. It's needed it for at least a week, and then Friday morning on my way to the gym, the construction dust on a local highway made a mess all over the sides of the car as I drove through it, and made it even MORE urgent.

I planned on going out at lunch on Friday and getting it done. But then little satan guy in my head decided he wanted to play, and my day was shot to hell.

I don't know why I didn't get it done over the weekend. Just didn't think about it, for some reason.

So yesterday, I knew it had to be done. I thought about leaving at lunch time and going to Waterway down the street, but I wound up being busy through lunch. So I figured I could drive through the quicky wash on my way home from the chiropractor instead.

Something was telling me to take it to Waterway. Something deep inside my brain was uncomfy with the drive-thru wash place, but I couldn't figure out why. I've driven through it many times without issue, so I just ignored the worry, and drove through the wash as usual.

And as usual, I pulled over when I was done, and walked around my car to check and make sure there wasn't any damage done while I was in there.

Turns out, I was having a psychic moment with that whole uncomfy feeling. There were two deep scratches right up the front of my hood after the wash. I went over and told the guy in the booth, and he came to check it out. As we walked to where I'd parked my car, he asked me if I did anything while I was going through the wash? "Did you put your foot on the brake?" I tried not to roll my eyes, and just said, "Nah...I was singing along with my music. I don't think that's against the rules though..." He said he didn't mean to be rude, and I assured him I was just kidding around. I understood why he had to ask the question.

The shitty thing about it all is that the construction dirt is still fucking there. AND I have scratches on my hood, to boot.

I'm waiting for the owner of the wash to call me about the issue. ::sigh:: I'll always listen to those instincts that try to warn me from now on. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

It was unexpected, is all I'm saying.

2011-10-03T11:54:00.002-06:00

So on Friday, I went home from work at about 12:30, took my pain pill for my damned cluster headache, and went to sleep.

The first 3 hours I slept, I had weird dreams, but nothing too memorable.

The next 2 hours I slept (I woke up for a pee break at about 3:40-ish) (it was a doozy of a headache, srsly!) I remember suddenly being on a couch in some sort of club, hanging out with a bunch of people. One of them was Kobe Bryant. I asked him if he was honestly considering the deal from the Italians. He said he wasn't sure yet. I asked him if I could take a picture with him, so I could tweet to my friends that I was hanging out with him. He came and sat next to me, and I had Leo take pics with my phone.

Thing is, this bitch kept leaning into the picture, ruining my shot with Kobe! I was all, "Dude, get your own picture with him." And then we'd try to take another one, and fuck if she didn't lean into it in the last second!

I hate people like that. ::rolls eyes at the absurdity::

Next thing you know, we all need new drinks. I tell Kobe to go get them for us since, well...he's Kobe Bryant. He should be buying us drinks, dammit! So he heads to the bar, and when he came back, I was in a very serious conversation with Leo about something or another, and Kobe went to hand me a beer, and I was all, "WHOAH. Dude...are you trying to give me a Coors Light?" He was. He really was! So I told him to keep that damned beer (laughingly, of course...I mean, dude bought me a beer. That was nice!), and I managed to get my hands on a Bud Light he had wrapped up in his other arm. (Kobe is apparently very talented in many regards, and one of those includes him being able to carry armloads of bottled beer back to the couch for all his buddies he's hanging out with at any given moment! Handy!)

And then I woke up.

I didn't even get to drink my beer. :/

Aaaand, Friday is shot.

2011-09-30T09:45:00.005-06:00

Little satan guy in my brain says, "Oh hai there...can I come out and play?"
NO! Go 'way little satan guy!!!

I'm coming down with a sudden and nasty cluster headache.

It started out really fucking painfully, when I was trying to have a fun conversation with my boss and some other coworkers, and was hit with this pain in the back of the right side of my head out of nowhere.

Then it mellowed a little, after about 5 minutes.

And now it's moved to it's normal spot, behind my right eye, and it's dull and achy, and MUTHERFUCKER!

I have no idea what caused this one. None. I've been way less stressed this week than I was last week. I have been eating well, and exercising frequently. I've been getting sleep. (Although I have been waking up more tired than I usually do, and have to push myself moreso than usual to actually get out of bed. That might've been a sign that I wasn't familiar with.)

Ugh, now my whole lower jaw is aching. FUCK. I'm gonna have to go home early, take pain meds, and sleep. Way to ruin my Friday, brain! THANKS.

Decorating the new house. Hits and misses have occurred...

2011-09-29T13:13:00.005-06:00

It's been a while since I showed any of the updates we've been making on the house. Some areas are still being worked on - like the last guest room that just finally got a mattress in it, and we're waiting on the bedframe from Overstock.com to come. And we still need a side table for the space, but we might be able to find that this weekend with some thrift shopping...we'll see.

I think we've finally gotten the great room/living-dining-kitchen area figured out, though, and don't need anything more than some accessories here and there.

The master bath has been updated to include medicine cabinets and a corner shelving unit we had built for the space by the same builder that built our bathroom and kitchen cabinets for our last house. I haven't taken pictures of the final product yet, but here is the bathroom before:
...all nasty with the cluttered shelf we found as a temporary holding spot for all our bathroom needs.

And here is the project when it was almost complete...with the corner cabinet in place, and the medicine cabinets up and waiting for the doors to be put on:

I'll get pics of the space tonight when I get home. It is so nice to have space to put all our toiletries again!

One of the "misses" that we made when we were initially furnishing the new spaces we'd never had furniture for before, was buying a dining table and chairs that totally did not wind up jiving with the style we have gravitated towards after living in the house for a little while. We bought them after we'd only been there for around 2 weeks, and we were still trying to work out a stylish combo between our contemporary and traditional vibe we like to hit when we decorate. Leo tried to dress it up for me, but I couldn't see it as being anything other than a glorified conference room. I really didn't like it.
We wound up falling in deep, deep, deeeep love with this HUGE, super-traditional sideboard at Thomasville. I think we were there to look for a coffee table for the living room space. And there was the sideboard of our dreams.

Since it was such a traditional piece, we felt like we could easily replace the chairs in the dining room with more traditional ones, too, and keep the table as is. For now. So we started searching out new chairs that were reasonably priced, and found some at Home Decorators that struck a cord with us. We like how they have a tufting pattern that matches our couch, but also aren't overly feminine/traditional thanks to the shape of the chair (not totally traditional) and the nailhead detail around the edges (more masculine). Here's the end product:

We also got the rug through Home Decorators. LOVE IT.

Here's the monster sideboard that we wish we could have baby sideboards with:

The saleslady asked us at least 3 times if our space was big enough for the piece to fit in. I told her it was a large room...we would be fine. When the guys came to deliver it, I said that I hoped they didn't have to move one like it too often! One of them said, "This is the 6th one we've delivered in the past 2 weeks. 3 of those 6 didn't fit through the front door when we got there." UGH. I can't even imagine! It's all one piece...it can't be disassembled in order to fit it into a space. WHY wouldn't people measure properly to figure that shit out before buying it??? It's not exactly a cheap investment, yo.

Anyway, moving on, the living room has been a fun space to coordinate with the kitchen/dining room, as well as the rest of the house. The couch has the "Mad Men" feel going for it, but it's very comfy. I like the natural feel thrown over the room by the giant rock fireplace wall and the wood cabinets that flank it. So I convinced Leo to allow me to go more of a natural route when it came to the coffee table, and picked up two stone coffee tables from West Elm that I think are actually meant for outdoor spaces, but I don't care. I asked my friends for their advice when I was looking for a table, and they all just loved these ones, and I agreed! They finally arrived this week...
So cute!

This green chair is what we call "the anniversary chair" as Leo picked it up for me last year, I think it was, for our anniversary. (Might've been 2 years ago, actually.) We'd seen it at a local consignment store in town called Revival when we were looking for a storage piece for our guest room at the old house. It was only $74, but it seemed like a useless splurge at the time since we didn't know how much we were going to need to spend on the thing we actually needed to buy. Plus, we didn't know where we'd put it!

We left it there, but we kept referring back to it when we talked about furniture we wanted to buy. And then Leo surprised me with it a few months later for our anniversary! I was so glad it was still at the store! We plan on reupholstering it when Leo learns how, but the fabric is really in great shape, and it's not so offensive now that it's next to all the rest of our things.

It needed a side table, though, as it's placed a bit too far from the coffee tables for them to be convenient for it. So I picked up that twisty wood number from a random catalog we got in the mail a couple weeks back called Viva Terra. I love random catalogs that have neat stuff!

The rug is from Flor, and it's called "a la mode" in the "rocky road" color. We love Flor tiles, dammit! The low-pile ones are so easy to clean, and they're very reasonably priced. I highly recommend them.

Anyway, that's what's new at our place so far. I love our house, and am glad we've settled so well into the place. More pictures to come, soon! I want to share the guest rooms, and the finished master bath and bedroom with y'all...

Open letter to Toyota, and the "geniuses" that came up with the latest Prius commercial...

2011-09-28T07:15:00.002-06:00

Dear Toyota & Toyota's advertising company,

That Prius commerical you recently released? With all the people that make up one BIG person that's getting out of bed and getting ready for work and then going out to get in its car?

It's CREEPY. I can't even watch the screen when it's being fast-forwarded through, it's so fucking creepy.

Please to be pulling the commercial from all air-times, and release something...less creepy. PLEASE.

Thanks,

Faith

I think this is when it's ok to say "YIKES"

2011-09-27T07:32:00.003-06:00

We had a water line breakage at our house about a month and a half ago. We had no idea how long it had been running down the hill, but I'd imagine it was at least 5 hours that it went on for before we found it. And then it took 3 more to shut it off. (We had to call the water company to come turn it off, since it was at a main juncture in our sprinkler system. Shutting the water off in the house did nothing to help.)

I was a little worried about how bad our water bill was going to be, but I've managed to put it out of my mind until now.

I opened the water bill that came yesterday and saw that the previous bill was for 29,000 gallons. (That's for 2 months. We're billed on a bi-monthly basis.)

This bill was for 74,600 gallons.

::faints::

I just have to keep repeating to myself: I love our new house, I love our new house, I love our new house...

(I really do.)

(But DAMN.)

Here...for those curious about whether my numbers are off or not. A screen shot of the actual bill...
It was a LOT of water pouring down our hill! For many, many hours. ::sigh::

::bows down and kisses Friday's feet::

2011-09-23T14:08:00.002-06:00

WHEW. The week is better as of today. Not just because the work week is over, but because it's just better, is all.

Which is good, because I was about to turn into a HELLBEAST, and release on all mankind (in the general south Johnson County area, anyway) with the wrath of my evilness!!!

Or I was on the verge of glutting myself with a turkey burger and fries lunch.

One of those two things were definitely close to happening before today!

But! I feel better now. ::giant, huge, happy sigh:: So no turkey burger and fries were had. And no evil wrath was...wrathed.

Should be a beautiful weekend for those of us here in the middle of the US, so hope y'all are able to enjoy it! I plan on cleaning out my fireplaces, and getting my hair done. And then I'll watch football.

Woot. :D

This is just something I need to get off my chest... (UPDATED)

2011-09-20T15:27:00.003-06:00

I HATE MOVES AT WORK!

IHATEMOVESATWORK!

IHATEMOVESATWORK!

IHATEMOVESATWORK!

IHATEMOVESATWORK!

IHATEMOVESATWORK!

Hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE.

Any of you who are in a corporate environment where you've had to be shuffled for some reason of another due to building redesigns, or changes in organization size/duties, or just moved because it was time to move, or else everyone would turn into a zombie in their old location?

Yeah, the people who have to coordinate those moves are fucking ANGELS. Remember that. Remember that especially when they are working for 3 bosses, have PMS, have to help manage multiple fund raisers for a charity drive (that usually happens in October, but DAMMIT IT'S HAPPENING IN SEPTEMBER THIS YEAR FOR SOME REASON GAAAAH!), and at the same time are still doing their regular job which is already pretty stressful this time of year.

I know, I know...another work rant. Blah. I expect they should lighten up considerably in about 2 months.

Sorry.

UPDATE: Holy cow. A coworker in another office just emailed me in response to something I sent her earlier, and she said she hopes I'm well and that everything is going fine. Just...outta the blue. She said that in her note. No reason! Just being nice.

It made me get teary-eyed.

There is something WRONG with me, y'all! ::sigh::

Question for the locals/food bloggers/critics...

2011-09-16T15:11:00.003-06:00

Last night, Leo said something about how Oklahoma Joe's was supposed to be opening a new location someplace in Leawood sometime this year.

"Shut UP," I replied. "I haven't heard a word about that! It can't be true!" I ran to the computer and looked it up, and wound up finding a KC Business Journal article from May 2011 about how they had submitted plans to take over the old TGI Friday's location on Roe at 119th St.

Thing is, I'm over there all the time to grab salads from the Hen House that semi-shares the parking lot with that building, and the only action I've seen around it is when people park in the empty lot to snarf down the McD's they picked up for lunch.

I've been racking my brain trying to think of a good concept for that empty building for a while now, and I am so. glad. that, if they can come to an agreement, OK Joe's will be going in there. I think it would be a wildly successful spot for them. I know I'd be in there all the damned time, anyway!

So, what say you local people in the food industry know? Why did I have to look this shit up? Why wasn't it reported on Fat City a while ago? Was it reported on Fat City, and I just missed it? That happens from time to time, I guess. And what's the latest word on the opening? Have they come to an agreement on the lease?

I know that not everyone loves Oklahoma Joe's, but I've always enjoyed them in the past when I've had them, even though I've never actually been to one of their restaurants in person! (I've had their food at catered events.) So I'm excited about this, personally. Give me the scoop, if you have it!

Belligerent drunkenness: not as fashionable as it used to be.

2011-09-15T13:06:00.002-06:00

A while back, we had an incident here in Kansas City that involved a young dude getting beat up outside of a bar in a popular area in midtown called Westport.

On the surface, the story was pretty tragic. This guy (Brian Euston) was severely inebriated, apparently, and he was the last one of his friends to remain at the bar they’d been hanging out at that night. When he left, he was inexplicably beaten in a street not far from the bar, and he died of his injuries almost immediately.

No one really came forward to claim responsibility, as I recall. But the person who had attacked Brian was eventually discovered and charged with something that seemed appropriate for the level of crime that was committed.

The trial for the situation finally occurred this week. Stanford Griswold was being charged with involuntary manslaughter in the attack and subsequent death of Brian. Yesterday, the jury came back with a “not guilty” verdict.

I whole-heartedly agree with their decision, and am glad that Stanford and his family received the justice they deserved in this case.

Brian had been drinking in Kelly’s (a popular Westport bar, for some reason that I cannot manage to figure out myself. I hate that place…always full of assholes and douchebags) for 2 and a half hours. He and his friends didn’t even get there till midnight, which leads me to believe they might’ve been elsewhere for drinks prior to that.

It came to light during the trial that he wasn’t attacked just for the sake of being attacked. He was belligerent towards Stanford and Stanford’s girlfriend, to the point of approaching him/getting in his face and asking him things like, “What’s wrong with you?” and “Why do you look so mean?”

I’m not sure what Stanford looked like that night, but if some random person was all the sudden up in my face yelling at me, I might look a bit mean, too.

I’d be hard pressed not to react in SOME way toward the person, although in my personal background, the only belligerent drunk I’ve been incited to hit was my older sister. I socked her in the stomach once. In fact, we were at Kelly’s in Westport when it happened. It was many, many years ago when I’d just recently moved to KC. I was sober at the time, and she was pretty trashed, as I recall. She was picking at me for some reason or another, and I’d had about enough. I turned and socked her. I’m not proud of it, but it happened.

But I’ve had a few run ins with random drunk strangers over the last few months, and I have to say I don’t like it, particularly. But I don’t get to the point of wanting to hit them.

The last one that we encountered while hanging out at the Blue Moose, for example, was very odd, and was picking on me for absolutely no reason. Oh wait! I remember why he was picking on me…he was playing music on the jukebox, and he asked if we (me and Leo) minded country music. We said yeah, we did. He said something about him wanting to play it even more now! (Why’d he even ask, then???) Fortunately, he had his wife or girlfriend or whatever with him, and she managed to keep him under a relative amount of control.

The one before that was just an asshole from the beginning. He made snide remarks about me being an unhappy person, based on listening to me and Leo have a conversation about some feedback we’d received on our house that we were selling at the time, and over the course of the evening, he kept buying Leo shots he didn’t want, and getting drunker and drunker until the bartender told him he wasn’t serving him anything other than water for an hour. We left before he did, but apparently, he tried to run out on his $150 tab that night. The police found him and they were able to manage the situation from there, but still. ASS. HOLE.

Anyway, back to the case at hand…I feel bad for Brian’s family. But I feel like Stanford didn’t really do much of anything wrong, aside from giving in to his desire to put the smack down on the belligerent drunk that was harassing him for no apparent reason. I’m sure he wishes he could go back in time and NOT hit the dude, but what’s done is done. And I, for one, cannot blame him one bit for what happened to Brian that night.

I’m glad the whole “mystery” of it is solved, finally. And I hope our city can move on from the incident by learning a thing or two in the process.

(Yeah right!)

What?

2011-09-15T10:10:00.001-06:00

I was behind a truck this morning on my way to work that had a bumper sticker on it that said:

"KANSAS: As bigoted as you think we are."

What? The? FUCK?

The Twin takes on the challenge of the "popcorn" chicken...

2011-09-14T15:23:00.002-06:00

By the way, the Twin took it upon herself to go to KFC yesterday and get some popcorn chicken to see if there was any truth behind their advertising.

Unfortunately, she didn't look inside the pieces of popcorn chicken to see whether they were made of whole breast meat, as claimed in the commercial. She just was interested in the fact that they called it "popcorn" chicken when half the container wasn't exactly what we consider "popcorn" size. But I wanted to post the video anyway. Because she's awesome for going and doing that. :D

Triple the pain, triple the need for a vacation!

2011-09-14T11:51:00.002-06:00

I work for 3 people now. I started out working for 1. I worked for him for 4 years, and then they added another dude to my plate. Not a problem...we've adjusted well, and have learned to manage our schedules around all the fun.

Then they added another dude to my list about 2 months ago.

The thing is, at my company, it's not unusual to run across many admins that work for more than 1, 2, or 3 people. I've met people who manage 5 before, and while that thought makes my stomach turn, they seemed to be ok with it.

In the past, I've managed a whole team of executives under the COO of a company. Meaning, I did their expenses, I helped with HR issues for their hiring/firing, and I took notes in their meetings, all while I assisted the COO with his calendar, expenses, travel arranging, and other meeting needs.

And I made him eat lunch every day, too. (He was my brother in law. So I had a personal interest in him getting the calories he needed in order to get through the day without biting my head off.)

My job at a mortgage company was sort of like that one for the COO, except I was in a regional VP's office, and I ran the processes and procedures for the region's branch locations. So I worked with anywhere from 9 - 15 managers when it came to their reporting, HR onboarding/offboarding, expenses (although I didn't do them for them, I still had to help them a lot), supply ordering, commission processing, and general office running needs. At the same time, I answered the phones in the regional office, managed the VP's calendar and email, handled all the HR files for our region (we were required to have a file for every employee in the region, past and present), ordering supplies for our office, shipping packages (that's a daily occurrence in mortgage offices), and somehow managed to find time to create this here blog in my "down time" that I had there many years ago.

Anyway, it was a "fun" 10 years.

And I was very happy to finally get a job working for just one person when I was hired by my current company.

And I was even ok with them adding another guy after 4 years. They're both great to work for. I like their teams. Sometimes, they might as well be speaking Greek when it comes to their topics of discussion in staff meetings, but I muddle through as best I can for those 1 hour periods each week.

The 3rd guy isn't terrible, by any means. But I think he's still trying to figure out what an admin can and cannot do for him, and it's relatively painful to say "no" to someone I'm supporting. Makes me feel bad/worthless.

BUT. Since he's not even able to fire me, I try to let it roll off my back.

Today, I'm feeling that whole "too many cooks in the kitchen" feeling. My original boss? He's fine. Couldn't be better. We're still functioning well together and getting shit done.

But the other boss is used to being a bit more...god, I don't know how to put it. But if it helps, when I was thinking about it, I did a scattered-type jazz hands motion at my monitor as I tried to come up with a specific term.

For instance, we're trying to pull together a large move that our team will be doing at the end of October. I'm the point of contact (or "POC") for my original boss's team, and for my new boss's team. The other guy that I just got assigned to 2 months ago already had someone working on it for his team, so I'm spared the pain of that.

Old boss's team has a new area assigned to it. So I sent out a map, and told the managers that we need to pick spaces for their employees to sit in, and we need to have a meeting next week to go over it quickly and painlessly. Done.

The NEW boss's team...they had another guy working on their space, for some reason. I don't know how or why he got involved since I'M THE POC FOR THAT TEAM, but it's now junked everything up, and is making an already difficult process even MORE of a pain in my ass.

And to top it all off, some dude out in our east coast office is trying to figure out how to get a lock for his docking station. I clarified, "Do you mean for your laptop?" No, they mean for their docking station. I said, "If people are having a problem with docking stations getting stolen out there, we need to report it to security. And also, what a weird thing to steal!" The response was that security used to do rounds on the building and leave notes/warnings when they found docking stations unlocked.

Um, no. They never have done that. They did that for LAPTOPS, seeing as they cost a significant amount of money, and have security-sensitive info on them, but not for docking stations. I didn't even know you could lock a docking station to the desk, for fuck's sake.

I started to respond to the email about how people had gotten warnings about leaving docking stations unlocked at one point in time, but then I just thought, "You know what? I don't fucking care." I really don't. I had a docking station sitting on my desk for 4 years without issue, and had it ever been stolen, I'd let security know and then I'd order a new one. I don't even have one for my current computer because I can just plug all the shit directly into it without the help of the docking station. Takes me an extra 30 seconds every morning and afternoon when I plug it in and when I unplug it. If I ever get tired of doing that, I'll ask my boss if I can spend the $72 and get a fucking docking station. Whatevs.

Anyway, I'm annoyed by work today. Not sure if that was obvious or not. Just thought I would share. And now I need to go figure out that move situation with another admin. So, hopefully this ending isn't too disjointed. GAH.

Um, you got your angle wrong, KFC.

2011-09-12T08:35:00.002-06:00

Watched a lot of football this weekend. Yesterday, after the disaster that was the Chiefs game was over, we were watching the San Diego game, and then of course that awesome, awesome Jets game last night.

What a fucking fabulous weekend!

That said, I watched a few too many KFC commercials over and over, and got a little bothered by this new angle they've decided to attack other fast food places on.

What part of the chicken is a "nugget," they want to know?

And then they start talking about their "popcorn chicken" (which I had once back in 2000, and it sucked, btw) (I remember when it was because I was dating this one particular guy at the time, and we were only together during the year 2000, so that's how I can recall it) (not that anyone was obsessing over that part of this post, or anything...just wanted to clear it up, that that was pretty much the last time I can remember eating at a KFC), and how it's so much more superior to any nuggets that exist at other fast food places.

Um, so...what part of the chicken is "popcorn"?

Yeah, it's a dumb fucking commercial, is my point. People shouldn't eat that shit anyway, except on rare occassion, and if they do? I'm willing to bet that they don't give a flying shit whether they're eating a nugget made of meat pushed together and breaded, or a little popcorny bite of chicken that is basically a ruined crunchy horrible bit of chicken breast that has been fried to the point where it's only edible thanks to the help of a likely very fattening sauce that you dip it into to soften it up a little.

Just my 2 cents, anyway.

Nice try, Ho!

2011-09-09T11:59:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, the Twin sent me a link to a video that she had found via our older sister's FB page, or wall, or whatever the hell it is that you call it.

Or maybe older sis posted it on Twin's wall? I really have no idea.

Anyway, she sent it to me via email, because she knows I'm not on FB, and wouldn't see it otherwise. And then she told me that everyone (her and older sis, at least) thinks I should create a fake name (like...Faith Smith, I guess?) and join FB with it, and just remain anonymous, if I wanna. So that I don't miss out on shit like this.

But here's the thing...I totally just saw this video posted over at Barefoot Foodie, and yeah, so I might not've watched it (again) had I not already seen it and planned on watching it (again) (because it is so. fucking. FUNNY.), but still.

Point being: I don't have to be on FB in order to get in on the basement level of the super-funny shit that deserves to go viral, dammit. I got in on this video when it had only been watched around 132,000 times. Now it's up to 252,000 views, and maybe it'll be up to 1 million by the end of next week. Who knows?

Eeevvviiil lunch time.

2011-09-09T10:37:00.003-06:00

I just ran to pick up a little salad and my weekly Diet Coke from the grocery store near my work for lunch.

Total came to $6.66.

My immediate response was to say, "Well, that's creepy!" to the checkout girl. She didn't say anything at first, but after a second, she kind of chuckled.

I still don't know if she understood, but whatever. It's good customer service to agree with whatever crazy the customer may be spewing, right?

Anyway, I'm totally going to eat my evil salad and Diet Coke right now. Just wanted to warn you all about it. Mwahahahahahaha...

It's a rear-ending. There really isn't any need to investigate it further. Chick ran into the dude. DONE.

2011-09-08T09:57:00.004-06:00

I encounter a small amount of traffic every morning on my way to work at my intersection onto 119th street by my house. It's expected, and it's not a big deal.

This morning, though, I ran into THIS...
Not a HUGE deal, since a bunch of the impatient people in front of me kept turning out of line and heading back a different direction, but I decided to wait it out.

We were all stuck that way because the left lane was blocked by an accident. Not a horrifying, terrible accident, of course. Just your run of the mill rear-ending that can occur when you get too many people trying to get into the same lane to get onto a highway. I'm honestly surprised this is the 1st one I've run across in the 3 months we've lived in our new house!
Seriously, that white car had basically bumped into the gray mini-SUV in front of it. For me, it would have been an "Oops! Let's pull over and exchange info, and get on our way again..." kind of accident.

But for the people involved this morning, it was a call the police, have them block off a whole fucking lane of traffic during rush hour, and make several people late for work kind of accident.

Fucking assholes.

It only put me behind by about 7 minutes, but still, I found it all very odd. And I was bored, so I took pictures of it while I waited. You're welcome. :D

It feels like a run away kind of day.

2011-09-06T11:11:00.002-06:00

After about 30 minutes of work today, I wanted to run away.

I totally want to be at a park, maybe eating some frozen yogurt while sitting in my car listening to music that makes me feel happy.

But not so much in the mood to be here at my desk. Or to go home.

Ever just have one of those days? ::sigh::

Morrissey 2011 North American Tour dates/locations announced!

2011-09-01T10:04:00.003-06:00

Can someone please explain to me why Morrissey apparently has some sort of love affair with Texas, but Kansas City totally gets shunned? We're very similar to Texas, really. Except for the drought, the heat, and all those people walkin' around with guns they have there.

Boo, Morrissey! BOOOOO.

Morrissey -- 2011 Tour Dates
Thursday November 10 CHICAGO IL Congress Theater
Monday November 14 SAN ANTONIO TX Majestic Theater
Tuesday November 15 AUSTIN TX Bass Hall
Thursday November 17 DALLAS TX McFarlin Memorial Auditorium
Saturday November 19 SANTA FE NM Santa Fe Center
Sunday November 20 PHOENIX AZ Orpheum Theater
Tuesday November 22 ESCONDIDO CA Center for the Arts
Friday November 25 LAS VEGAS NV The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas
Saturday November 26 LOS ANGELES CA Shrine Auditorium
Monday November 28 POMONA CA Fox Theater
Thursday December 1 OAKLAND CA Fox Theater
December 5 MONTERREY arena (7,200)
December 7 MEXICO CITY plaza condesa (1,800)
December 8 MEXICO CITY plaza condesa (1,800)
December 10 PUEBLA siglo XX1 (4,700)
December 12 GUADALAJARA diana (2,200)
December 13 GUADALAJARA diana (2,200)

I told Leo that I would look into this as soon as the info was available, since I haven't been to a Morrissey concert since the 90's, and he hasn't ever seen him live. I think it's just important that everyone see him live at least once, dammit.

If I could afford the time off, we'd go to Chicago to see him! But I've almost exhausted my allowed time at work this year, and I'm afraid to ask for unpaid hours from my boss(es). Also, I have a feeling that will be a messy concert to go to, anyway. Since he's not doing any performances on the east coast (weird?), I'm betting the Chicago and the Las Vegas ones will be the performances people travel from other states to see the most.

::sigh:: MAJOR SAD FACE.

Zucchini chips! Totally worth the effort...

2011-08-30T07:22:00.003-06:00

So a little while ago, I wrote about how Leo and I had tried a restaurant down in Leawood called NoRTH, and how I'd instantaneously fallen in love with an appetizer they have there that is basically little fried zucchini chips of goodness.

Such magical goodness!

Anyway, I was bound and determined to try making these things at home. In my oven. Since I'm not the frying type, generally.

The Twin reminded me of this little plan I had to try making them at home when she lamented not trying the chips when she was in town for a visit a couple of weeks ago. Twin, try this instead of flying back out to visit again. (a) It's a little cheaper, and (b) it's EASY!!! :D

So I looked up recipes online for "baked zucchini chips" and was hard-pressed to find a recipe that didn't involve breading the darned things before baking them. They shouldn't have breading. They're just zucchini, oil, and salt, dammit! So I finally found a recipe, but I can't remember where it came from. So here's a decent substitute. Anyway, the idea was to buy small zucchinis...not any of those mutant crazy huge guys. And then to slice them thin (I used my mandoline. Of course, it totally bit me, which is kind of par for the course when it comes to me and the mandoline...), and cook them in a very low oven temp for a long period of time.

I set my oven to 250 degrees, and then sliced my zucchini. I tossed them well in olive oil, and then painstakingly laid them all out in rows on foil-lined baking sheets. I think I'll use parchment paper next time, but the foil worked all right. Then I sprinkled them liberally with sea salt. And then popped them in the oven for 1 hour.

After an hour, I took them out to see how they were doing. Some of the chip had stuck to the foil, but only around 3 or 4 of them. I then turned every last one of those slices of zucchini, because I'm crazy. They might not've needed turning. But I felt it was necessary. So I did it. A lot of water will evaporate during the "drying" process in the low temp oven, so I felt turning them would give the slices a better chance of crisping up, and getting unfloppy. Floppy zucchini chips are still better than NO zucchini chips, but still. I like 'em crispy, if I can manage it.

I put them back in the oven for another 30 minutes. And then I checked them and one pan was golden brown and absolutely completely done, while the other pan needed a little more time. Popped them back in for about 10 minutes. And then voila! Zucchini chips!

So, sooo good. It was hard not to eat the entire plate of them, but I only had a couple, and then I put the rest away into a tupperware container. (That was the sum total of 4 small zucchini, by the way. The chips shrink up a lot when you bake them.)

I'll probably devour them all tonight. Leo will help. YUM!

For the record, it's probably much less time consuming to just fry these things. But I still liked the challenge of baking them down. They're still covered in oil, so they can't be all that healthy, I suppose. Maybe I'll try making them without the oil next time, and see what happens...

It's true what they say about colonoscopies...

2011-08-26T11:40:00.002-06:00

I made it through. Somehow, I didn't wind up killing anything/anybody during the prep day, and I didn't die myself, although at times, it certainly felt like death would have been a welcome change for a bit!

I came through unscathed. And learned a little about my willpower levels, too. Wednesday, I ate a box of chicken broth, half of a pan of orange jello, 1 popsicle, a can of V8 Fusion juice, and then 64 ounces of Gatorade mixed with Miralax powder, which took me the better part of 3 hours to complete.

You'd be hard pressed to have any kind of appetite after that kind of process.

I thought about recording myself as I mixed the Gatorade and Miralax, and then some more as I drank it, but my brain wasn't working properly at that point in the day. (I had to start drinking it at 5 p.m.) So after I initially thought about recording myself, I also wondered if the product of the mixture would turn to some sort of gelatinous goo as it sat waiting for me to drink it. And should I put it in the fridge? But then I'd have to go up and down the stairs to get more every 15 minutes, and that didn't sound like a good idea as I'd already almost fallen down the stairs twice because my hair was throwing off my balance.

You heard me right...I said my HAIR threw off my balance. I don't know how either, but there ya go.

So I wound up losing track of the plans to record it all. I thought about it again a couple of times during the 6 o'clock hour, but then I started spending my free time in the loo, and I realized that doing anything other than sitting and then running to the bathroom would be highly unadvisable.

I went to bed at 10. I had a headache, and I was feeling pretty empty and hungry and nauseous at the same time, so I read for a bit, and then passed out.

At 12:30, I woke up feeling like hell. I had a headache that rivaled my usual clusters. And I knew the only way to get rid of it would be to eat something. But I couldn't eat anything. I was also so nauseous that I couldn't manage to get to sleep again.

I finally thought that maybe a popsicle would help. So I ate one in the dark of the living room, willing it to hit my belly like it was the cheeseburger my body was craving! It worked, a little. The nausea went away, but the headache was still there. I was still able to get myself to go back to sleep, though.

I woke a couple of times to let the dogs out, and also to deal with the aftermath of the popsicle, and then I slept until 8:15 or so, trying to avoid smelling Leo's breakfast as he cooked it.

The last thing I remember saying as they put me under was, "Wow, this does work fast!" to the nurse/anesthesiologist that had administered my propofol, and then I was waking up after a nice dream that I can't really remember. I felt loopy. They gave me apple juice to drink, and I tried not to down it in one gulp. The doctor came by to tell me what he'd found (nothing cancerous, but I DO have a fissure...and he sent some things that he collected so they could be tested to confirm what my intestinal issues are and if they go beyond IBS), and then I was allowed to get dressed and head home.

Colonoscopies are not hard. People who tell you this are not lying. And even the prep for it all...yeah, drinking Gatorade mixed with Miralax isn't my new favorite drink, or anything, but it wasn't THAT bad. Way too sweet for my liking, and downing over 64 oz of the stuff in 3 hours was not easy, but meh. Just keep yourself near a toilet that can handle the aftermath, and it'll all be over relatively quickly.

I'm so glad I can eat sandwiches again! But I'm also glad to know my limits when it comes to an empty stomach. I can still function relatively well when I've only eaten (haha! DRANK, really) 500 calories in one day. I can even hold a decent conversation with people, and notice weird, small details (like that the anesthesiology company that provided the propofol for my procedure was called "GasGas, LLC") after almost 24 hours of eating barely anything.

I don't wanna do it again anytime soon, mind you. But if I have to, I won't go kicking and screaming into the process.

If you need to have one, and have been putting it off for any reason, don't put it off anymore. It's not that bad. Promise!

Today is the day I lose 5 pounds magically

2011-08-24T08:23:00.002-06:00

(Except, not so much with the magic...)

(And knowing me? I probably will somehow GAIN 4 pounds instead. ::sigh::)

Tomorrow is my colonoscopy.

So today, I was allowed to start off my day with a light breakfast (I ate the delivery meal that came today...so 2 pieces of turkey bacon, 2 small healthy mini-muffins, and 1 "deviled" egg), but the rest of the day is just clear liquid things. I'm drinking an iced tea. My lunch and dinner will be broth and jello - carefully chosen so as to not include any red or blue dye in any way, so only the apricot and the generic orange versions will work, it seems!

And then at 3 p.m., I get to begin the fun cycle that includes a hellofalot of laxatives.

I'm so looking forward to the aftermath of THAT.

It's 9:30 a.m., and I already cannot stop thinking of food. This is usually a snack time for me, and even though I asked Leo to please make me jello last night while I was at the hairdressers making myself pretty (for HIM, dammit!) (ok, not really...for me. All for me. If he likes it, too? That's nice.), and he didn't realize that I had asked him to make me jello, so...no jello. He's making it this morning while I'm at work. And I bet he'll make my broth for lunch taste yummy and fabulous and absolutely full of flavor and all that good stuff!

So I suppose I'll forgive him. ;)

Anyway, I'm trying to not think of food. I think I'll head out to Google to find images of spiders eating bugs, and stuff like that. Maybe that'll do the trick. Wish me luck!

This blows.

2011-08-22T10:47:00.003-06:00

I have a cold. It's monumentally bad, because I can't take anything to help with the sinus issues aside from Sudafed, and I haven't had a chance to get any yet. Why didn't I pick some up when we were out shopping yesterday? WHHYYYYY?

Anyway, I'm sad. A very good friend of the family passed away last week. He killed himself, actually. And he was one of the last people on this earth that I would ever expect to do such a thing. He was one of my dad's best friends, and we've known their family for years and years and years...and to not be able to go to the funeral to support the loss is really disappointing to me.

The only thing cheering me slightly when I think about it is to imagine that he and dad are back together again. Causing trouble and hanging out with my mom on the other side.

There really isn't much more to be said aside from that. Hope everyone had a great weekend, and is having a better Monday than I am!

Being productive...

2011-08-16T14:19:00.003-06:00

I work for 3 different executives now. I used to work for just one. It was nice.

And then another one was added on at the end of last year. No biggy. Dude is cool...we get along well. It was working out swimmingly.

Then they (the VP team) asked if I could handle another. I said sure. The other person they asked has two much higher maintenance executives than mine, and I figured I could handle it.

Not so much.

Given, it's only been 2 weeks. I'm sure that 2 weeks is not enough time to get used to all this influx.

It doesn't help that it's been the hardest 2 weeks for me that I've physically had to face ever, either. But hopefully I'll have that figured out relatively soon.

I've scheduled the colonoscopy for next Thursday.

So we'll see! Hopefully, it's a simple solution, because sitting? It is a big part of this here admin job.

Anybody ever had a colonoscopy? Tell me that it's like playing with unicorns and not horribly terrible in any way, will ya? I do know that they'll knock me out for the procedure, so that's nice. But GAH. It's all a little terrifying, is all...

One last update about my mover saga...

2011-08-11T14:36:00.003-06:00

Anyone wanna hear what wound up happening with the mover? When I last talked about him, I had this story, and this story to tell. And then I decided to stop talking about it. My blood pressure couldn't handle it anymore!

But it definitely didn't end there. I stopped communicating with "Joeb" any way other than through email. I collected all the emails I had and saved them to my computer, and deleted them from my inbox, so I didn't have to have them junking it up anymore. But I needed to save them in case things didn't get resolved at all.

And every once in a while, I'd send him a new email, asking him if he'd had any luck finding our missing items. He said he hadn't, but he'd keep looking. I sent him pictures of some of them to help out in his search. He thanked me for the photo assistance.

He never responded to the Better Business Bureaus requests for communication about the issue. I stayed in contact with them, and finally followed up yesterday to confirm that they still hadn't heard anything from him, and that ever since the previous owner - who had been a BBB member in good standing for 4 years, I think it was - had sold the business to Joeb, they had had many, many complaints.

I told them about something that happened a couple of weeks ago that kind of confirmed that I'm not alone in this mess. My real estate agent texted me to ask if Leo and I were missing any golf clubs? And I said no, we don't golf. And she replied, "[Joeb] delivered 3 sets of clubs to another client of mine and they are not hers. My other client thinks he is on drugs..."

I told her that didn't surprise me at all.

So when I told the BBB rep that I spoke to about that issue, he said, "And how do you know about this information?" I told him that my real estate agent who had referred the jackass to us in the first place knew that we were missing a bunch of stuff. So she was checking to see if anything that he'd tried to deliver elsewhere might be something we were trying to find. "Oh...that makes sense," he said.

We finished the call with him saying that he wasn't sure what was going to happen at this point, but they'd look into it. I said that the very least they could do was downgrade the rating on the company. Because if I was looking into a business on their site and saw that they were in A- standing, I wouldn't think twice about using them, really. And this dude DEFINITELY doesn't deserve that A-. He doesn't even deserve a C!

Well, today I got an email from them that informed me that my complaint was officially closed.

"The Better Business Bureau (BBB) has made attempts to contact the business regarding the above referenced complaint. We regret to inform you that we have not received a response from the company.

Your complaint is against a company that is not a member of the BBB, and therefore has not agreed to work with the Bureau in order to resolve complaints.

This complaint case has now been closed as an UNANSWERED complaint in their file."

Soooo, I guess that means that the business is no longer a member of the BBB. Shocking! And now it's time to take them to small claims, because it seems like he's just never going to find our stuff, no matter what.

I don't mind the things that are replaceable, so much. I mean, it sucks, but it's something I can deal with.

But the dude lost two paintings that the Twin made in high school/college that I've been hanging on my walls ever since. I loved those paintings! I'm so pissed they're gone!

So small claims it is. ::sigh:: I hate going to court!

Do you eat convenience store food?

2011-08-10T09:09:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, as I drove back to work from a lunch appointment down in Stanley with Leo, I brought up a fun post I read on The Lunch Blog earlier in the day. Shaw had posted about a new roller food that QuikTrip released recently called the Loaded Potato Roller. We had a short discussion about how much food we had eaten at convenience stores, and I can’t remember a time when I’ve ever had a hot dog or a burger or even a breakfast sandwich from a place like that. I’ll sooner grab a bag of Gardetto’s snacks to go with my beverage than anything else. When we were little, we got things like hot dogs/corn dogs from a place called Der Weinerschnitzel, and so I guess I just never experienced the need to eat at a gas station, really.

Leo said it was something he used to do all the time. But it HAD been a while.

Anyway, this morning, he joined me at the gym when I went to meet my trainer. And when we were done, we headed up the street to QT for our reward of caffeine in large quantities.

While we were grabbing our drinks, Leo said, “I’m going to get one of those things. I worked out…I deserve it!” (The dude is a stick figure at this point, anyway. He can eat whatever he wants, really!) I was all, “No. C’mon, man! Roller food???”

(Yes, I’m a bit of a prude when it comes to the roller food. I admit it!)

I reminded him, “The guy who reviewed it said it really needs a sauce to go with it, though. And it’s all garlicy, and shit.” Leo was undeterred. He was going to try it, and I could not change his mind!

So we got in the car, and he started eating his weird-ass tube of mashed potatoes covered in bread crumbs, and seemed to enjoy it enough. He said it was somewhat over-garliced, but not too bad. It did get dry after a few bites, but then it was gone, and all was quiet again.

Until an hour later, when it hit his bowels! Hahahahahaha!

Yeah, roller food is not a good idea, dammit.

Dining out in the new neighborhood...

2011-08-09T12:15:00.002-06:00

Leo and I are getting used to being in a more southern part of Johnson County, now that we've moved. It's not as convenient as it used to be to hop in the car and head over to Friends on 39th, or to Brookside for our favorite flatbread at Blue Grotto, for example. It's not out of the question, by any means. But for convenience's sake, we're trying out some new places down here, and seeing how they can substitute for the old favorites in a pinch.

Sushi House is our go-to replacement for Friends. Totally different environment, of course, but the sushi is delicious, and we much prefer it to Ra. Nothing against Ra! But...well, they haven't been all that awesome the times we've gone there, so we gave up on them entirely.

Now if Sushi House could just do a $1 sushi promo once a week like Friends does, we'd be in the pink! :D

Anyway, I'd read about NoRTH a while back, and then we watched a No Reservations episode that took place in the northern part of Italy, and I told Leo, "We gotta check that place out!" So we headed there for lunch a couple of Saturdays ago, and really enjoyed our food!

It was also nice to see an old familiar face in the kitchen. An old coworker of Leo's that I also knew from the Blue Moose in PV works on the line. Cool! (It's always nice to run into people on the line that Leo didn't treat like dirt, and that he had a good relationship with. A couple of places we've gone to, he's seen a guy or two that he had to fire when he was managing them, and all I could hope was that they either didn't see us sitting in their restaurant, or they didn't remember him at all. Because, AUGH!)

Anyway, the flatbread was fine. The grilled artichoke was yummy.

But they have these things called "zucca chips" that are amaaaazziiinnng. Just thinly sliced zucchini, fried up and seasoned to perfection. So simple. So original.

So fucking good that I wanna eat them every day!!!

I want to try to replicate them, somewhat, by thinly slicing a zucchini on my mandolin and baking off the "chips" in the oven. But I wonder if it will work. Has anyone tried it yet? I know I'm not the only one in town that thinks that those chips are the fucking bomb...so tell me, have you recreated them at home with any success? If so, HOW? I must know!

I don't have a fryer, and I'm not all that big on frying stuff up, anyway. Which is why I wanted to try the oven baked method. But is it a waste of time?

In the meantime, I'm trying my best to not go to NoRTH every day to order the damned things. But I can only hold off for so long, people...

It must be this screen I hide behind.

2011-08-05T08:48:00.002-06:00

I don't know why I feel like talking about my ass with all of you out here on my blog. I think it must be like the whole Katie Couric thing, and how she was all gung-ho about people getting colonoscopies after she lost her husband to colon cancer. It's a matter of talking about something that, yeah, can be embarrassing. But it's for the greater good.

I s'pose. :/

The thing is, I am intensely private about my bizness in the bathroom. The fight that Leo and I had the other night? It turned out that he was mad because he thought I was yelling at him for even stepping foot into the master bath (sink area is outside of the toilet/shower area), when what I was upset about was that I had just gone to the bathroom, and I thought he was watching tv for a while longer, but he came in earlier than I expected to take a shower. And I was sure he had gone into the toilet/shower area after knowing that I'd just been in there.

Turns out that he had NOT gone in there. He was respecting my space, as usual, and was just brushing his teeth.

Anyway, I'm sensitive about it. Ok? That's my point. It's a barrier that I have up, and it's one of the few barriers, really, and I think it's a fine barrier for ALL people to have, so it's gonna stay right where it is, thanks.

But that doesn't mean that I feel uncomfy talking about what's going on with my asshole right now. Whatever it is. It's like that commercial for the Midwest Hemmerhoid Treatment Center..."Don't suffer in silence" is their motto. And I have to say that I agree. Maybe this isn't something I'll bring up around the table at the next dinner party or meet up that I attend, but I will discuss it here, in writing.

As I mentioned briefly in my post yesterday, I was beyond being able to handle the pain and discomfort anymore by the time a few hours had gone by at work. So I called the health center that we're lucky enough to have at our disposal here in my office and asked if they had an appointment opening, because I needed help. And the receptionist and I chatted a bit about what was wrong, with me on the verge of tears, and she said, "Why don't you just come on over here right now? We can at least see if it's something we can help with." So I did.

And when I filled out the paperwork for the walk-in appointment, I didn't know what to put down for the reason for my visit. It would have been the first time I put it in writing, and I certainly couldn't say "my asshole is being a DICK!" Or maybe I should've. I dunno.

Anyway, when the nurse called me back, we were walking to the room where they take blood pressure and temperature, and she said, "So is it both arms that are hurting?"

And I said, "I'm sorry? What? My arms are fine."

And she said, "So you don't have pain in your arms?" And then she asked me to take a seat, which was on a cushioned chair, so I eased onto it slowly, and I said, "No. That's not what it says." And I was quiet, and I looked around as she stared harder at the paperwork, and she was quiet, and I started to cry. And she said, "OH. Oh, I see...it's ok, I see what it says." (It said, "Pain/discomfort in my anus." NOT arms. HA! I wish!!!)

And so we discussed it a little bit more, and my blood pressure was RIDICULOUS (as well it should be, I was just so, sooo mortified and sad and in pain, and dammit I would be a robot if my blood pressure was normal under all those conditions!), so she took it a second time. And then we went into a room where I calmed down a bit, and explained the situation more behind a closed door.

And then she went to get the NP. And I cried with her, too. And then I had an exam, and she was very nice, and we discussed what she found (basically nothing. Which is frustrating and a bit more terrifying, because OMGWHATTHEFUCKISWRONGWITHME???), and she prescribed something that should help until I get to see the GI on the 15th. And if it doesn't, then I can go back to them and we can talk about pain meds.

The way I see it, having dealt with the IBS for the past several years, it's almost like I'm a bulimic with the problem on the opposite end. That's how I explain it to doctors that I see...I must be doing some sort of damage with the way my intake is, um...output. On some days, anyway. It's not every day, but there are times when it happens for several days at a time, and then there are times when I'm fine for 3 or 4 days, and, actually...to be honest, that hasn't happened in a while. I thought I was doing well this week, aside from the amount of pain I'm in, and then last night and this morning happened, and no. No I am not.

So that's where I stand right now. And hopefully I'm helping someone by being this open about my issues. I wish I could have normal problems, like my personal trainer who gets hit with softballs, or slides into a base and gets an infection in the wound, and has to wear an ace bandage around 3 months out of every year. And people say things like, "Did something happen when you were playing softball again?" And we all laugh because, yeah...it did.

But no. I have to have a problem with my ASS. Of course I do. And I have to try not to walk funny, in case people notice and ask if I sprained something. Because, I don't think that's what's happening here, no. And if I take a day off work, like I did on Wednesday, I have to try not to think about what to say when people ask, "Are you feeling better?" Because nuh-uh. The answer is NO. I just can't stay home for the next 2 weeks, is all! So I'm here, pushing through the day and trying not to burst into tears. But I tell them that yes...I'm feeling better, thanks! Must have just been one of those 24 hour things I had.

I so wish it was.

Oh, is that the way the universe wants to play this week?

2011-08-04T15:10:00.002-06:00

So far this week...

...I have stepped in gum as I got out of my car at the chiropractor/acupuncture doc office.

...I found a deep, long scratch/dent on the driver side of my car that is RED, and UGLY, and fuheihrjhdsgbatluweryuilthbJCFK>ghkadgtrila!!!!

(Both of those two things basically make me hate people all over again, if I ever stopped doing so. Srsly, how hard is it to NOT throw your gum out of your mouth when you are IN A FUCKING PARKING LOT??? Same question, sort of, for the car scratch. Why is it so. fucking. hard. for some people to avoid hitting the cars around them when they're parked next to them? RESPECT, MUTHERFUCKERS! Jeee-eee-eezY!)

...I was mistaken for being pregnant again by the same coworker who assumed it a week or so ago.

...My butt has only gotten worse, even though I took Wednesday off to lie down and take Advil all day long in hopes of making it happier. Didn't work.

...While I was home, I discovered a leak in our sprinkler line that was sending a cascade of water down the street for half the day before we found it, and for another 2 hours after while we waited for the water company to come shut it off for us. (Shutting off the main supply in the house didn't do the trick. Had to shut it off at the meter...)

...I got in a mysteriously-origined fight with Leo, prompting him to sleep in the guest room last night. Awesome. ::sigh::

...I had to give in and go to the urgent care center for help with my butt, because crying constantly at my desk was bound to send up some red flags. (I have an appointment with an official GI doc on the 15th, but I couldn't deal with this until then...I just couldn't.)

It's the end of the day almost. I'm banging out my work list really well, and that makes me feel good, so yay.

Leo apologized for being mad at me last night, blaming the "bad day" that generally happened for both of us.

The urgent care nurse practitioner was very nice and understanding, through all my tears and embarrassment, and helped me as much as she could.

And the leak in the sprinkler was an easy, not-too-expensive fix once the water was shut off.

So I'm trying to look at the bright side of it all.

But goddammit people...find a trash can for your gum, and stop opening your car doors into the cars around you!

I guess I still just want to belong.

2011-08-02T09:11:00.003-06:00

Does anyone else answer poll questions, and then get slightly let down when they see the results, and their response isn't the majority answer?

Is it weird that I do that? Or is that a normal response, I wonder?

I feel like this should be approached as a more sensitive subject...

2011-08-01T10:27:00.003-06:00

My asshole hurts.

What if I have asshole cancer? A guy at my work had it. It was something that his manager shared with us once during a staff meeting. I dunno how many other people knew about it, but I can honestly say now that if I have it? I don't really want people to know. I think I'd rather disappear mysteriously.

Where'd Faith go? Did she quit?

Not sure. She's like Amelia Earhart, or something!

That'd be my ideal way for the news to spread about me being gone, anyway.

Not that I'd be GONE-gone. The dude who had asshole cancer here at work was old, smoked heavily, was really skinny, and he survived treatment. So I'm imagining that if I do, indeed, have cancer of the asshole variety, I'll survive it.

Not that I'll want to. Because, oooowwwwwwww!

I have a call in to a gastrointerologist, finally. I've been dealing with this...issue, for lack of a better term...for well over 6 months now. It's my own damned fault that the doctor recommended to me is not available to see new patients until October, right? So I'm taking my chances with another doc in the same practice.

I'm sharing this information with you all because I know you can handle it. (Well, except the Twin. She probably stopped reading at about the point I said that my asshole hurts, I'd guess, and then commented about what a jerk I am for writing about this topic.) And talking about it makes me feel better, believe it or not.

Well, mentally, anyway. You guys are awesome, and I wish you could magically make my posterior feel like a happy place again, but I don't think you have that ability.

If you do? And you're holding out on me, for some reason? Karma, dude. I'd watch out for it.

Want updated pictures of the new house?

2011-07-29T13:51:00.003-06:00

I just realized, while I was trolling for cocktail tables all over the internet this afternoon, I haven't posted any updated photos of the new house in a while. I'm sorry! I think it was because I tried posting about the Hawaii trip a couple of weeks ago, and the photos would post, but the words wouldn't, and I got frustrated with it all together for a while.

So.

That said, THIS is one of the lovely pieces of art that was left behind by the previous owners:
It's in a guest bedroom upstairs that we call "the wolf room." Twin will get to sleep in there with it in a couple of weeks when she comes to visit. Twin, we also installed speakers in there so that we can play "night forest music" which includes an occassional howling from a wolf! Neat, huh?

:P

(Ok, ok...Leo painted over the wolf yesterday. And the Twin can sleep in whatever guest room she wants to. But the wolf room should be an awfully quiet one! Also, we will always call it "the wolf room." Forever and ever.)

When we were searching out lighting for the new great room area, Leo came across a page in a Room & Board catalog that had this chandelier in it:
He fell in love, and I really liked it, too. It went well with the table we'd picked out, and it was perfectly priced, IMO. I managed to find it on Hivemodern.com, when I was searching for the other light that he wanted for over the staircase. Because I'm awesome like that. :D Here's that chandelier, by the way:

It looks so cool in our house, guys! I don't have a better picture of it than this, but here it is!

Ok, so the dining table and chairs arrived last week. And after they delivered them, Leo took a picture and sent it to me right away:

My response was something along the lines of, "That looks like a conference table in my office. :( "

I didn't have to wait long before he sent me an updated picture that looked much better. When I got home, I took some photos in person with a digital camera, rather than the phone. See? Better, right?
I know that our taste in furnishings isn't the same as a lot of peoples', but those chairs were not only chosen for their looks (we like them, anyway), but also because we could see people sitting in them for long periods of time, and not getting uncomfortable. They're pretty fucking awesome, according to my ass.

Aside from the furnishing of the home, we have done a lo-hoooot of painting. I only helped minimally. Leo has been painting pretty much as a full-time job since we moved in, with the one vacation week in Hawaii as a break. The basement was the space I helped in. And it turned out FABulously. We still have a little clean-up/warming up to do in the space, but we really love the way the walls turned out:

It's been a lot of hard work. This weekend will probably be the first weekend in several where I actually need to go to the gym to get a workout in over Saturday and Sunday! But it's been well worth it. God, do we love this house!

I'm confused...

2011-07-29T11:44:00.003-06:00

Why the hell is there a movie about the Smurfs being made now? Has that cartoon even been on TV at all since the 80's? I mean, seriously, I don't know. So let me know if it's actually continued on and Gargamel is still harassing Papa and all the other smurfs for whatever reason he chooses from week to week...

There are people in an office not far from my desk that are having an apparently immensely funny conversation/meeting, and it is driving me up the mutherfucking WALL. I'd like to head out and start happy hour now, please.

(That seems like it's an oxymoronic issue, doesn't it? That someone is so happy, and it's making me want to leave to find my happiness elsewhere? I know...I'm weird.

But honestly, I want to go poke my head in there and say, "Um, can you shut the fuck up, please?" And I know that'd be the wrong thing to do. I think the only right thing would be to finish up work, and head home early...)

How do you deal with the stupid? Please, give me advice...

2011-07-27T11:33:00.002-06:00

I'm having a hard time dealing with a stupid person right now. I can't go into specifics, but honestly, I'm wondering how this person is able to maintain a job being as stupid as he apparently is.

I don't have to deal with him face to face, so maybe that isn't helping. I'm not sure.

But seriously...after a certain amount of time of having to deal with someone who is

(a) responding slowly to your email requests for help
(b) responding with totally irrelevant information once they DO get back to you
and (c) slowing down a process that affects other people in a negative manner

what do you do? Contact their boss? Tell them outright that they're affecting your productivity, and they need to step things up a bit? Or do you just deal with it, and move on because you DO have other shit you have to do, after all...?

The stupid is getting me down, basically. I HATE the stupid.

New talents are tough to find at 37.

2011-07-26T11:20:00.003-06:00

I discovered today that I can fall asleep in a waiting room at a car dealership while waiting for my car to be worked on. (And then wake up in a room full of other people waiting, too, by the way. WHOOPS! Hope I didn't snore!)

It helped that MSNBC was on, I think.

I used to have trouble falling asleep anywhere other than in bed, or in a nice sunbeam on the living room floor after church on a Sunday.

Thanks to the help of my pal xanax, I was able to sleep pretty well on the plane out to Hawaii and back this last trip.

But I didn't even have xanax today! I was just tired, so I fell asleep!

Wait...does this mean I'm getting old? OOH, maybe I'll go through menopause soon, then, too! ::crosses fingers::

This is a likely sign that I'm losing it, y'all.

2011-07-25T09:14:00.002-06:00

I think my desk at work is haunted.

Maybe.

I came in today, and noticed that a couple of hats that I usually keep on a top shelf were moved to another shelf over the weekend.

And just now, I realized that a gift that was given to me once by an intern a couple of years ago was upside down in it's spot. (It's a bomber plane built out of water bottles, taped together, that has dry-erase markers as "X-Bombs" attached to each side, balancing it all out.)

I'm going to keep an eye on things for the next few weeks, but yeah...something is up here. O_o

The curse of the apple-shaped body finally comes into play.

2011-07-22T07:04:00.002-06:00

It finally happened. One of my coworkers clearly thought I was pregnant, and started asking me how I'm feeling, and how I'm dealing with all this heat, and the feet swelling and stuff...and then started talking about how being pregnant in the dead of summer is definitely one of the more difficult things to have to deal with.

So that was my clue that she thought I am not just fat...that I must have another person in this dress with me, or something.

I started talking about how my twin had her babies in the summer, too, and I know how crazy it can be to be late term in July!

She said something about how she timed one of her kids perfectly, and had her in May...so nice walks in June were an option, and that was just a perfect time, in her opinion.

And as we were finishing up our respective tasks (I was getting water, she was getting coffee), I said, "Well, since I never plan on having any kids, I don't ever have to worry about any of that stuff! Hahahaha!" And she said, "Oh yeah...totally!" And laughed along with me.

I hope she doesn't feel too embarrassed. It's not her fault God blessed me with this apple shape.

Or that I chose to wear an empire-waist maxi dress to the office today. (It's hot as fuck out. Sorry...I'm dressing as classy as I can without lighting myself on fire.)

Anyway, it was funny. ::sucks in stomach::

My blog hates me and my Hawaii photos, just FYI.

2011-07-21T07:23:00.002-06:00

I tried posting a new post yesterday, twice, that had some additional photos from Hawaii in it, because they were fun and they put me in a good mood to look at.

But neither post went through. It's just sitting in my dashboard, taunting me with the photos, but continually erroring out and losing any word content I add each time. Fucking frustrating, man!

I know I said I wouldn't update on the mover situation anymore, but I just heard something interesting and kinda funny that I thought might be interesting and kinda funny to you all as well. My realtor texted me just now to ask if we lost a set of golf clubs in our move with Joeb. I said no...we don't golf. And she replied and said that he delivered three sets of clubs to another client of hers, and they don't belong to her. That other client thinks he might be on drugs.

I wouldn't doubt it.

I told her that while we're still waiting for some art that is missing (2 paintings that the Twin did back when we were in high school...), and a couple of boxes, we aren't holding our breath.

I'm still in weekly contact with him, just checking to see if he's found the art, or anything else, and to let him know that I have had the doors from the bookcase repaired, and because we did it through a company that we've worked with before and will be working with again really soon, they did it for free. I thought maybe that kind of news would be helpful with him maybe looking a little harder for my art that I really, really wish he hadn't lost.

We'll see.

The end of the week is almost here! I cannot wait to pass out tomorrow night, and not have to wake up again until after 9 the next day. WOOHOO!

Oh hello, downhill! It seems you've already met my day...

2011-07-19T13:38:00.002-06:00

So apparently, Almeta's daughter isn't planning any service or funeral for her mom.

::sigh::

This makes me a wee bit mad. But I'm going to see if I can meet up with our friend Jim, and get something planned all the same. Hell, even if we have a send-off of some kind at the Moose for her, it's waaaay better than absolutely NOTHING! Right?

I think I'm right.

Maybe I'll have a whiskey sour in her honor. Gotta do it Almeta-style, though. She could make one last for about 2 hours by adding ice to it as it got low, and the original ice began to melt. So. CUTE.

Aside from all that, I'm having a relatively productive week. Leo and I painted our basement starting on Sunday. Well, to be fair, I helped on Sunday, and he finished it yesterday while I was at work. It was a little ridiculous with the paint fumes in the house, so we learned a lesson there (um, don't paint your basement when it's 100 degrees outside in the shade, DUH), but it looks sooooo much better! As soon as the fumes have subsided enough for me to be in there for longer than 2 minutes, I'll take pics and get them loaded on the computer to share.

Definitely the oldest friend I've ever had...

2011-07-18T07:23:00.002-06:00

One of my favorite people in the world passed away yesterday morning. She was our oldest friend, literally, in the sense that she was born in 1917. So she was 94, y'all. That hadn't stopped her from coming in to the Blue Moose for a drink, almost daily, for the past 7 years that I've known her!

Ok, well...given, she was only in her late 80's when I met her. But still...

Her name was Almeta Wilcher. When I first met her, she was a regular at the Blue Moose, driving around from one favorite hang out to another in her big, maroon sedan. She would show up at the Moose at about 3-ish each day, after she was done getting some food at Waid's down the street. She'd have whiskey sours, and tip the bartenders $1 each time they made her one. She would sit on a barstool next to the rest of our little group, and tell stories about her last cruise she was on, or what it was like the first time she saw the Pacific ocean.

She was repetetive after a while, but she was such a lovely person, it was hard for me to hold that against her, really. It was like a 20 year old was trapped inside that 80 year old's body, and it just wanted to keep on being one of the crowd!

We didn't mind. We'd listen to her stories, and try to help her with her crossword puzzles (she did them all the time...said it kept her mind young and helped her from going senile), and watch after her when she showed up late for another round.

These last couple of years, she was slowing down a bit. She had to move in with her daughter instead of continuing to live in her own home she'd shared with her husband for many years. Our friend Jim started driving her to and from the Moose for her daily visits, because she had finally gotten beyond the age where she was comfortable driving herself. I counted on seeing her every Saturday when we were in there, though, and over the last few months, she hadn't been in all that often when we were there.

I asked Jim if she was doing ok. And he said she was. And then last month, the bartenders told us that she'd been in and out of the hospital, and was living in an assistance home. So I got the address of the home from Jim, and planned to go and visit as soon as we could get out there.

Unfortunately, with the move, and then vacation, time got away from us. Just yesterday, I was thinking about how we really needed to find time this week to go see Almeta, and make sure she was comfortable and didn't need anything.

And then this morning, before I walked out the door to head to the gym, I saw the email one of the bartenders at the Moose had sent me. He was letting me know that Almeta passed away Sunday morning, in case I hadn't heard yet.

I hadn't.

There's a part of me that is really, really sad that Almeta is gone. I wish she could tell me the story again about how she used to do Mrs. Russell Stover's hair each week back when she was a beautician in downtown Kansas City. And after her appointment each week, when Mrs. Russell Stover gave her her quarter tip, she would go out and grab a hotdog for lunch. It was her weekly treat to herself.

I wish she could show us the picture of her on Santa's lap on the one cruise she took during Christmastime a few years back. She was just so cute about her giddiness when it came to that photo!

I wish she could tell me again about how she and her friends tried to brew beer in her basement when she was 17, in Wellsville, KS. It didn't go so well, and one of the kegs blew up. Kinda ruined the whole keeping-it-a-secret-from-the-parents plan they had in place!

Almeta was basically awesome. She's what everyone might hope to be like when they get old and gray and a bit bent over in the shoulder. She always found something to compliment me on...she loved this one ratty old Gap sweater I used to wear a lot, because it was a knitted sweater, and she just thought it was so pretty on me! She loved my hair color. And the fun rings I would wear to the Moose.

She always had a lovely manicure on her hands. She kept her nails long, and she liked them red. And when she had a new jacket on, and we all noticed and complimented her on it, she hummed more to herself than usual in her happiness about it. (She was a hummer. It was cute, though, not annoying!)

I like to think that she's free now. That spirit was so young and so bubbly and so nice...and now she's free of the body that was holding her back from being able to truly be as social as she possibly could be. I can't help but wish that she'll find us in our new house, and drop by for a while. :) But I know that's just crazy talk.

Just the way Almeta liked it.

It's like a game of ping pong inside my head.

2011-07-14T12:18:00.002-06:00

Today sucks just a lil' bit. First of all, I have my stupid, useless, don't-need-it-so-time-to-make-it-stop! quarterly period right now. I hate it. Always have, always will. It's DUMB.

I know I sound like a child about it, but just...it's so unneccessary when it comes to me, seeing as I don't ever, ever, ever, EVER want to have children, that it drives me crazy that I still have to get it even just 4 times a year. My options for stopping it permanently are shitty, so I just have to wait around until my body decides it's menopause time, and God knows when that will happen! Probably, with my luck and karma, I'll have happy ready-to-reproduce organs that will keep on ticking till age 75! ::sigh::

*whispers to lady parts* Please don't keep on ticking till age 75. Please.

So today sucks for that. And then there was the whole stepping in dog shit in the bathroom this morning when I got up to go to the gym at 4:25 a.m. And then not noticing I'd done it, due to the sleep haze I was in, and tracking it all over with me until I saw what had happened about 30 seconds later. THAT was fun.

And now...NOW my body wants chocolate*. But my brain wants me to resist that urge because it knows that I don't need the chocolate. But then another, more evil part of my brain says, "Well, come on now. When was the last time you even HAD chocolate?" And the non-evil, more reasonable part of the brain says, "Last Saturday. Dumbass." And the evil part says, "Yeah, but did you have your period last Saturday? I THINK NOT. Eat the chocolate...enjoyyyy the chocolate...roll around in the chocolate and tell it you loooove iiiiiit..." And while the more reasonable side of the brain does not think that rolling around and talking to chocolate in the office is such a good idea, it's starting to side with the evil side that says to just go buy some already!

Do men know how fucking lucky they are? DO THEY? I sure hope so.

*This is completely and totally unrelated to the stepping-in-shit issue from this morning, btw. Stepping in Jake's shit did NOT make me want chocolate. Not at all. In fact, I couldn't eat for a good 2 hours after I'd finished cleaning up. And I'd already been up for 4 hours and had a strenuous workout by that time! So, yeah. The chocolate thing and the shit thing are two totally unrelated parts of my day.

I know this only adds to my oddness, but...

2011-07-13T15:28:00.002-06:00

...some days, it hits me that I work at a place that I had set my mind on working at oh so many years ago when I moved back to Kansas City. It took me around 4 different admin stints elsewhere, and approximately 8 years to get to it, but I finally made it here.

And I got lucky enough to be able to work for a couple of the coolest bosses I've ever known, to boot!

Seriously, how weird is that?

*This mushiness about work is brought to you all by the power of a day dream in a staff meeting I had about an hour ago. Ironic, no? :D

Release the nuns!

2011-07-11T11:55:00.001-06:00

Man, I am LOUD when I'm racing nuns!

What a week, eh?

2011-07-08T07:58:00.002-06:00

Ok, ok...so y'all are tired of the mover stories, and you know I am. So we'll just be done with that now. I'm going into silent mode with him, and I will with you guys too about it after this!

All I'm saying is that people who judge the situation from afar don't have the proper perspective on it. That much is clear to me. I can write a novel in here about why we hired the people we did, and why we made the decisions the way we did, but I don't really want to. Suffice it to say, selling a house is stressful. Buying a house is stressful. Doing both of those things within 2 weeks of each other? Yeah, it's awesome and all. But DAMN.

NEVER again. Never.

Dudes, I am so glad it is Friday.

Head? Meet desk. Desk? BAMBAMBAMBAMBAM!

2011-07-07T14:11:00.003-06:00

Some excerpts from the emails that have transpired since yesterday.

(I'm very tired.)

Joeb says:
"You deal with me on your insurance. You have $0.60 per pound per article. As i see it right now the weight of the bookcase is estimated at 100 pounds, the weight of the grill cover is estimated at 10 pounds at the most. So that would be a total of 110 pounds. That would be for a totalof $66.00. I am not going to go for you think there may be another wardrobe box missing. You were there when we moved you, you knew there was no inventory taken at that time. It was the cheapest move rate and that was what you wanted."

I replied:
"Hey hey hey, dude...you never offered me ANY OTHER MOVE RATE...

I'm not poor, Joeb. And our things are VERY important to us. If you had different rates for different kinds of moves, you needed to communicate that clearly! I have your entire package in a folder, and NOTHING in there indicates that I chose a certain type of move package!

What kind of business are you trying to run, man???

Our bookcase weighs WAY MORE than 100 pounds. You guys all balked at having to move it, especially to a downstairs location in the house. The damage you all did to the bookcase is going to cost WAY MORE than $60 to fix, and you know it."

(I was a little ticked off. Just a little.)

He replied:
"Take a look at the paper you signed. The office just informed me that you took the $0.60 per pound per article. It is in your signed contract with me. The BBB can not make me pay you any different than the contract that you signed. It is a legal binding contract.

At this time i am asking you to stop with the ugly, insulting, slam dunking me at every point that you can think of. I am trying to get this settled and done with. I do not have to continue to have to take your verbal abuse. And every email from you has been full of verbal abuse, insults and threats of an attorney. And any attorney will see this signed legal contract between me and you and find it binding. You may not be happy with the way things turned out but i see no way to make you happy."

Um, you know what woulda made me happy? HIM NOT BEING SUCH A DOUCHE!

My response (this is the full email):
"The paper I "signed" is attached. Of course, I don't have a copy of the one I signed...just the one with your comments about how I paid all moneys due to you, so if you have a copy of one with my signature, that'd be great to have in my possession. (You should have sent one to me after you made a copy of it. If you did send one, I never received it.)

As I see it, I signed a Valuation Option that was marked for the Minimum Valuation of $0.00 of deductible, Limit null, and $0.00 Cost. To me, that means that I have a $0 deductible to meet when it comes to damages, and there is no limit to the damages I can claim. All that for a $0 cost.

I don't know where you're pulling this $0.60 per pound per article nonsense from. Or the $250 deductable.

I've also attached the other additional information included in your quote package you gave us on 4/8/11. On the first page, you state, "As your representative, I pledge a total commitment of my time and resources to assure you a well coordinated and efficient move from inception to completion."

Now, I just ask you to think back over everything that's occurred in this contracted time you've shared with us:

- You didn't bring us additional boxes when we requested them, and when you finally did, it was less than 24 hours prior to the move. We had half of our house to pack up still.
- You didn't bring a truck large enough to handle our load of items on the day of the move.
- You didn't bring an efficiently sized team to move us, and one of them was completely inappropriately dressed for the job at hand.
- You left in the middle of the move to deposit my check. I know that you have said this is standard procedure, but it just isn't. Also, in doing so, you left my husband behind to do your job, essentially.
- You left early prior to finishing the job.
- You ignored my communication to you about our missing items.

Just tell me...how was any of that an example of a "total commitment" of your time? How could any of it be seen as a "well coordinated and efficient move"? I'm asking you calmly and without ire. I'm simply stating the facts.

The way you and your company handled this move made it 100% more stressful that it needed to be. Moves are already stressful without anything going wrong! And in our case, it's as if everything that could go wrong DID go wrong. The only thing that didn't happen is our stuff didn't burn up in a fire of some sort.

I need to go through my files at home to find the weight of the bookcase, as well as the cost info. It was a Crate & Barrel piece, and they no longer offer it for sale. We bought it 4 years ago. But I'm big on saving pretty much everything on stuff like that, so I'll see if I still have it, and then get the info to you later tonight. I believe it cost us somewhere around $1200 - $1500, though. And I'd estimate the total weight of the piece to be around 300 pounds. Each piece separately (top and bottom) likely weigh about 150 each. It took 3 men to move it into our house initially, and I don't know how many of you moved it from the house to the truck, but I'd imagine there must have been at least 3 of you working on it then, as well. Since I wasn't there, I can't know for sure.

I, too, want to get this resolved and just move on. But you've made that incredibly difficult to do. Which is what added to me being angry with you. If you'd handled it differently from the outset, I would have been a much more agreeable customer to work with, I can assure you.

Please advise on the Valuation Option that I've attached in the quote as agreed to on 4/8/11. Unless I'm completely misunderstanding that, it looks like you agreed to pay for the damages as incurred by your team during our move. With no limit attached. So I'm very confused about your information you've provided thus far."

Now, I might be really off in the head (seriously...I can't really tell anymore, at this point! Everything feels melty in there...), but I thought that was quite an improvement from previous emails. I was calm, collected, stating the facts clearly...

But I guess I was wrong...?
"I have recieved your email.I have had it with your rude behavior. You have put me down enough.

Look at your paper. It says

Valuation Options

Minimum Valuation-no deductable Limit null cost $0.00- Has a check mark

Depreciated Valuation-$250.00 deductable- limit null- There is no price there nor a check mark

Replacement Valuation-$250.00 deductble-limit null- There is no cost there nor a check mark
The check mark indicates which Valuation you choose. The Minimum which is by law is $0.60 per pound. To have Depreciated or Replacement Valuation it would have cost you money for that insurance it is not free.

The Minimum Valuationis $0.60 per poud and is free.

You said you have the folder that i gave you, look at it, there is paper work in there that tells you all about it.

I am not going to argue back and forth with you and continue to have you tell me about how to run muy business. Mistakes were made, I said i was sorry and that i would take car of the damage. End of the story.

If you care to email me again do it with out the hatefull statements and utting me down. You have done enough of that.

You will be getting your check in the mail as soon as i get a proper weight on the bookcase."

Good God. So fine. I sent this back to him, and will wait to see if he thinks I'm continuing to be nasty...
"Joeb, that was actually a really nice email, I thought. Maybe you should re-read it again? I was just pointing out why I've been as angry as I have been. (And you just keep trying to tell me why I shouldn't be angry.)

Obviously, we're not going to see eye to eye on this ever. Which makes sense on a fundamental level, but still...I'm your customer. Does that fact mean absolutely nothing to you? I'm so frustrated because it seems like it really doesn't. It makes me want to bang my head on hard surfaces.

I didn't choose the level of insurance you offered me. It was pre-chosen. I didn't put that "x" next to the minimum valuation line, it was obviously typed in on the quote for us, and I clearly have a different idea of what that all means, anyway, so I guess I should have asked you to explain it all to me when I signed it. I thought it meant that I was getting the best deal on my insurance options. I wasn't offered the chance to sign up for the other insurance options. Maybe that was something you discussed with [Leo] on the day you came to gather info for your quote on our move. But it was never relayed to me. And I'M the one that pays the bills, so it really should have been communicated to me better, I think.

Not that I'm trying to tell you how to do your job! I'm just giving you feedback on how I feel like I've been walked all over in this entire transaction.

Also, I included scans of all the documents I had in the folder you gave me. I've included them in attachment form on this email again, in case you didn't see them last time. Neither of them goes over the specifics of the insurance information or what happens if a claim needs to be made. Unless I'm totally missing that point, in which case, please highlight it and send it back to me! Because I feel a lot like I'm going insane over this whole thing, especially when you keep telling me that I've signed something that I don't even have a copy of with the signature on it.

Net/net, you make promises in your contract and the paperwork you give along with it that you failed to meet. Again, I'm not trying to put you down or to be hateful. You simply did not do the job that I paid for. I don't understand why that's something I'm not allowed to say. I'm your customer. Why is my feedback not worth anything to you at all?

I'm trying to be civil now...as civil as I can be, anyway. Because I'm tired. And I don't want to have to deal with this any more. I have lots more things I have to do to deal with the house, my new loan, my bills, my marriage, and frankly, it's all more important to me than it is for me to continue trying to reason with you. I'm not a very nice person to deal with when I'm treated like I'm a complete idiot who is being bothersome to someone that I paid to do a service for me.

It's like going out to a restaurant for dinner, having to pay after I get my drinks but before we finish the meal, and then having them serve me the wrong order in a half portion size, and then have the waitress reach over and break my finger before walking away laughing at me.

Can't you see this from my point of view at all?

I'm pretty sure you're saying you can't, but still. All I've been asking for all along was what the contract promised me.

So, sooo tired..."

It's so frustrating arguing with someone who is defensive and irrational! I really wish he'd stop being like that.

Lots to update with!

2011-07-06T11:37:00.003-06:00

Vacation was wonderful. My eye actually stopped twitching while I was away, and I wondered how long it would take for it to start back up again if we moved someplace like the North Shore of Oahu...I'd give it 3 weeks, maybe. The roosters having something that sounded like slaughter parties every other night would be enough to stress me out after a certain point, I'm sure!

Anyway. We were in Hawaii for a week. There were roosters. And there was lots of swimming. And the TV didn't work, but we really didn't mind all that much. We floated, we relaxed, we swam some more, we laughed, we fought a little because, well...DUH. But it's cool. It was still a wonderful time in my book!

And now we're back. And I know what everyone here is looking for...an update about the damned mover. Of course I have one!

So let's see...I was supposed to call him on July 4th to set up a time for delivery of our items on the 5th, right? So I did. And left a message.

And then I texted him about an hour later to follow up because why would he return my call? Pshaw!

And then I texted again, and called one more time before I finally passed out at 9 p.m. We'd been traveling for many, many hours in order to get back from Hawaii, and I was wiped out. I asked him to call me in the morning after 8 a.m.

He did call at 11-ish. He left me a message because it was the one time that day that my phone wasn't attached to my hip. He said that he was in North Carolina for a move, and that he'd left his storage unit key with a person named Eric who was supposed to have contacted me. He gave me his number, but messed it up several times as he did it, and said, "I'm going from memory here, so if (913) 555-5551 isn't right, then it's definitely (913) 555-5552." I tried calling both numbers, and both said they were disconnected.

So I called Joeb instead. This time, he answered! And he immediately got defensive and told me that I really had no right to be angry with him as he'd done nothing wrong.

I'll just let that sink in a bit.

Ok, so Joeb and I argued for a few minutes, with him constantly telling me that my being angry was unreasonable and unacceptable (!!!) and then I said, "Joeb, didn't you take an inventory of our items before or as you put them into storage?" And he said, "NO! You didn't pay for me to do that, so I didn't do an inventory." ::sigh:: I said, "Dude, you have GOT to be kidding me. That isn't something you do as a matter of standard on your storage moves? What the hell?" And then he said that he didn't have to justify his business practices to me, or some shit, and I got more mad, and finally just hung up.

I had texted my realtor earlier in the morning to let her know that Joeb was ignoring my attempts to contact him after he had agreed to speak to me on the 4th to set up delivery of our missing items on the 5th. She said she was going to email him. We finally had the computer set up in the house, so after my workout that morning, I went to the office to sit down and file the BBB complaint against this jackhole. And I also responded to my realtor's email to Joeb, in hopes that it would sink in to his teeny, tiny brain that he had indeed done MANY things wrong!

So here ya go...here's what transpired after that. Enjoy! It's kinda long, just to warn. Not that you'd expect anything otherwise from me:

"Hi Elizabeth,

Joeb finally returned my call today, and told me that he had left our items in the charge of someone named "Eric", who had a key to his storage unit, and was supposed to be delivering our items to us.

Mind you, I arranged with Joeb prior to our leaving for vacation that I would be contacting HIM on July 4th to arrange a time for HIM to deliver our items on July 5th. He finally agreed to that arrangement, probably because he wanted me to leave him alone on his precious vacation.

So I did. I called him at about 4:30 p.m. on July 4th. I didn't hear back. I texted him. I didn't hear back. I called him again with one final message before I went to bed at 9 p.m., and asked him to please contact me after 8 a.m. today, as we had been traveling for 36 hours starting Sunday, and we were tired, and I couldn't wait for him to contact me any longer on Monday night.

His message he left me (with "Eric's" phone numbers...he wasn't sure which one was correct as he was working from memory, he said, and by the way NEITHER number for "Eric" worked!) said that he was in North Carolina. Which I would assume he was aware would be the case prior to his vacation he was on starting the day after our move on 6/15.

He told me today, when he FINALLY answered his phone when I called that I had NO RIGHT to be upset with him, as he has done nothing wrong. I didn't let him know about the items that were missing until AFTER the move.

Which is a lie. We told him DURING the move that we were missing a wardrobe box, and he said nothing. We had two boxes he tried to give us that didn't even belong to us. He said NOTHING. I texted him that night to let him know that we were missing two dining room chairs. I texted him to let him know we were missing a CD cabinet the following day.

See, when people move into a house under durress, as we did, thanks to Joeb not bringing us additional boxes as requested until less than 24 hours before the move, and then bring a truck TOO SMALL to move the entire house at the same time, and says they will "do us a favor" by going back for a second trip, even though they don't usually do that sort of thing, but they'll do it for us because of the trouble with the boxes, and then they complain about the construction in the house on the day of the move, even though we TRIED to set up the move for the 17th because of the construction mess! But they weren't able to help on the 17th because they said they had a job in Platte City already...which turned out to actually be that they were going on vacation to the lake on the 16th. And then the stuff is hurriedly moved into the home on 3 different levels, with the help of a woman in FLIP FLOPS, and takes over 8 hours because not enough man power was accounted for in the move, and the owner of the company LEAVES MID-MOVE to deposit the check I paid him, and then when he returns, he and his crew break a major piece of furniture that belongs to us, and then LEAVES EARLY BEFORE THE JOB IS COMPLETED because they have to visit someone in the hospital (I'm totally serious...he couldn't stay to complete our move because he and his flip-flopped girlfriend had to go visit someone who'd been in a motorcycle accident the week before)...

Well. You can understand the stress involved. I didn't realize we were missing 2 chairs until I looked around for the additional 2 that were supposed to be in storage, and realized no one had ever brought them in.

I didn't realize the CD tower was missing until Leo said he'd looked for it, and couldn't find it.

We didn't realize the cover on the grill had been punctured multiple times until we went to grill the next night, and found not just the punctures, but also that the propane tank hadn't been detatched prior to moving it, and it was tipped sideways, and had leaked out releasing the remaining propane. Super-safe, by the way.

And yet, Joeb doesn't think he's done anything wrong. I'm "just a customer", so there's no reason for him to tell me he's going on vacation the day after he moves our house, and leaves several of our items God knows where. He doesn't think he should have to communicate with me while he's on vacation about the delivery of our items because...he's done nothing wrong. He doesn't think that arranging a professional manner of drop off for the items is important because...HE'S DONE NOTHING WRONG.

Oh, and the shit he broke? I guess I just get to deal with broken items, eh? Because obviously, Joeb didn't do anything wrong!!!

I'm reporting him to the BBB. I already put up negative reviews on Yelp and on the Yahoo search engine White Pages area for his company. And I plan to keep searchng out all locations that [the moving company] pops up in searches so I can place negative reviews in those locations as well.

Thanks for your continued help. I honestly don't know how this guy and his business were referred to you, but I'd find a way to pay that person back somehow, if I were you! I have some poison ivy we found in the backyard, if maybe you'd want that...;)

I'll be in touch...We really want you to see the place once we're able to organize everything (not that it's been made easy, thanks to our lovely move and all), so hopefully in the next couple of weeks we'll have it pulled together."

That note had been written to both my realtor and the email address for the moving company. So I got an auto response from their company that said something about them getting back to me about my inquiry within 24 hours, and customers are all important to them, blahblahblahbullshit. It made me laugh. So I replied to that, too.

""At [Moving Company] customer satisfaction is our highest priority." Hmm...maybe you should change that to read something more like, "We don't care about your items, and we don't care when we deliver them to you. As long as we get your money in our bank, you can go suck it."

That'd be more accurate."

And then I signed my real name. But Joeb missed that, apparently. He only saw that he was getting emails from a "Faith Smith" in his inbox, and lashed out accordingly.

"This is the most unprofessional way to assult someone i have ever seen.
Your comment below is very rude and nasty.

We are trying to get this worked out with the shipper. But to be told that she will stalk us were ever we go to bad mouth us. WOW!

We are at a move in NC. And no the phone was not anwered on a hoilday July4th. And I do not hve to tell a shipperwhen i am going on vacation.

We will keep these emails to give to the BBB to show how we are being threatened and talked to.

This shipper will be taken care of now that she is back in town. I should be ack in town in a couple of days."

So I wrote back, "That's not an "assault." It's the truth. (An "assault" would be what you did to our glass-doored cabinet that is lying in pieces on our office floor right now. In case you want a good comparison.)

Is it just this hard for you to see the truth in writing? Go ahead and send THIS to the BBB: "Joeb charges people for storage he claims is free, he goes to the bank in the middle of the move to deposit the check that's paying for the service, and then when the service isn't completed properly, he gets defensive, childish, ignores the customer, and expects the customer to justgo with it when their things are missing. But of course, he never gives them the stuff he basically has stolen from them. He just continually makes excuses as to why he can't do it."

Let's see how the BBB thinks that customer "service" should be rated, shall we?

And as far as reviews go, I'm sorry but do you expect me to give your company a GOOD review at this point? You must be in a mental state all your own, is all I can say. It's not stalking. It's covering bases to make sure no one else ever gets treated like you have treated me by your company again, if at all possible.

Also, you do realize that you responded to just MY email below, right? Who are you talking to when you're saying you're trying to work things out with "the shipper"? Also, if this is your idea of "working things out" with my husband and I? WOW. Seriously. Get help, man. I wasn't kidding about my suggestion on business courses in my last email. You need some. DESPERATELY.

Sincererly,
[Real Name]"

And then I followed up in another email, "Oh, and just a reminder, you said you would be available on July 4th for me to contact regarding delivering our items today, on July 5th. I have it in writing from you. In text form. I did that specifically so I could use it in a court of law in the future, should you come back and say something like, "And no the phone was not anwered on a hoilday July4th." You texted me at 12:42 p.m . on 6/24/11 and said, "I was away from my phone because I'm on vacation. I will look forward to your call on the 4th about the 5th. Once again I am going back to the water. Talk to u then." (I went ahead and bolded the pertinent parts, in case those aren't clear to you right off the bat.)

I'll have a complete write up of all of our texts available to send to you tomorrow afternoon, if you'd like them. I know you think that mine were simply harassment, but since you have our items in your possession, and we paid you to move them and you are now refusing to give them back to us? Any court of law would see it as me being persistent because you've basically stolen our things. You can try to look at it any other way you want to.

But you're in the wrong. And I'm right.

Is it because I'm a woman that you feel it's ok to treat me this way? I'm just wondering. If it were a man who was asking you for a definite date of delivery, and was calling you out for not delivering as promised/contracted, would you be more interested in helping him? Maybe that's why you're seemingly surprised that I'm so angry about our missing items that you're keeping from us? Because I'm female?

At this point, I'm at a total loss, so I'm just guessing that must be the case."

He responded pretty quickly: "At this point it sounds like you have turne this into a law suite. I will contact my company attorney at this point to get further instructions from him. I have not stolen your items and am not treating you in a bad manner because you are a women as you have just stated.
As I said before, get me a list of your damaged items, missing items and pictures of the damage. Do this via email and we will get the claim process going.
I have done y bst to deal wih you but all i ge is insulted no matter what i say."

I would assume that it looks that way because he's writing from his phone, but there's really no telling with this guy. That could be the way he actually spells shit. Who knows?

So I replied, "You have done the exact OPPOSITE of "y bst" to deal with this, Joeb. How you fail to see that is beyond me.

I've asked for the BBB to intervene as of today. I will go to my lawyer if futher assistance is required to get you to actually FACE this issue and handle it like a professional.

I will send pictures of the damaged items as soon as possible. Because the house was in such a mess after you "moved" us, we haven't had a chance to get online before today.

I sent a list of the missing items and their value to the BBB. You can deal with them through that.

Funny how you were planning on delivering all of our items to us on the 28th, and suddenly, you just don't have them. Hm. Wonder where they went while you were off enjoying your vacation!? Did they just walk out of the storage unit and hike on down the highway???

Apologies for all the sarcasm. But I don't how else to handle someone who behaves like you do in situations like this. It's been ridiculous. And in fact, looks like you've had other recent claims against you for customer service issues according to your BBB page. Maybe you should learn a lesson a lesson from all this, or maybe take up a different profession. Just a thought...

Thanks a ton."

And now we're at the point where we were discussing the missing items, and their value. But then this mysterious "Eric" person actually got a hold of me this morning at about 10:20 to say he was on his way to deliver the missing items to our house. Yay! Except, it wasn't all there. Booo. And I'm still waiting to hear back from Joeb about the insurance info so I can see what's being done about our broken bookcase.

I still don't understand why he needed the value of the missing items if he was going to return them all this time. Waste of my time, waste of his time...all of this is just such a fucking WASTE.

I sent this in a final email earlier today, and haven't heard anything back from him. It was just an update about the items that Eric delivered to the house today, and how there are still items missing. So I included the following, "Another tip for you in your future moving endeavors: keep an inventory when you pick up items and put them into storage. I don't know why that wasn't something that you already did, but it's something that should be allowed for in the cost of the move, if indeed you plan to charge people extra for it. I expected it was just standard procedure. And if it wasn't, and was something that you would have charged me extra for had you offered it, then you should have mentioned that when I hired you.

Because I can tell you now: had I known that you were just throwing our stuff into a storage unit without knowing what belonged to us, how much of it there was, and mixing it up with other peoples' items, I WOULDN'T HAVE HIRED YOUR COMPANY. Because that is just plain bad business, Joeb."

I'm tired. I'd like to sleep for 30 hours, now.

You didn't think it would end THERE, did ya? Naaahhh...

2011-06-24T12:28:00.002-06:00

So with regards to this moron mover guy that I'm dealing with...the other day, I showed y'all an email I sent to my realtor as a back up of my recommendation to her that she stop recommending him as a mover.

And then yesterday, he and I were "discussing" his possession of our stuff, even though we've paid him for the move, and we should have received all of our items last week. He doesn't seem to think he's done anything wrong. Leo and I would beg to differ.

The police suggested that I not let him brush me off. That I continue to text him/try to contact him by phone until he agreed to deliver our items on a date that we gave him as an option. Not a problem! I can do that. :D

So last night, I was texting him to let him know that the damage to our bookcase is much more extensive than just a pane of glass needing to be replaced, but actually both top sliding doors were damaged, and need to be repaired by a cabinet expert. I told him I would be getting an estimate for the repair costs from a cabinet maker I trust and know.

He replied, "We will be going through my insurance to fix any and all claims. Thank you & Have A Great Vacation!!"

Suddenly, my Great Vacation is a book title, or something. Who knows...

Anyway, that pissed me off. I continued on with my texting him info saying, "We also went to grill last night, and found that the moving crew decided to move the grill with the propane attached. It tipped over, and opened the line. Which emptied our tank. And the grill cover has two holes in it, which were not there prior to the move. The grill cover needs to be weatherproof, so that needs to be replaced. Please stop telling me to have a "great vacation". Its condescending, and really dismissive. I'm tired of u treating me like I'm troubling YOU, when you have caused me so much undue stress! Its beyond rude!"

I continued, "Going through your insurance huh? Funny how I didn't hear anything about that until I contacted YOU about the issues! I wonder how long it will be before I actually have a fixed cabinet if I let you handle the issue!?"

He didn't respond to any of that. Not that I expected it.

So this morning, I sent a follow-up, just to wake him up and make sure he knew I wasn't going away yet. I said, "I'd like to know if you agree to my request for you to deliver our items on July 5th, please. I'll contact you on the 4th to find out a time for the delivery."

No response, so an hour later I said, "Please advise on the July 5th delivery of our items."

He replied, "Call me on the 4th."

I said, "I will do that, in order to set up the delivery time for the 5th. Please confirm that you will deliver our items on the 5th."

He replied (you guys are gonna love this!), "I'm going to confirm that I'm not working or dealing with any work while I'm on vacation with my daughter. I will look forward to your call on the 4th. Thank you."

Do you hear that banging sound? Yeah, it's my head on my desk.

So I wrote back, "Unbelievable. You don't actually know if you have our items, do you? I'd like confirmation of their delivery on the 5th, please. You should be able to do that, if you were initially planning to bring them on the 28th. Since you're not giving me an answer, I'm assuming you don't have my items."

No response.

I continued, "If you can confirm a delivery date of July 5th, then I will not contact you again until the 4th, at which point we can arrange a delivery time. Otherwise, I will continue to attempt to contact you."

No response.

I wrote again 45 minutes later, "If you don't confirm the fact that you will be delivering the remainder of our items on July 5th, I will assume you do not have them, and will just go to the courthouse on the 5th instead to file my small claims suit against you. Please advise on whether you will be delivering them on the 5th or not."

And then I said, "I'll remind you that YOU are the one who took off on vacation before completing our move. None of this is my fault. I had no idea you would be unavailable for over a week after our move. So please stop ignoring me, and respond to my questions, sir."

No response.

So I continued, "Joeb, my request is a simple one to manage. Will you be delivering our items on July 5th? Yes or no?"

Finally, he responds...shockingly, with excuses and more bullshit about his fucking vacation! "I was away from my phone because I'm on vacation. I will look forward to your call on the 4th about the 5th. Once again I am going back to the water. Talk to you then. Thank you."

::tears a phone book in half to vent frustration::

I reply, "I've asked you a very specific question that you aren't answering. Are you going to deliver our items on the 5th? If not, then I will be pursuing a different route of contact with you, specifically through the use of a summons to court. Please advise! Will we receive our items??? Why is this so hard to answer?"

Finally!!! He answers the question. ::fist pump:: "Yes! I will talk to you later. I'm on vacation [::tearing into 2nd phone book::] & not concerning myself with work anymore until I return. Thank you & Have a Great Vacation yourself!"

I couldn't let it go without responding to his mutherfucking stupidass excuses and dumbassery about his vacation, though. "I don't know if you noticed, but you didn't really concern yourself with work when you weren't on vacation. Thanks for FINALLY answering my question. I'll be in touch."

Game. Set. MATCH.

Anyone have a margarita I can down in 2 seconds???

He's still on vacation! How lucky for him!!!

2011-06-23T14:09:00.003-06:00

My mover is still on vacation, apparently.

I think he might be a little retarded.

He did not call me today, as promised. So I texted him to see what his next step would be. He apologized, but said he "didn't have anything scheduled" so his kid came down for the rest of the weekend.

I didn't know what that meant, really. So I told him we want our stuff. He said he could return it next Tuesday. I said we were going on vacation as of Monday, and I want the items tomorrow or Saturday. He said he was sorry, but no can do!

We went on like that for a little while. He kept giving me excuses as to why it's been a week and he hasn't given us the rest of our things, and I kept telling him that I don't accept excuses, and he needed to find a way to get those things into my hands. Here's part of that exchange:

"Joeb, you have ignored me/us before. Its not something I'd recommend you continue to do! Please tell me what you're doing to resolve this issue in the time frame I offered."

He wrote back, "I'm thinking."

And then I didn't hear anything for 45 minutes. So I texted him again, "Its been 45 minutes. Please advise."

And he said, "I have made calls, waiting to see if I can pull off a couple of favors. I'm waiting for a call back. That's about all I can do at this point."

I said, "If I don't have a confirmation of a time of delivery either fri or sat this week for our items by 3:30 p.m., I'm contacting the authorities. Just fyi."

And then I continued, "You can rent a truck from home depot to bring them back to us! You can rent a uhail, you can borrow a buddy's truck...I don't understand what the issue is! You have LOTS of options!"

And finally, it came out..."The issue is I'm still on vacation, I will not be delivering your items before I return. I have the keys to the storage & my crew is in arkansas."

And I said, "I knew it. You're still at the lake, even though you knew this was an issue all week long. I'm calling the bank to try to stop payment on the check, and I'm calling the police to see what they advise me to do in this situation. YOU HAVE OUR ITEMS that we PAID YOU TO MOVE to our new house. You are holding them illegally right now!"

He replied, in the middle of all that, "I have done nothing wrong and the authorities would let you know that. I'm sorry for the inconvenience and I hope you have a great vacation!"

Um, FUCK YOU, TWAT.

I continued on, "This is no way to operate a successful business, joeb. Ignoring your customers, taking their items and not giving them back, leaving during the job to cash the check for payment, not completing the job after taking money for it...I'm going to the BBB next, and writing reviews everywhere I can. This is abominable!"

He wasn't responding, so I kept texting him, "I'm waiting for the police to call me back, btw. I'm telling them that I paid you for the contract as agreed, and you decided to keep several of our items. And we'll just see where it goes from there."

He finally said, "We both know I did not decide to keep your items. This is not uncommon in the moving industry. I'm on vacation & will resolve the matter when I return. Hope you have a great vacation too!"

Oh, fuck OFF, you moron!!!

I replied, "You're terrible at this moving thing, is all. TERRIBLE! I don't think you truly understand the concept of what your job is. If you're at the lake, you should be driving back right now to get us the items you have taken from us. This isn't common in the least. Not a way to run a business!"

So I spoke to the police, and their advice in this situation, especially since this jackwad tried to give us a box of stuff that didn't even belong to us, is to see if he can deliver the items after our vacation, as promised, and if not, then press charges against the company.

I then texted Joeb to let him know, "See, the issue is, you tried to give US a box of stuff that didn't belong to us. So how do I know you haven't done that with our items? And you're not just lying now? I've contacted the DA's office, and I can open an investigation into your business and its possible illegal practices, according to them. We get back from our vacation on July 4th. I will contact you that night to set up a time on the 5th for our items to be delivered. And if you fail to do that, I'm taking you to small claims court, and contacting the police to file a report."

I hope HE has a lovely last few days at the lake himself. Dumbass...

Does anyone else do stupid stuff like this?

2011-06-23T11:23:00.002-06:00

So I have this tendency, now and again, to get lunch from someplace (usually Panera), and then after I'm done eating, I'll look up the calories and fat content on their website for the items I just shoved down my gullet.

MOST of the time, I look before I go.

But there are days, here and there, where I head out without a specific agenda. Today is such a beautiful day, I left the office to enjoy it a bit, and to go check out the sale at JC Penney, since we need some linens and bed coverings and things, and saw that it was just as awesome as I expected it to be. And then when I was done there, I thought about lunch.

Get a salad at the grocery store? Nah...not in the mood to deal with the salad bar today.

Mini-pizza from Schlotskys? Nah...no reason. Just, no.

And then I thought, "OOH! Panera! Totally in the mood for them to make a salad for me." And went there.

They do have the calories for a lot of their items actually printed on the menu board now, I noticed. That was interesting. But I didn't notice it until I'd already begun ordering. So I looked up my calories just now, and I made a decent choice, really. (If I hadn't also eaten the hunk of bread that I chose as my side item. ::slaps back of own hand::)

Anyway, why do I do that? I guess I know now that I should take a walk this afternoon to help burn a few extra calories, right? ::sigh::

I'm weird.

If you hadn't noticed...

2011-06-22T11:03:00.003-06:00

...I'm pretty much sapped for content right now. I'll go ahead and post a letter I wrote to my realtor last week about our experience with the mover she recommended to us, since it kind of explains the bit o' hell we've been dealing with, in one regard anyway, and since it's informative and somewhat entertaining, I'd think. You know, to people who don't have to deal with this kind of incompetence, anyway...

Hi Elizabeth! Well, we moved to our new house successfully, and are still getting things fixed up, but man…it is SUCH an awesome feeling to be pretty much done with it all. THANK YOU for everything you and your office did to help us achieve our goals with our new house and our old one. You were amazing and obviously, we couldn’t have done it without you.

I wanted to give you some additional feedback about our experience with [Mover Dude] at [redacted, for the time being], though. Just for future reference.

We finally received the additional boxes we’d been asking for for two weeks after I arrived home at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesday night, the night before our scheduled move. As I explained to you, [Mover Dude] said that it is his plan to change the part of the contract that says anything about providing moving supplies, but I have to admit, it was one of the reasons we chose to work with him. If he takes that option away from folks, he should pack it in and move on to a new career. Here are some reasons why:

When he realized that they wouldn’t be able to fit all of our items into the truck he’d rented for the move, and would have to make a 2nd trip, he said something to Leo about “going ahead and doing that for us” since he’d been so much trouble with the boxes. I’m sorry, but it was his own damned fault that he didn’t rent a truck large enough to handle our furnishings, so for him to say that? Let’s just say it didn’t set things off on the right foot.

He brought along two other men, and one woman to help with the move. The woman was really nice. But she was wearing flip flops and short shorts. She was moving our items in that outfit. On stairs in our house that were covered in tarps due to construction. It was a little unsettling.

They arrived at the new house at about 12:30 or 12:45, and we took care of payment right off the bat. At about 2:30, [Mover Dude] left in the middle of moving the items out of the truck (Leo took over for him) to go deposit my check at the bank. Can you picture my shocked face? Because it’s what I’m wearing right now.

After he returned, they finished our first batch of the move by moving the large bookcase we had in our living room. It somewhat conveniently comes apart into a top and bottom half. When they took it apart, they didn’t prepare for the upper doors on the unit to fall off. And they both hit the floor of the truck with one panel of glass shattering in the process.

We discovered while [Mover Dude] was gone that we had a “mystery” box (it was unlabeled by us, and was labeled “sewing room” by someone that had used it before. But we labeled all of our boxes clearly, so we didn’t know what was up with it), and also found that one of the two wardrobe boxes that we packed for storage back in April was not on the truck. The mystery box turned out to belong to someone else. And I have no idea where our other wardrobe box is at. [Mover Dude] didn’t really say anything about finding it when we told him it wasn’t there.

And then he left. Apparently, a guy that had been working for him previously, a 17 year old, was in a motorcycle accident last week, and he and his girlfriend (the one in the flip flops) were going to go see him in the hospital. He gave the remaining two guys instructions for how to drive the truck, and what to pick up and stuff in the 2nd batch at our old house, and told me that because of the trouble, and the breaking of the bookcase, he had instructed them to go ahead and pick up the planters and other outdoor items of Leo's that he had previously said they weren’t going to move for us.

So, they were going to move items that belonged to us? Like movers are supposed to do??? Gee, THANKS.

When the guys got back to the new house with the 2nd load of items, they backed into a tree branch on one of our trees over on the driveway side of the house. Broke it. They clearly didn’t know how to drive the truck. And hell, I’VE driven a truck that size before LOTS of times for moves. I could have done it for them, for chrissakes.

He’s a moron, Elizabeth. The guy isn’t professional at all. I still don’t know where my missing wardrobe box is (it’s full of winter clothes, but has my really nice coats and stuff in it!), and I’ll be surprised if my broken pane of glass from my bookcase is going to get fixed without me bugging the shit out of him.

That’s all done and over, though, and I WILL be bothering [Mover Dude] to find out where our missing wardrobe is, and how he plans to fix the pane of glass they broke. But I wouldn’t recommend him to my worst enemy.

Now that we’re all done with the move, though, we’re working on fixing up the house. Hopefully we’ll have it done in the next few days, and you have to come over and see it once we have all the lighting and the furnishing and everything put together. I’ll let you know when it’s all ready to go!

In the meantime, thank you thank you thank you! It was really fun working with you, and I hope we weren’t too huge of a pain in the ass for ya!

Follow up on the Mover Dude: I sent him a text last Thursday that said, "...when will we get our missing items? We r missing that one wardrobe, and just realized we only have 2 kitchen chairs. And what's the plan for fixing the bookcase?"

He didn't reply. Shocking.

I called him on Friday, and left him a follow up message. Which he, again, didn't reply to.

On Saturday, I texted him again: "...I would like a reply from u about our mising items (which we also noticed a CD stand that's gone as well) and our broken glass. Please advise."

FINALLY, he responded: "I'm sorry, I'm at the lake. I will be back on Wednesday. I know exactly where your items are & I will be calling you on Thursday." I replied, "Awesome. Thanks."

Who wants to make bets that I don't hear from the guy without calling him myself tomorrow???

Fucking stupid, dammit. We were dumb, too. Should have kept a detailed list of everything he took to storage. We were just so busy with wanting to get the house ready to be put on the market and all...we got stupid with it. Grrrrrr! Never. again.

It happens around Father's Day, too.

2011-06-17T12:42:00.002-06:00

So around Mother's Day, I told y'all about my tendency to respond (internally) to the influx of emails and other items that are reminding us all that A WOMAN GAVE BIRTH TO YOU. CELEBRATE HER, DAMMIT!!! You know, 'cause that's kinda hard to forget without the reminder.

So the same thing happens around Father's Day, but not as much...it's just been too short of a period of time since I lost dad, and my brain doesn't work that way all the time when it comes to him, yet. Give it about 5 years. And then he'll get the same irreverent mocking from my brain that mom does. It's only fair!

Today, I got an email from Pizza Hut saying to "Make Dad proud" and take advantage of some $15 pizza offer they had. I deleted it, but not before my brain said, "Man, do you NOT know my dad! Dude thought pizza was nothing more than a snack, and also, he wouldn't be all that proud of me eating it, I don't think. ::looks down at belly::"

He's still in the forefront of my mind almost all the time. Even if it is sometimes in a judgy way. It wouldn't be him without the teeny tinge of judgement!

I miss him. Best dad in the world...

UPDATE: Holy christos, man.

2011-06-16T15:22:00.004-06:00

The guy in the cube next to mine has been consistently clearing his throat or coughing every 30 - 40 seconds ever since I got back from a break at lunch.

I'm ready to kill him at this point. Good fucking lord...

Update: It's now Friday. And the throat clearing/coughing is still happening in the cube next to me. I'm going to warn my boss that if there's a corpse in that cube on Monday, it's his own damned fault for not letting me go home early today...

The Move is Over

2011-06-16T08:08:00.002-06:00

Jake is trying to adjust to the new place...
The rest of us are, too. We're out of our old house, not without a fair amount of difficulty from the mover, who really could only be described best as a total idiot. But they only broke 1 glass panelled door, lost one wardrobe full of winter clothes that was in storage, backed into one tree, and tried to give us a box full of stuff that didn't belong to us. But hey...no one broke a leg or neck while they were walking down the basement stairs BACKWARDS with a desk in their hands. (Just the one dude. Not one dude on one end, and another dude on the other end. Just one. Walking backwards. Down some steps. Carrying a large item. Awesomeness.) So I guess it was a success? ::sigh::

I'm tired. And I look oh, so pretty. BUT I'm at work, in a clean environment. Without the stress of having to deal with contractors or anything. PHEW.

I'll follow up with pictures from the new place soon. Just have to get the computer set up and all so I can download them. Maybe tomorrow...

Breakdown achieved

2011-06-14T11:22:00.002-06:00

It's 12 p.m. and I still don't have the boxes the mover promised me.

My stomach is churning constantly with the stress.

Leo is down at the new house trying to get at least one room ready for shit to be moved into it tomorrow.

I broke down and sobbed when I was on the phone with him a little while ago, and then my realtor was at my door and the dogs were going ballistic, so I went out onto the porch and cried at her for a little bit (and told her not to recommend the mover to anyone else because he sucks at life), and then came inside and calmed down.

And now I'm trying to figure out WTF I'm supposed to do next. My head is a jumble.

I cannot WAIT until this week is over.

I'll do what I can to not lose my mind this week...

2011-06-13T13:20:00.002-06:00

This is the week we move into our new house. And leave the old one.

- The mover hasn't given us the boxes we've been requesting for 2 weeks. We need more boxes! I just spoke to him about why I didn't get them as promised on Saturday morning, and he told me that the guy driving the truck stopped to fuel up, and put in regular gasoline instead of diesel. In a diesel engine.

Awesome.

So that kind of fucked things up that day. And then he told me that he needs to work in a better part of the contract about not dropping off extra boxes after the first drop. Um, no? I'm paying you $3000 to move my ass, and you will bring me more boxes when I realize that you didn't give me enough in the 1st place, asshole. That's what it means to provide a "moving service"! Jeezy chreezy on a cracker...

- The new house has had almost all the popcorn ceilings scraped off. Just not in the great room because the vaulted ceilings require scaffolding (is that how that's spelled? I dunno...) to reach them, and the dude with the scaffolding didn't make it down last week, so now they aren't starting until today, and oh yeah...um, WE MOVE IN ON WEDNESDAY.

I just told my girlfriends that it's like an HGTV remodel show came in, tore everything up, and then left one contractor behind to fix it all again. And we have 24 hours left.

I'm mildly stressed. That's all.

- Leo gets home tonight, and we'll get back to packing, and then wait for more boxes to arrive (even though my expensive mover didn't want to give them to us, apparently. Which would have been good to know around, oh, I don't know...TWO WEEKS AGO when we started asking for them!), and then pack some more.

I can't wait till this is all done, y'all. I'll take pictures of the mess, so you can see what I mean. Oh, and I have a final walk-through with the buyers at our house on Wednesday afternoon, after we move out. I'm just not looking forward to that. ::sigh::

And today is the anniversary of my mother's death. Vunderbar.

I need a margarita. A big, strong one, yo...

Something that cheers me up!

2011-06-09T12:16:00.002-06:00

I drove past the new Trader Joe's location down at 119th and Roe the other day, and the SIGN IS UP! I cannot WAIT for them to open. WOOHOO.

In other news, we salvaged the sale of our home by giving in to the fucking insanity of the buyers. We were both just sick over the thought of it all...them walking away, us having to maybe go through all that again, not having the money from the sale like we expected, etc, etc...so we just fucking gave up. We're moving on.

I feel much better today. Even though it was pretty shitty what they did to us. I almost feel bad subjecting our awesome neighbors to them, because obviously, they're made of evil, and don't really care about human beings other than themselves. But that's ok. I'm trying to let it all go.

And also, somehow, all that crazy helped me lose 2 pounds yesterday, so, yeah. Whatever.

I have subtle plans for ways to get back at them. Nothing that will get us in trouble, of course. But plans all the same. ;)

Today, I'm going to enjoy an afternoon of Royals baseball that my boss is treating a bunch of his team to. And try not to think about people being assholes. So tired of people just sucking the life out of me...

People suck.

2011-06-07T09:25:00.000-06:00

Looks like the sale on our old house is falling through.

::sigh::

I'm going into hermit mode for a bit, I think. Goddammit...

And the day was going so well, too...

2011-06-06T15:16:00.002-06:00

Shit. The appraisal on our house came in low.

Probably due to the fact that the appraiser is a fucking douche, but whatever.

Anyway, I'm waiting to hear back on how the buyers want to proceed. Hopefully, we can work something out. ::sigh::

And then at work, we have a new dude starting next week. I found a space for him to sit in, and felt pretty damned proud of myself for finding it, too! We're really tight on space right now, and are waiting for a big team to move out and make room for more of our team. But it won't happen until the end of June, probably. In the mean time, if I find an open cube, I snatch it up!

Well, the hiring manager just came over to my desk a little while ago, and told me that the cube I assigned the new hire to belonged to a dude that died quite suddenly a few weeks ago.

I hate to be callous, but I was all, "Um, well, it's an open cube!"

He asked if maybe I could find something else instead. I told him I'd do my best, but no guarantees! At the very worst, he'd only have to sit there for a week and a half or so before we do our move. Still, he's apparently uncomfy with the fact that this other guy's old team is still all around in that area, and is afraid of how they might feel with someone sitting there.

Totally understandable. But still...why today?

I need wine.